Mary Graham

Trusty Chucks Blog

National Infertility Awareness Week + A Royal Daughter guest post

Today I am honored to have the beautiful (inside and out) Amanda from A Royal Daughter visiting. She’s sharing some pretty powerful stuff that’s on her heart and I know, from experience, that so many people will relate to her and her struggle. Make sure you stop by her blog today and show her some love and encouragement.
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Hi there, have we met before? If not, let me introduce myself:

I am a country-living, ice tea drinking, good book reading, farming, ranching, Jesus-loving, curly-headed wife of a seminary professor.   He’s a teacher, I’m a writer. He’s a thinker, I’m a creative. Together we make our home on a small farm in Texas.

I had the complete joy and honor of meeting Mary last October at the Influence Conference. She has such a sweet spirit, and I loved having the opportunity to brainstorm with her about her blog design. She’s a treasure, and she’s graciously offered to let me take over her online space today. Thank you Mary for your virtual – albeit very real – hospitality.

Carly, Mary, Me, and Brittany. Mary’s the only non-Texan in the picture. And her fabulously comfy outfit may have inspired me to purchase some mustard pants to pair with a chambray top. Talk about copycat fashion!

I’m here today for a very specific purpose. April 21-27 is National Infertility Awareness Week, and as a woman deep in the thick of battling barrenness, I am trying to make the most of this painful journey by spreading awareness about infertility.

A few facts about infertility:

  • Approximately 1 in 6 couples in the United States are diagnosed with some degree of infertility each year.

  • “Infertility” is defined as the inability to conceive a child after one year of unprotected, well-timed intercourse for women under the age of 35. Women 35 and older may be diagnosed after 6 months of unprotected, well-timed intercourse without conception. (The inability to sustain a pregnancy beyond 20 weeks is also classified as “infertility.”)

  • 30% of infertility is the result of an ovulatatory dysfunction (i.e. there is a problem with the woman’s ovulation cycle).

  • 30% of infertility is the result of a problem with the man (i.e. sperm structure or production).

  • Women who face infertility often describe their situation as “lonely,” “isolating,” and “painful.”

  • There is a large spectrum of treatments for infertility, with varying degrees of invasiveness and cost.

    • My story:

  • My husband and I started trying for a baby almost 4 years.

  • We were officially diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” in February 2012 (the same month our foster boys were removed from our home). 

  • We have tried various therapies and treatments, from “alternative” therapies to traditional western medical treatments, including Intrauterine Insemination (IUI).

  • In September 2012 we embraced a gluten-free diet, as gluten intolerance is closely tied to infertility. 

  • We’ve experienced the pain and frustration of two failed IUIs.

  • Until last November my husband and I kept our struggle to ourselves. We were completely unwilling to share our story, and to some extent we were unwilling to accept our diagnosis.

    • National Infertility Awareness Week:
    This week on my blog, I will be dedicating the entire week to spreading awareness about infertility, offering encouragement for those battling the pain of barrenness, and providing resources for friends and family of those facing infertility. Topics will include:

  • Ideas for stepping up out of the pit of infertility and transforming negative emotions and energies into productive, worthwhile activities.

  • Collaborative efforts from women currently battling infertility, and how they overcame common lies women believe about being barren.

  • Online and print resources for those battling infertility as well as those who want to come alongside and encourage and support their infertile friends and family members.

  • How to encourage and support your infertile friends.

  • Owning your infertility + embracing the waiting period.

  • Collaborative efforts from women who have made it through to the other side of infertility straight to the hearts of those currently navigating the muddy waters of barrenness.

  • Infertility from the husband’s perspective.

    • There will also be a giveaway during the week with items I’ve hand-picked to offer hope and encouragement to those battling infertility. My goal is to offer encouragement and inspiration not only to those currently facing the isolation and frustration of infertility, but for those who wonder how they can minister to their friends who are facing infertility.

    I hope you’ll join us, and help spread awareness about infertility. It is an isolating journey, but it doesn’t have to be.

    You can connect with me at my website, on twitter, facebook, and instagram. I’m also on pinterest and google. However you decide to connect with me, please take time to introduce yourself!

    the tattoo project and Africa

    Blogging. It’s such a funny word and fickle thing. But it comes with great responsibility, too. I can use this platform I have to tear down or build up. And today I’m hoping there’s a lot of building up: of people, of money, of prayers, and of encouragement. Let me introduce you to Carly…

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    Hi guys! My name is Carly and I’m the blogger behind Texas Lovebirds. You might recognize me from Copycat Linkup, which I co-host each week with Mary. I’m a 7th grade Language Arts teacher turned SAHM to my son, Gunner. I love Dr. Pepper, reading, bad reality television, baby cuddles, and big bowls of cereal for dinner. At Texas Lovebirds, you’ll find my thoughts on faith, motherhood, fashion, and whatever else crosses my mind. 

