Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall back into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.                Deuteronomy 6:6-9

For a long time when someone would call me a Christian writer, I would correct them and say that actually I’m just a writer that is a Christian, not a Christian writer. Like there was a difference and it needed to be noted.

I was such an ass.

The thing about being a Christian is I am a Christian all the time whether I acknowledge it or not. It doesn’t come and go based on what I am doing or not doing. It doesn’t shine brighter on some days and dull on others. Being a Christ-follower is the lens through which I see everything so even if I’m not talking about Jesus or my faith, I’m still writing from the new eyes I have through Christ. For a long time, I couldn’t really understand that. I didn’t want to be boxed in as Christian blogger or a Christian writer or just a Christian. It was some kind of badge that I didn’t want to wear because it didn’t seem cool or convenient or fitting all the time.

But.

The past year, God has been working on my heart, calling me again and again to share my faith, my story, and his redeeming love. And I’ve fought it more than I’d like to admit. I don’t want to be Jesus all the time on my blog. I don’t want to be that girl. That’s something I’ve struggled with most of my life and it doesn’t seem to be getting easier as I get older.

Yay for consistency.

But when I started sharing more about who I was in Christ, listening (just a tiny bit) to what he was telling me in the quiet of my heart and in the dark before I fell asleep, he made it known almost immediately that he would bless me in more ways than I could have ever imagined. All I had to do was obey him.

And even now I still fight it.

Yesterday I was walking to my office to do my devotion and I thought to myself I wonder what God has for me today. And then he gave me the verse above and I kind of told him to shut up in my head. Not out loud, of course, because if you don’t have anything nice to say than you shouldn’t say anything at all. But I’m pretty sure he still heard and I know he has a sense of humor because he made me and have you ever met me?

Then he made me read those verses again. And again. And again. It was like he wanted to hit me over the head with them but was trying to restrain himself. It’s nice of him to be gentle when I’m being stubborn. (Also known as ALL OF THE TIME.)

I know I’m a Christian blogger and a Christian writer and a Christian. I know God has plans for me in those roles and I know he has dreamed up bigger things than I could have ever imagine. Bigger than the secret, heart dreams you don’t tell anyone. Because he’s surprised me with some crazy stuff recently. And I know I have to stop fighting that I’m his daughter and that he wants to take care of me. I have to keep telling myself that that is not a weakness or a flaw, that it’s actually comforting and safe and better than any other place to be. I know he wants me to share my stories and he wants you to do that too–maybe not in the same way, but definitely some way–he wants us to talk about what he’s doing in our lives, share our struggles and triumphs, and encourage each other along in our journeys. He wants us to share these things with our friends, our families, our kids.

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall back into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.                  Deuteronomy 6:6-9

My prayer this week: to remember to tie God’s commandments and promises to my hands and forehead, so that everything I do and think and say is a reflection of him and his spirit in me.