Having a blog is funny.
I don’t like talking about my blog in real life, I think it’s weird. I don’t know why this is, but if we met, the last topic I’d bring up is my online writing life. I understand this makes no sense and accept it.
I also don’t like writing about writing. I don’t enjoy writing about blogging. Even though that would probably be helpful and people are curious, I think there are much better people already doing that well so I stay away from it. I also spend my days teaching high school kids how to write and that might be part of my dislike about doing it here.
I don’t really know. I AM SO COMPLEX AND DEEP–I HAVEN’T FIGURED EVERYTHING OUT YET.
Anyway, that’s a not-great introduction to telling you how people find this blog. Of course, there’s the social media sharing (thanks, Facebook) and the word-of-mouth sharing (thanks, Mom), but a lot of people end up here, at TrustyChucks.com, by the good ole’ web search. And when they do, it’s always entertaining.
I host my blog on WordPress and one option I have in my back office (where I type these AMAZING posts) is an option to view my site stats. Site stats are weird. Some months I can have thousands and thousands of people visit my blog. One day a few years ago, I topped 350,000 visits in one day. Other times (like when I’m not writing much and not actively promoting myself on all the social media places), I can see less than 100 visitors in a day. It all depends on how hard I want to work (not really hard, actually) and what the internet gods like that day.
My favorite part of the site stats is the “web search results” area. Professional blog people would tell you to analyze those, use keywords to attract more people through Google searches, and capitalize on the traffic. I, on the other hand, use the results solely for entertainment purposes.
And when I find something funny, I want to tell others, so I’m sharing some of my web search results here. GET READY TO GIGGLE.
What if my husband is not my soul mate
I’m starting with the highest search result. Without a doubt, thousands of people come to my blog to get information about their soul mates. Soul mate talk is big business. Soul mate worries consume a lot of people. My soul mate post still pisses off multiple people every day. I’m not really going to talk about it again (it’s like beating a dead horse), but that sucker still ropes in the readers. (And then makes most of them leave because my answer isn’t what they want to hear.)
Also related: how to flip his soul mate switch, when your soul mate doesn’t want to label your relationship status, signs of a husband not a husband (WHAT??), why is Victoria saying David is not her soul mate?, lustful gazes mistake for soul mate (you gotta be careful with those lustful gazes, people)
How to dress up camo shits
Ahh, dressing up the shits. I struggled with this for so long, but finally mastered it just recently. Just kidding. This is most likely a typo and should be “shirts” but I really enjoy that someone Googled shit and found my blog. My mom would be so proud. Also, if you’ve been around here long enough, you’ll remember I used to do a lot of fashion and what-I-wore posts. I’m glad I got that out of my system.
Also related: how can I wear a camo shirt on my birthday? (Answer: however you want, girl.)
Loud prayer for a sick friend
The louder you pray, the more likely God is to answer your prayers. I normally scream mine.
Brandon Knauss recovery and Is Brandon Knauss married
I had to do a web search to find out who Brandon Knauss is and apparently he’s a drug-addiction specialist with his mom. They’re a team often featured on Dr. Phil. I can’t even begin to tell you why his name leads you to my blog. Maybe I should make a page answering Brandon Knauss questions because this has happened many, many times. And now I want to know if he’s married too. You know, just in case.
Books with southern charm and happy ending
Don’t we all just want a happy ending??
I have done something that no one has done
No, wait. That was me. I did the thing no one else has done before. Back up.
Teachers be like sure I’ll help you
This makes me laugh. I don’t even know why someone would search this on the internet, but as a teacher it makes my eyes roll so hard. I have no doubt this kid just wanted the answers to whatever they were working on and when the teacher made them work through the problem and THINK, they got mad and decided teachers never help. Obviously, this has *never* happened to me before.
Runners peeing pants
Still very proud of my pee-your-pants running story, thank you very much.
A beautiful story
This + a happy ending = life goals
Trusted chucks and chuck’s blog and trudy chucks and Mary Graham tiny chucks
My blog’s name is super confusing for so many people. The story’s here if you’ve never read it before. Ahhh, tiny chucks…
Also related: blogs named I got soul written by kenneth (My secret pen name is Kenneth so this makes sense to me.)
Write an emaginary story of no less than ten sentences
SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO CHEAT ON THEIR HOMEWORK WITH MY BLOG! Also, they don’t know how to spell words and also CHEATING IS WRONG.
Hi. You have dialed the wrong number, but while you’re here, can I tell you about Jesus?
I don’t actually even know. I imagine there are about 400,000 websites that come up before mine when you Google “mastodon bones” so good work on not giving up, I guess.
Wife mating husband friend
Ahhhh, the mating rituals of wives, husbands, and friends. So confusing. So messy. So not-this-blog.
I don’t want to be uptight
*SIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH* Neither do I. Tell me how to make it stop.
Solution: buy a camper.
Chubby girls in boots
Again, I used to blog my outfits. Heh.
Chateau en palette
Oui. Oui. (That’s all the French I know, sorry.)
How to wave, bow, and curtsy like a princess
My body isn’t delicious
At first, I typed a funny, lighthearted answer but then I imagined this was a young girl who is just really confused with what she’s supposed to think about her body because we live in a messed up world full of the wrong messages. Then I got sad and mad and I wanted her to know “delicious” isn’t what we want our bodies to be, but I understand why you think that’s the goal. I’m sorry, sweet girl, that we’ve created that reality for you.
Well, that got serious fast. Sorry about that.
Let me bring it back to ridiculous real quick. One last search term someone used to find my blog: “playground pooping.”
Hey, it happens to the best of us.
How about you? How did you find my blog? Did one of my family members bully you into it? Did we go to high school together? Are you one of my students? TELL ME.