    I’m so grateful that Mary is letting me take over her space today. What I’m sharing today is no small matter. It’s not an easy DIY or a 30 minute meal, although those things are pretty awesome. What I’m sharing today is a calling, a calling to take care of the orphans.

    Did you know that 8 out ofevery 10 children who have lost parents to HIV/AIDS live in sub-Saharan Africa? In the sub-Saharan region there are more than 34 million orphans, 11 million of them have been orphaned by HIV/AIDS. In fact, the number of orphans in sub-Saharan Africa would be declining were it not for HIV/AIDS. But because of the disease’s spread, the number of orphans is increasing exponentially. In sub-Saharan Africa, 12% of all children are orphans, compared with 6.5% in Asia and 5% in Latin America and the Caribbean (all statistics via UNICEF).

     

    As a mother who feels called to international adoption (read more here), those stats are heartbreaking. I want to do something about it. And as a Christian, there is no doubt in my mind that we must do something about it. In fact, James 1:27 makes a Christian’s role in orphan care pretty clear…it reads, “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you.”

    So, I decided to do something about it. And so came the idea of “The Tattoo Project.”

    My goal is to raise $1,000 during the month of January. $1,000 provides for FOUR orphans for one year. The money will help provide safe housing, protection, food, education, spiritual direction, medical
    attention and vocational training.


    And what will I do when the funds are raised? I’ll get that BIG tattoo I’ve always wanted. The tattoo I’ve always made excuses to not get. This project is now the motivation, the meaning behind that tattoo.


    All donated funds will be directed to Mocha Club, a non-profit organization who is helping to rehabilitate the people of Africa in so many ways. If you’d like to read more specifics on how Mocha Club is taking care of the orphans, you can read about that here. They are doing some awesome work, and I am so excited to be a part. 

    Today, I can excitedly tell you that almost three weeks into The Tattoo Project, $610 has been raised! That means TWO orphans are being provided for for ONE year. But, there’s still work to do. There is still $390 to go until we reach our goal. There are still two orphans out there waiting for our help. 

    You can help in two major ways…

    1) SHARE! I’d love for you to blog, Tweet, Facebook, Instagram about this project and get the word out there! Share it with your friends, your family, your town. We need your help.

    2) Today, I would love for you to prayerfully consider donating to The Tattoo Project. Every single bit helps, every single bit counts. All donations are tax deductible. 


    Please know that your donation will go to these children, it will not, in any way, go toward the purchase of my tattoo. 

    Again thank you to Mary for letting me take over her space, and thank you for letting me share my heart and my project!

    Let me know if you stop by the blog. I’d love to say hello!

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    about offering grace

    The thing about grace, for me, is that I’m good at accepting it but bad at giving it.

    And God, in all his infinite wisdom, uses our weaknesses to remake us in His image.

    But dang, does it hurt…

    I’m contributing to the Living Out His Love series on Marie Osborne’s blog today–hop over there and finish reading my post.  (My comments are off so make sure you leave one on Marie’s blog.)

    ::why you should go pro:: guest post by kaitlyn meeks

    You know those people in your life who are just so talented and cool?  My friend, Kaitlyn, is one of those people.  If I could go back ten years, I’d be less alcoholic-hoochie-mama and more Kaitlyn.  But hindsight is 20/20.  I also wouldn’t have gotten my belly button pierced (gross) or dated most of the guys I did, but that’s beside the point.  Back to Kaitlyn, she’s been taking our family photos since Ellie was born and I treasure them so much.  She just has a way with the camera.  She also has a way with words and you get the pleasure of checking those out below.  Enjoy!

    Hello Trusty Chuck-ers. I heard your fearless leader was taking a hiatus for a week, so I jumped on the opportunity to invade the Trusty Chucks pages. My name is Kaitlyn Meeks (Kaitlyn Meeks Photography) and I am an amateur-turned-professional photographer. I started photographing friends and families about six years ago as a hobby and creative outlet. Today I photograph everything from family portraits, t-shirt designs, baby births, senior portraits, and my personal favorite…weddings!

    I spend a fair amount of my day sifting through photographs, thinking about wedding designs, and perusing my favorite wedding blog (Green Wedding Shoes). To say I am obsessed might be an understatement. You see, if I dare call myself a “professional” in this field, it will be because I have invested each day in growing my understanding of this art form. When I photograph a wedding day, I want to connect with each and every bride in an incredibly unique way.

    I am a social work student entering into my first year of grad school in August. In my classes and training, I have learned the importance of creating a comfortable environment for your client so that they are able to feel open and honest. I follow this same concept in my photography. I desire to make my bride and groom feel so comfortable with me that they are able to express their raw and genuine emotion in front of the camera.

