(dress: Target, tights & socks: Vera Wang for Kohls, boots: Target [similar], sweater: Kohls, belt: Old Navy, necklace: The Tiny Shop, dog: Blue, our rat terrier)
Secret: I have lost over 30 pounds in the past five months. But I don’t feel any different. Truly, I don’t remember that I weigh less and when I look in the mirror, I don’t see much change. But when I put my clothes on, I remember. Or when I have to clean out my closet because everything is too big, then I remember.
But on a daily basis, it’s not at the forefront of my mind. And I kind of thought it would be.
I thought once I was thinner, things would be different and better and more beautiful and wonderful and…okay, maybe I’m getting a little carried away, but I thought things would be different.
And really, they’re not. I still do the same things as before. I still have the same stress, same problems, same fights. I still have the same friends, the same life. I think there was a part of me that thought being thinner would make me special or better or great.
It’s funny the things you think when you’re not happy with your appearance.
But I’m still the exact same inside: good and bad, it’s still all there.
Yes, I’m healthier and blah blah blah. I don’t want to gain the weight back, but it’s just not what I thought it would be either. Maybe I wanted unrelated things to change when I shed some pounds. Truly, I don’t know what I thought.
But here’s something fun–before and after pictures. That’s when I see my progress.
Also, I see that I probably shouldn’t have been wearing that dress last winter.
And I’m really glad I’m letting my bangs grow out.
That pretty much happens every time I stumble upon my old outfit photos–I realize how bad I truly looked and why didn’t anyone say anything? It’s embarrassing and I really would like to take all the old photos down but I think that does a disservice to my journey and also you, my reader.
Because I don’t always post pretty stuff. Because sometimes life isn’t pretty. And I’m not just talking about pictures and looks. I’m talking about life being ugly and messy and sometimes it just sucks. So me getting rid of all of that and only sharing what I think will look good for others is dangerous.
So I’m leaving the embarrassing stuff up for the sake of my journey but let it be known that I’m not happy about it. (I smiled as I typed that, so don’t worry, I’m not bitter…)
1. I’ve lost some weight, it doesn’t feel like I thought it would, but it’s still pretty great.
2. Sometimes I wear clothes that I think look okay, but later realize they were not.
3. Bangs are not always the right answer.
What about you? Have you learned any good lessons lately? Share your wisdom please…