(dress: Target, tights & socks: Vera Wang for Kohls, boots: Target [similar], sweater: Kohls, belt: Old Navy, necklace: The Tiny Shop, dog: Blue, our rat terrier)
Secret: I have lost over 30 pounds in the past five months. But I don’t feel any different. Truly, I don’t remember that I weigh less and when I look in the mirror, I don’t see much change. But when I put my clothes on, I remember. Or when I have to clean out my closet because everything is too big, then I remember.
But on a daily basis, it’s not at the forefront of my mind. And I kind of thought it would be.
I thought once I was thinner, things would be different and better and more beautiful and wonderful and…okay, maybe I’m getting a little carried away, but I thought things would be different.
And really, they’re not. I still do the same things as before. I still have the same stress, same problems, same fights. I still have the same friends, the same life. I think there was a part of me that thought being thinner would make me special or better or great.
It’s funny the things you think when you’re not happy with your appearance.
But I’m still the exact same inside: good and bad, it’s still all there.
Yes, I’m healthier and blah blah blah. I don’t want to gain the weight back, but it’s just not what I thought it would be either. Maybe I wanted unrelated things to change when I shed some pounds. Truly, I don’t know what I thought.
But here’s something fun–before and after pictures. That’s when I see my progress.
Also, I see that I probably shouldn’t have been wearing that dress last winter.
And I’m really glad I’m letting my bangs grow out.
That pretty much happens every time I stumble upon my old outfit photos–I realize how bad I truly looked and why didn’t anyone say anything? It’s embarrassing and I really would like to take all the old photos down but I think that does a disservice to my journey and also you, my reader.
Because I don’t always post pretty stuff. Because sometimes life isn’t pretty. And I’m not just talking about pictures and looks. I’m talking about life being ugly and messy and sometimes it just sucks. So me getting rid of all of that and only sharing what I think will look good for others is dangerous.
So I’m leaving the embarrassing stuff up for the sake of my journey but let it be known that I’m not happy about it. (I smiled as I typed that, so don’t worry, I’m not bitter…)
In conclusion:
1. I’ve lost some weight, it doesn’t feel like I thought it would, but it’s still pretty great.
2. Sometimes I wear clothes that I think look okay, but later realize they were not.
3. Bangs are not always the right answer.
What about you? Have you learned any good lessons lately? Share your wisdom please…
Mary, you look awesome! Such an inspiration!
HOTTIE! 🙂
You look fabulous! Seriously.
In the spring I lost 26 pounds. I too thought there would be a big difference, yet, hardly anyone noticed, including myself. I am still surprised when I put things on and they are huge. I kinda think that’s a good think. I think it means our weight doesn’t change who we are. We are more than a number on the scale. You know?
Congrats on a job well done.
~FringeGirl
and this is why i LOVE reading your blog. truth sister. it is the real deal. also? you super rock. and even though you say what i know is the truth, i still want to lose my weight so that everything in my life will be country living magazine spread worthy. YEAH RIGHT…but i do want to lose it anyways. you look great! 🙂
Congratulations! What an inspiration!
I understand what you mean. I lost 50 before I got pregnant with Ronan. I knew I looked different but I never saw it. It never rocked my world. I did have to get new clothes but I just never felt like the weight loss commercials. I think it’s because I still had 20ish more to go. Who knows? Now that i’m pregnant i’m regretting that attitude. I want my imperfect body back now! 🙂 You look wonderful and i’m super proud of you. One of the biggest differences is your smile. You look happy. I’m sure that you feel better and it really shows. Great job Mary!
Totally inspiring though! You look amazing!
Congrats, girlfriend. Also, how? How do I lose the weight? What changes have you made? xoxo
i think we often see others and ourselves as our personalities. i dont remember you being bigger… but you do have kids, and a job. good job losing the weight with all of that on your plate! awesome.
Congrats on the weight loss! You look great!
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Congratulations! You look fab!
✰Transatlantic Blonde✰
You look fabulous. Thirty pounds is huge progress.
Wow, you look fantastic! I really hope I can follow your lead and lose some weight, i desperately need to. What was the biggest thing that helped you succeed?
I can understand how you would feel the way you do.
Look at you Tiffani. Lookin’ all hot and shit.
Those bangs look very interesting.