I’m pretty much a bad friend.

I only remember to water my plants when they start looking droopy.

I try to water them every Sunday, when we’re home and being lazy, but I just don’t think about it. And the next thing I know, their leaves are sagging and I’m a few days away from dead plants.

So I drowned them with water and hope for the best.

They normally pull through.

Occasionally, they don’t.

I would say this tactic, this forget-until-the-last-moment-and-hope-for-the-best thing I do, is my modus operandi. I neglect things until it’s almost too late to fix them and then come on strong and hope everything survives.

I’m really good under pressure, most creative with a time crunch, and insanely productive when I should already be done with the task (eh, like most people, right?).

This is both a blessing and a curse.

Sometimes I neglect relationships I hold dear until they’re hanging on by a thread and I have to do damage control. I am not a good friend. I’m good in a crisis, I’m good when someone needs backup or emergency dinner, I’m great at encouraging texts and prayers. But I’m not good in the lull, in the day-to-day business, in the sharing of unimportant things and trivial life issues that aren’t big, but to a good friend, they’re what a friendship is built on.

bad friend0

Friendship was easy when I was still in school. I was forced to be around people, friends, all the time, so socializing, making plans, asking about life, was easier. I didn’t have to go out of my way or make much of an effort.

But now, as an adult, I have to reach out, I have to remember to text or call. And most of the time I don’t.

I’m pretty much a bad friend.

Part of my nature is isolation. I love spending time by myself, love staying home and reading a book, love to sit at a computer and write. But life isn’t happening during most of those moments. Life is with with people. And, ironically, I don’t have much to write about if I’m not out living.

bad friend

This year I’m running toward others: running to relationships, running to late night conversations, running to life with others. It’s hard for me and very intentional. Sometimes it’s exhausting. But I’m seeing growth, seeing progress, seeing better, so I’m going to keep plugging along, keep reaching out, keep making myself uncomfortable.

What are you doing this year to stretch yourself? Any growing pains lately?

 

Comments

  1. says

    Keep plugging along as I think your such an inspiration! I’ve grown a ton in the past few months and found out what true friendship and relationships are all about. I find your words encouraging, uplifting, and almost like you’ve picked them out of my head. RUN MARY RUN!!

    • mary says

      Thanks, Heather! I sometimes just wish I could do all the things well and I know that’s not reasonable. But my friends are truly important to me and I need to remember that. It’s so worth it. Thanks for being my friend.:)

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