My children hate to have their nails trimmed.
It’s traumatic and chaotic and any other adjective that ends in -tic that means not going well.
Ellie cries the whole time. Harper has to be physically restrained by Chris while I do the dirty work. Most of the time it’s funny and entertaining how hard those two fight against a nail trim. Occasionally it’s annoying and frustrating.
But what I love is their fight.
My children are fighters.
And not in the physical sense where they want to be violent (although they do like to hit each other when they think we are not watching), but in a way that makes them never give up. They are persistent and focused and driven.
When Elliott was about six months old and her personality was just beginning to really show itself, I mentioned to a group of my colleagues about her stubborness and it being a battle. One of our seasoned counselors who is just the wisest of wise said that trait could be a blessing or a curse depending on how I looked at it.
That conversation has stuck with me.
I want to look at my children–all parts of them–as blessings as opposed to something I have to live through. Their strong will is from me and while I’m sure we will have battles (hello, teenage years), I want to never forget that who they are and what they are becoming is a good thing.
The traits that they have are from God–and I can help nuture them and make them great and benefit His kingdom or I can try to squash and control them, try to “fix them” in my eyes.
I really don’t want to feel like I have to fix them.
Margaret Thatcher once said “Power is like being a lady…if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” I want my daughters to know they hold such power, determination, resolve and focus, but that picking your battles is part of that power.
I’m learning a lot about power right now. What it means and what it doesn’t. What it can control and what it can’t. And how power can hurt or help.
My prayer right now is that my husband and I can mold and encourage our children in all their strong willed spunkiness. That we can help them use their powers for good instead of evil. That they will be world changers and know the power they hold—and use it wisely.