Hi, my name is Harper.
See this cute outfit? Well, my mom bought one for me and one for my big sister, Elliott. Not cool, Mom, not cool. Dressing us alike is overrated. I want to be an individual and special. Plus, Elliott looks pretty silly in hers.
Seriously, Mom, look at my face. Does it look like I’m kidding right now? She looked silly.
Anneeeway, on a lighter note, have you combed my hair today? I can’t really see it, but it feels a little out of control…
Hmm, your words are telling me “yes, I combed your hair,” but your eyes are telling me you did not. I will remember this tonight. Say around 2 am, that sound good?
I think we’re done here. I’ve made my point. Now, has anyone seen my bottle?