I think there is something very bold in that. I know my God can handle it, but it still feels very risky. Me telling God exactly what I think I need.
But I know I’m struggling and need some help.
I’m asking to be content, specifically with my closet.
I know that sounds silly, but it seems to be taking up too much of my life: window shopping, browsing the internet, ordering online, shopping in stores, feeling I have to use this great coupon I got in the mail.
And I have a lot of clothes.
I’ve always been a shopper. Always.
Now I’m trying to be more of a keeper. Because as much as I was shopping, I was getting rid of stuff just as fast. I’m completely obsessed with organization and keeping things tidy. So instead of buying less stuff to put in my closet, I was just getting rid of stuff all the time to make room for more.
And now it’s getting to the point where I miss some of the things I’ve gotten rid of.
There’s a natural weeding-out process that’s happening now that I’ve lost 25 pounds. Some things just don’t fit anymore. Some things are too big to be belted. It doesn’t matter how much I loved a pair of jeans, it still feels good to not be able to wear them anymore.
So I have been getting new clothes more rapidly lately because of weight loss, but I need to cool my jets–I don’t have to buy something every time I step into a store or get on the internet.
So my prayer right now is for contentment. This is a prayer that comes up a lot for many different reasons and right now it’s about something that seems so silly but can effect so much.
God, please allow me to see your big picture and care less abou instant gratification. I want to focus less on this world and more on you. Please help me to say no, be patient, and use my resources in a more worshipful way.