    I mean, let’s be honest, we all love to have our photograph taken. I’m actually convinced we ALL like it….even those of you who hide your face behind trees and hair and babies to avoid the lens…I KNOW you secretly like it. BUT this isn’t to say that the camera won’t trigger awkward tension. Therefore, it is my goal at each and every shoot to make my clients feel extremely comfortable. In return, we are rewarded with lots of cute cuddly photographs that capture the true emotion of the day.

    There are many advantages to choosing a professional photographer.  I know some of you would argue against that statement, but let me explain by responding to some of the most popular excuses.


    I have a friend with a fancy camera who can take sweet pics.


    My dear friend, I know a girl with a fancy, beautiful ring, but that doesn’t mean I want her to make a ring for me. You see, just because someone holds a fancy camera doesn’t mean they know what they are doing. 1% of the work is clicking a button, 9% of the work is in saying “smile”, 40% of the work is in knowing your camera and all its features, and the other 50% is in post-production. So to this person I will say, tell your friend to bring their fancy camera to your wedding, but hire a professional to do all the work. This way you can get the best of both worlds!

    2012 06 27 023 639x1024 Boy Howdy. I went Viral. { Findlay Fostoria Ohio Portrait Photographer }

    I don’t have enough money in our budget for a professional.

    I do understand the importance of a strict and unforgiving budget, but is the $300 projector really worth it? Or the $2000 DJ? I think these are valuable aspects to a wedding and if you have a large enough budget to afford these parts…spend away! But if you are running on a smaller budget and want to make the most of your day, I suggest investing in DIY projects and an iPod DJ with some speakers borrowed from a friend. This way you can take the money you saved and invest in a professional photographer. I know a handful of extremely good photographers that work in the $1000 to $2000 price range. Preserving the memories of your priceless day is worth the money.

    I don’t know where to look.

    I have found that most business I receive is via word of mouth. This person was at the wedding of her cousin who met the mother of the best man who had me photograph his wedding six months ago. It’s amazing how we spread information! Simply start asking around. Ask the bride in your newsfeed on Facebook, ask fellow Trusty Chucks readers, ask me! Don’t let finding a photographer for your special day become a burden, but rather shop around and ask as many questions as you can!  This should be one of the most fun parts of your day, it will surprise you how much time you spend with your photographer.  Make sure you pick someone worth spending time with.

    Hiring a professional photographer is an important aspect of your big day. Aside from the vows, the rings, the hot man standing at the end of the aisle, and the smokin’ dress you handpicked, the photographer will make or break your experience. Spend time researching the right fit for you because it’s worth it.

     
     

    on doing it all.

    You know those cute mothers that have it all together, make dinner every night, have a perfect marriage, and never sweat?

    Me neither.

    But I beat myself up at least once a day for not being that mom. That person that I don’t know. That person that, if I met in real life, I’d probably just want to run over with my car.

    So it makes no sense that I compare myself to this mythical person that doesn’t exist and I wouldn’t like even if she did exist. But I do. All.the.time.

    To finish this post, head over to Our Reflection.  I’m guest blogging over there today…and giving some stuff away! So come say hi!

    Our Reflection

    guest post: At Christmas, let’s be real

    I am more than excited to introduce you to my friend and fellow blogger, Lori from A Little Bit French.  I would like to be all fancy blogger person and say that blogging has introduced me to this awesome lady and her beautiful way of telling a story, but I’ve actually known Lori since I was six.  She was one of my first best friends and the person that introduced me to the glorious movie that is Dirty Dancing.  The way she weaves history, family, her present, and her past into one story is poignant and I hope you enjoy her as much as I do. 

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    A real Christmas tree is a thing of great beauty. Usually grown on a small farm, a Christmas tree requires years of dedication, hard work, knowledge, and skill. A Christmas tree farm provides a habitat for wildlife, and when the trees are harvested, farmers usually re-plant. Then, when the holiday season comes to an end, a real tree can be recycled on the compost pile, or chopped up and used for mulch.

    Artificial trees, manufactured from toxic, non-biodegradable polyvinyl chloride (PVC), will litter our landfills long after we’re gone. The artificial tree represents the commercialization of Christmas, the process through which our treasured holiday symbols are stolen from us, mass produced in China, and sold back to us for a handsome profit.
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    We always were a real tree family. When I was a kid, we made the pilgrimage to the nursery early each December, and took our time choosing the perfect tree to load up and bring home. Then, in 1991, when I was eight years old, my dad decided to grow some himself. He placed his order for 1000 saplings, and when the tiny trees arrived early that spring, I could hardly believe that in just a few years, some of them would be 6 feet tall.

