as much as he loves me

It started while we were on vacation; we were getting ready for bed and Chris was flipping through the channels and landed on the local news. It was, of course, full of horrible events, heartbreaking crimes, and death. Once again, I was reminded why I don’t want the news.

After one especially horrific story, I responded with an audible “ugh” and turned back to my book. But before I could start reading, a thought popped into my head:

God loves that guy just as much as he love me.

Then I just sat there. And sat there.

God loves that criminal on the news just as much as he loves me.

I didn’t really like that idea. I mean, in my head I understand that God loves us all equally, that we’re all his beloved creatures, but getting that into my heart is a different story. I can’t imagine God loving the child molester I just saw on the news as much as he loves me. I’m a public school teacher! I read my Bible almost every day! I tithe! God has to love me more!

And while I know that is completely wrong theology, it’s still hard to admit. Because somewhere in my completely warped brain, I believe God should love some people less. The bad ones-the really bad ones–shouldn’t have the same love and grace that I get.

God and I are still working through this miscommunication.

In the mean time, I’m paying more attention to news stories and repeating over and over again in my head: God loves him just as much as me. God loves her just as much as me. God loves them just as much as me. It’s almost like a chant, this constant reminder that we are all loved and cherished creations of a Holy God. I didn’t do anything to earn his love and I can’t do anything to lose it, either.

But somewhere in the back of my head, I still think there are some people that don’t deserve it as much as I do. I know what that says of me and I cringe when I think about it, but there must be a part of me that has major pride issues if I really have those thoughts.

And I really do have those thoughts so I really do have a pride issue.

God loves him just as much as me. God loves her just as much as me. God loves them just as much as me.

Actually, I have lots of pride issues. This is just a segment of my pride issues. I am multi-faceted in my pride issues.

I pride myself on my range of pride issues.

Too far? Probably.

The truth of the matter is if I see someone or meet someone that I believe shouldn’t have God’s grace and mercy in their lives, I can’t accept it either. With God it’s all-or-nothing and He wants it to be all. And since I’m in desperate need of grace and mercy, I have to understand and accept that God justly gives it to everyone else too.

Every.one.else.

God loves him just as much as me. God loves her just as much as me. God loves them just as much as me.

When this really gets into your head, into your heart, and into your being, you’ll be surprised at how your interactions with people change. You’ll be shocked at how you look at people differently.

You’ll be surprised at how much better you can love people.

Okay, your turn: God loves him just as much as me. God loves her just as much as me. God loves them just as much as me.