a vacation to reset

We had tossed around three or four vacation ideas. We knew we were going to be in a RV and we wanted to take the girls to see the beach for the first time. The rest of the details were sketchy: New Orleans to see friends? East Coast again because we love it so much? Florida?

But as my two-week break came closer, we still didn’t have specifics nailed down. We were running out of time and what were we going to do?

And then Chris made the call: nothing. We’re going to do nothing. Maybe take the girls camping a night or two. But that’s it. No rushing to make plans, no jam-packed fall break, no spending lots of money, no exhausting everyone when we’re still kind of exhausted from life.

Because things have been moving fast the past month and I’ve been busy and the kids have been busy and Chris has been working more and we’ve been home less. There hasn’t been much rest lately and it was starting to show.

I’m really focused, to the point that once I have an idea in my head, I pretty much assume it will happen or I do everything I can to make it happen. We planned to go on vacation, so we were going on vacation. I had mentioned it here and to random people, so it was already a fact, we were going on vacation (major pet peeve: when people talk about doing things all the time, but never actually do them.).

But somewhere deep down, I knew it probably shouldn’t happen. We should be saving our money or putting the extra towards student loans. We are barely hanging by a thread sleep-wise and need to rest. I’ve been missing my kids more than normal. We needed a break from our chaos, not a break that threw us into a new, different chaos.

And Chris finally said I was trying to force something that maybe wasn’t supposed to happen.

My first reaction, because I’m mature and wise, was to tell him he’s not the boss of me and this vacation is happening. But then I thought about it, really thought about it, and he was right.

We just needed a vacation to reset. To do nothing, to take our kids to the park or the zoo, to see a movie as a family for the first time. To take a nap with my daughters. To grocery shop and finally remember to get everything we need (that didn’t actually happen, but I’m feeling inspired so I’m going with it). To have lunch with my grandparents. To watch The Little Mermaid fifteen times. To clean out closets and drawers, shelves and under the bed. To make muffins, a cake, and big messes.

To rest.

I got to read books over my vacation, staying up late into the night surrounded by pillows and loads of blankets. I got to write things I’ve been storing up inside of me that were just waiting to come out. I got to watch television and listen to music loud. I got to bake and cook and see friends and laugh. I got to shop (by myself!) and ride my bike. The weather finally turned cold and I got to wear sweaters and thick socks.

I had the greatest vacation.

And my wish is that everyone could have a vacation like mine; where you don’t go anywhere, but you feel so alive and so refreshed that it doesn’t matter. Because that’s really the point of a vacation, anyway.