    In the early 90’s, I helped out with the maintenance – mostly mowing and pruning. As I entered The Terrible Teens, I lost interest in the farm. But, as an awkward 12-year-old, I grew attached to one particular tree, one that experienced some unfortunate growing pains. This poor tree never did make it into someone’s home to be decorated and adored. In fact, it’s still growing on the farm today, and since it has not been pruned for many years, it’s free to grow wild and unkempt. It’s possible that my dad left it there because he knew how much I liked it. It’s more likely, though, that he knew nobody would buy it.

    We don’t grow Christmas trees on our farm anymore, but I’m grateful that we once did. They taught me the value in cultivating the fine art of patience, an art that seems to be vanishing. The long process of growing a Christmas tree reminds me of the days when we used to take the film out of our cameras, drive to the store and wait – not just an hour, but days for it to be sent off, developed, and sent back. Digital photography is certainly more convenient, but sometimes I yearn for that old anticipation of waiting for my treasured memories to be developed.

    Now, not only are our photos instant, but our mail is instant, our coffee is instant, our mashed potatoes are instant. Our whole society seems to be in a great race, not to make things better and safer, but to make things faster and cheaper. In all this convenience, something surely has been lost.

    For a generation born after the Internet, a generation that may only know immediate gratification, a real tree is a rare opportunity to step outside, breathe in some cold winter air, and participate in an unhurried holiday tradition that still means something. 

    guest post: ‘Tis the season

    I’m so thrilled to have my first official guest post on Trusty Chucks–woohoo!  CarrieJo from Life of the Liles is stopping by to spread some Christmas cheer and I’m honored to introduce this fun lady to you.  Through some kind of God-has-funny-plans thing, Carrie and her family have shown up in our lives everywhere in the past year or so.  And the Graham family is proud to call them friends.

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    Hi there Trusty Chucks fans, I am CarrieJo from over at Life of the Liles! (this is embarrassing since we know Mary is a Language Arts teacher, but I just realized it was not “Trusty Chicks”… ha, I should read more carefully. . . as we tell our students!) I was super excited when Mary asked me to do a Christmas guest blog for her! She is always keeping me laughing with her blog! If you know me, I can be random, so I got a bit overwhelmed by the thought of a wordy Christmas blog. . . instead I will show you some Christmas for us in pictures.

    ‘Tis the Season!
    We always start our holiday with an annual themed Christmas party with some of our closest friends. This year the theme was “Christmas Character.” Being honest, I had no idea how to pull this off without spending a lot of money and time (new baby, folks). 🙂 So I stretched it a bit and I was Natalie from Love Actually. See the resemblance, eh? (It’s ok if you don’t, no offense taken!) Todd was Old Man Marley from Home Alone. We didn’t have a shovel so I tried to convince him to carry a rake but he refused. Ha!

    Here are past years…

    We hosted a onesie party. . . even our dogs were rocking them!

    Classic ugly sweater party!
    And of course with the holidays comes the Christmas tree! For the second year in a row I have decorated the entire tree, only to find that something just wasn’t right. This year that “something” that was missing was more ribbon. Instead of buying the classic Christmas ribbon (I already had silver from last year…that was last year’s “something”), I just cut strips of burlap and tied them together. I also threw the extra burlap around the base as a skirt. I got the idea from my friend Mindy. . . thanks lady!
    We also kick off the winter season by having nightly fires in our fireplace. Nothing says holidays like a great fire!

    And speaking of fires. . . one of my favorite gifts so far this year are these fireplace sachets. A great friend of ours made them and I loved how much thought she put in to the gift knowing that we love fires…and they smell great!

     

    And speaking of gifts. . . I have made a ton of these babies this year! They are fun, inexpensive gifts. Click HERE to see my blog post on making my book wreath.

    I have also had some fun baking this year. . . I feel like I don’t normally bake a lot for the holidays but with Christmas parties and having friends over for coffee, I feel like cookies are always a must! Now, my body disagrees as I am trying to lose this baby weight! (Fun fact. . .want to know a great motivational show to watch while running on the treadmill? The Victoria Secret Runway Show…I kept my run going for 45 minutes while I realized how I totally do not look even remotely like those girls…but it was motivating!)

    These are a quick and easy holiday cookie! Bake your favorite chocolate chip cookies, spread some buttercream frosting in between, and roll in sprinkles. Taaaaddaaa, that’s it!
    Another quick and easy gift this year that I have done is homemade hot chocolate.

    I mixed nonfat dry milk, powdered sugar, Nesquik chocolate milk mix, french vanilla powdered creamer and topped the Ball jar off with some marshmallows. Yum!
    I hope you have a wonderful holiday! And I will leave you with this…

    (photo credit the fabulous Kaitlyn Meeks)

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