I never envisioned myself a podcaster, but here we are.
Wait, did I tell you I’m co-hosting a podcast with my friend Jess?
If you got my Monday Business Meeting emails you would know this. This isn’t to shame you, but if you’re not subscribed, really, what are you doing with your life?
Anyway, here’s what I wanted to tell you, and I felt it was important enough to write a short post about it: episode 4 of the Not Terrible podcast launches today, and it’s about addiction and alcoholism and marriage and what the past few years have been like for the Graham marriage.
I’ve written about that story for a while. I’ve shared lots of things in hopes of pointing to Jesus in the mess and the rebuilding—however that was going to look. But there are lots of parts you still haven’t heard. Some will be in the book (SUSPENSE!), and some are in the podcast today.
Writing my story is one thing. I get to edit, re-write, delete, and sit with my words for weeks or months or forever before publishing them for you to read.
Speaking them on a podcast is completely different. I don’t have the luxury of a well-crafted sentence or the delete button. Yes, we can (and do) edit the episodes before you hear them, but it’s still different. Scarier. Harder. Better. Worse.
I still struggle with parts of the story I’m living. You’ll hear me talk about some of that in the episode, but you’ll also hear me say there are some parts I can’t share yet. God is still writing new chapters, pruning and reshaping our lives even now.
Today Chris Graham has been sober 284 days. Over nine months without a drink. Over nine months facing fears, feeling emotions, saying difficult things. It is slow, exhausting work. It is good and worth every ounce of energy he’s giving it.
Would you listen to the podcast today? Would you pray for my husband, for my marriage, for the rebuilding?
Chris hasn’t listened to this episode. He’s not sure he will, and I’m not going to push him. The farther away he gets from the past few years and the drinking, the harder it is to stomach how he lived, what he did, and the choices he made. Shame and guilt are dangerous tools of the devil if you’re not watching out for them. So while Chris is okay with sharing our story, he doesn’t always want to hear it again. He lived it. He barely survived. He’s doing better now.
That’s enough for him.
**You can listen (and subscribe!) to the Not Terrible podcast on iTunes or this link. We’re still working on getting it uploaded onto other podcast apps so non-iPhone users can listen, but for now, if you go to that link and you don’t have an Apple product, you can listen through any computer.
Photography by Huff Photography
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