(dress, sweater, & wedges: Old Navy, necklace: Forever 21)
We’re all friends here, right?
So I can share about poop and no one will completely die? Because I’m going to. Turn away now if this is something you can’t handle. I shared some dressy pictures today and that can be enough for some of you. I promise, it’s going to get weird so it’s best you just go now.
Okay, good, it’s only the weirdos left. My kind of people, really. Today I’m going to share a gross story and some people won’t be able to handle it.
First up: teachers don’t get paid enough money. You’ve heard people say that before, right? We have to be parents, counselors, disciplinarians, nurses, mentors, coaches, entertainers, secretaries, receptionists, as well as a bunch of other jobs I didn’t learn about in college. Oh, and teach. I have to teach, too.
Because I chose to teach, I’ve lost range of motion in my right thumb from breaking up a fight. I sleep-yell at my husband about being in the wrong seat and not taking his test correctly in the middle of the night. But the worst thing that I’ve ever experienced was a few weeks ago during my lunch break. As I was exiting the bathroom, one of my students busted through the door with her hand over her mouth, throwing up. I immediately got hit with throw up and as I was trying to hold the door for her to come in (and screaming “get to the toilet!“), she rushed past me with what I thought was throw up coming out the back of her shorts.
Oh, you see where this is going?
Because I didn’t.
I was so shocked at getting throw up on me that my mind didn’t register that what was coming out of her pants and sliding down her legs AND SPLASHING ON ME wasn’t throw up. It wasn’t until I had left the bathroom and was trying to tell the nurse what happened that my brain caught up with the images and I realized she was shitting her pants and I had shit on me and I was going to die.
Teachers don’t get paid enough.
And have a great Friday.
OH. MY. GOD.
Oh my holy freakin’ word! (Insert pause of disbelief and attempts to clear the mental picture just created) You are so right….not paid NEAR enough! God bless your soul!
Oh my holy freakin’ word! (Insert pause of disbelief and attempts to clear the mental picture just created) You are right…teachers do not make NEAR enough. God bless your soul….
no they do not! I got chairs thrown at me by a 3 year old who had a strong arm and great aim. Got the shit kicked out of me when I was recovering from surgery by an angry 4 year old. But I still love it!
Thank God for teachers because I could never. NEVER.
I do have to say that I have been pooped on many times. However, given my profession, it’s really not a surprise. I’m sorry you had to endure such a horrific event. I always had a spare pair of scrubs in my work locker, maybe you need a backup maxi skirt in your desk drawer.
this is the most terrifying story I’ve ever heard. EVER.
I have never been popped on. I’ve witnessed 2 desperate boys poop themselves in class. People really have NO idea what can and does happen in the bathroom
I feel worse for the girl. Sorry, Mare. Glad you could be there for her to blow chunk and shit on. Uhhh, I mean, I’m glad you were there to comfort and help her through the tough time. I hope you guys still keep in touch.