The restaurant I worked at happened to be ten minutes from my high school so it was often filled with people I knew. One night a surly truck driver came in for a steakburger and didn’t like that I was spending my time at a table where some classmates were and not standing by the window waiting for his food to come up. He let me know about his unhappiness by threatening to run me over with his truck when I left work for the evening.

Needless to say, he didn’t leave me a very good tip.

After my two-year stint as a waitress, I moved on to the glamour job of party hostess at a local entertainment establishment (think Chuck E. Cheese only bigger and with go-karts, mini-golf, etc.). I had way too much fun working there, met more unsavory people (some of whom I’m still friends with), and caused a bit of trouble.

My high school jobs were great.

You know where I never worked? Best Buy. Or Wal-Mart.

But from the outfit above, you’d think I did (or do, currently). Looks can be deceiving, friends.

I actually wore this outfit to match my co-workers at work the other day. It was spirit week (getting everyone pumped to pass standardized testing!!) and my team decided to take twin day to the next level and five of us looked our TV-selling best in blue shirts and khaki pants. This is a yearly occurence. Once when I was pregnant, my team came dressed as me with pillow bellies and all.

It was precious.

You know what’s not precious, but I’m going to show you anyway? The ISTEP preperation video my team made to “encourage” kids to do their best on the test. ISTEP is our state’s standardized test that makes or breaks teachers, schools, paychecks, and school districts. Notice I didn’t say students. The results don’t affect them much. They go on to the next grade whether they pass or fail. Sounds flawless, right?!

Oooh, sorry, I get a little riled up when it comes to state testing.

So our team had to make a video to be shown during the morning announcements to pump kids up for the big test. We used popular YouTube videos as inspiration (see: Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That and Honey Badger) and then created a news broadcast with past generations and why they didn’t do well on the test. It is embarrassing and hilarious. Also, my job was to be a 80’s Valley Girl which is why I’m so annoying in this video.

I guess this is my answer to my brother requesting a vlog. A completely inaccurate picture of me in a pretend voice acting completely annoying. I’m sure to turn off at least 20 people.

So view with caution…

Embarrassing ISTEP video.

And that’s why I don’t vlog.