Tomorrow will be four years since Isabella passed away. Four years. So much has happened since then. She has a sister now (and another sibling on the way), a little cousin, and larger extended family then she’ll ever know. And it still hurts even now. It hurts less, but still hurts. In honor of her beautiful life here’s the post I wrote the day after she died.
Sunday evening at 5:45 my beautiful niece, Isabella Brooklyn, gave up her courageous fight to live and took her final breath in her mommy’s arms. What a determined little baby she was; she only lived thirty four days, but in those thirty four days she touched more lives and more people fell in love with her than most people can hope for in a lifetime.
I don’t really know what to type or what to tell about her life and her fight this past week, but I take comfort in knowing that she’s not in pain or hooked up to any machines now. And I take comfort knowing that it’s raining outside so that the world matches my insides. That was the hardest part leaving the hospital on Sunday: seeing that the world was still turning and that the hundreds of people that we passed on the interstate or at Wal-Mart didn’t know they should be sad and mourning for this little life that ended too soon. That all these people could still be laughing and breathing without pain confused me; that they never got to meet my little baby with her wild red hair that looked exactly like mine or that they never got to see her crazy thumbs that bent out the wrong way made me mad. I want the world to be sad right now for my little Isabella. And I want the world to know what they missed out by never meeting or holding that little baby.
Isabella only had thirty four days to live and breath and she made more of a difference in those short days than I have in all my twenty four years of life. And so tonight because of her, I want to be sad. And in the morning, I want to start living like I was supposed to be living all along, it just took a little 6 lb. baby and her short life for me to figure it out. But for now, just bring on the rain.
Love you always Isabella,