Mary Graham

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I don’t want to forget

Ellie learned to ride her bike last week and now all she wants to do is go for bike rides.  I was at work when she finally mastered the art of pedaling so when I got home she had to show off her skills.  And then after dinner we went for a long walk/bike ride. 
Following behind her I was overwhelmed by her big-ness.
She was leaving us in her dust and I felt it in much more than just a literal sense. 
I wanted time to stand still in that moment.  I wanted everyone to stop growing, learning, and leaving.  I wanted to stay trapped in that evening walk and not let the world in. 
I know that can’t (and shouldn’t) happen.  It’s just so shocking sometimes how fast time goes. 
How everything changes in a blink of an eye.
I don’t want Ellie to ever stop trying to argue her way out of bedtime by saying she “didn’t even take a yawn today.”
She told Chris recently that when she goes to a wedding, she needs him to come with her because she can’t dance by herself.  I don’t want her to figure out that you can dance with other boys.  Right now I’m so thankful that she only has eyes for her daddy and I want that to last forever.
One day she’ll stop responding to my I-love-yous with “I love you too, Mum” like we’re British and I’ll miss it terribly.
There will come a time when Friday nights won’t be snug-on-the-couch-and-watch-a-movie night.  Ellie and Harper will be with friends and I’ll be stalking them in my car or texting them about curfew.  So right now I try to soak up every moment.
As I walked along with speed-demon Ellie last week, I tried to memorize every sight and sound.  Her little calf muscles working hard and her fingers pulling the bell.  Her giggle and her toothy smile.  Her sweaty neck and her chubby feet. 
Because I understand how quickly it all changes.  And it’s just way too fast.
« from a magazine, part three
from a magazine, part four »

Comments

  1. Alli says

    August 7, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    I feel this way on a regular basis. You put it into words very well.

    Reply
    • mary @ trusty chucks says

      August 7, 2012 at 4:31 pm

      Thanks Alli. Glad I’m not the only one who’s overwhelmed.

      Reply
  2. Alli from Life on LeRoy says

    August 20, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    Such a great post! My little guy just turned 3 and we got him a bike, but he’s a little scared of it still 😉 I try to remember every thing and soak in every moment I can too because I don’t want to forget anything!! Thanks for linking up with us!

    Reply

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