holidays – Page 2

an altar call

Hey, it’s almost Christmas Eve. Did you know that this whole holiday, this whole Jesus-coming-to-Earth thing was for you?

No, really, YOU.

The creator of our world, the God who knows how many stars are in the sky, how many grains of sand are on the beach, and how many hairs you have on your head, came to Earth just for you.

He would have done it if you were the only one. How wonderful is that? Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming, I agree. I feel so undeserving. Maybe you feel that way, too.

But the good news is He would do it all over again, knowing all the ways you have messed up, all the ways you’re going to mess up, and all the ways you’re going to fall short. Because we all fall short.

Guys, He just loves us. He just wants good for us. And He left his throne on high to take the form of a babe in a manger, to be scorned by those he came to save, and to die an ugly, brutal death. FOR YOU. FOR ME.

OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM.
OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM.
OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM.
CHRIST THE LORD.

Maybe you’ve been quietly lurking and reading here for a while now. Maybe this is your first time reading my words. Maybe you’ve known me since I was a kid and you’re still shocked I can spell. Maybe you’ve been feeling a little something in your heart, a gentle tugging, that says you don’t know all the answers, but you want this Jesus guy. You want to do life with Him, not because it’s easier, but because it’s just better. Wouldn’t it be such a great story to start your new life today? Every year you could celebrate His birth and your rebirth, because Christmas is for you, after all.

If you’re in the Indy area tomorrow, I’m inviting you to my church. We would love to have you, to celebrate a birthday, our Savior’s, and yours too, if you’d like. Or find someplace close to you, go worship our King. I can tell you the adventure He’ll take you on will be wild and reckless and scary. But it will also be life-giving and good and so so worth it.

So this? This is an altar call on a blog on the day before Christmas Eve. Because He told me to do this, while I was worshiping weeks ago and even though it feels scary and completely out of my comfort zone, I’m doing it. Because He’s for you and you–on this most holy holiday–need to know that.

Merry Christmas, you.

THIS POST ORIGINALLY APPEARED ON DEC. 24, 2014, BUT I LIKE TO REPUBLISH IT EVERY YEAR BECAUSE IT’S STILL TRUE AND NOT BECAUSE I AM TOO LAZY TO WRITE A DIFFERENT POST.

bless their little bratty hearts

We grabbed the stockings and headed to the store. We’d done this last year too, so the girls knew the drill: pick out small toys and candy to put in the stocking for a girl or boy whose family couldn’t afford the extra expenses of Christmas. Once filled, we’d bring the stockings back to our church and they’d be used as part of a shopping event for area families.

The ironic part is our church which is about a 15 minute drive from our house and in a different township brings all the stuff right back to our town to distribute them. My daughters go to school every day with the kids that were going to get the stockings we filled.

In the store, red socks in hand, Ellie and Harper picked out things they wanted for Christmas and put them in. Stuffed animals and whoopie cushions, gum and Sour Patch Kids. They are professional kids who know what other kids want.

Except when it came time to leave, Harper lost her mind. She wanted the whoopie cushion. She didn’t want to give it to someone else. She wanted that delicious gum. Santa needed to bring her that stuff, she didn’t want someone else to have it.

We left the store with a very unhappy five year old and a slightly annoyed seven year old as she too realized the injustice involved in this shopping excursion for someone other than themselves.

Bless their little bratty hearts.

I feel like we talk all the time about others and serving them. We often pray at bedtime for those not warm in beds or with a place to stay out of the rain. We remind them often as we’re driving or shopping or traveling that so many people don’t get to do these things and it’s not normal for a lot of the kids they are growing up around.

We talk and talk and talk. We show and show and show. We model and model and model. We share and share and share.

I felt like they were–if not mastering the art of caring for other–at least aware of their privilege and excess.

I was wrong.

A week or two later, Ellie’s teacher sent home information about their Christmas party. This year they were doing a party in a box. The premise is you fill a shoe box with a juice box, a salty treat, a sweet treat, and a unisex toy that costs about $5. The kids are to wrap their boxes and bring them to school. On the day of the party, they sit in a circle and pass boxes around at teacher direction. Everyone ends up with a different box to open and enjoy.

It’s kinda brilliant, actually.

As we left the church parking lot Saturday night, we headed to Target to fill Ellie’s box. At the bottom of the instruction sheet the teacher sent, there was an invitation to send in more than one box if you could afford to so that kids who couldn’t supply one would be able to participate. I told Ellie she could pick out enough stuff to send in a few extra boxes since we’d already be shopping and it would be easy to share with others.

She immediately said she didn’t want to do that and got mad.

What? Why don’t you want to bring in some extras for kids that might not get presents? You’re not buying this with your own money–it’s our money, you just get to pick out some stuff and wrap it up!

Nope. She was adamantly against bringing in more than her box.

At this point, I started crying. What the hell? What were we doing wrong that our kids just didn’t want to share but actively fought against it? Who were these horrible little human beings we are raising? Could we get new ones? Perhaps the ones that don’t have anything and would be a little more grateful for their things and also aware of the needs of others?

I realize being self-aware at five and seven is hard. I get that when your parents shield you from much of what goes on in the world but expect you to be compassionate and tender-hearted when you live in a bubble is ironic, but shouldn’t they be a little better about this? It doesn’t even require sacrifice on their parts. We’re not taking their money away. We’re not asking them to give up things. We’re not taking anything from them to give to others. We’re just sharing our abundance with others.

And they are completely against it.

I don’t even have a redeeming story or idea with this post, I’m just sharing how selfish my kids are. You’d think after years of making a point to share with others and to give so much, we’d be getting good at this.

We’re still fighting against it at every turn though. Maybe that’s the point–that some things never get easier, you just keep doing them anyway. Like getting up early to go to the gym every morning. I’ve been doing that since May and it’s still a fight every single day. I imagined that eventually I’d bound out of bed, ready for the hour of sweating I’d been doing for months and months. Not excited, but at least accepting.

But every morning I still think about not doing it, dream about skipping the workout. Maybe I’m more like my kids than I realize.

At Target, I bought enough stuff for three Christmas boxes. I ignored my daughter’s protests, told her it broke my heart she didn’t want to make the extra boxes, and did it anyway. The next day she excitedly wrapped up all three shoe boxes. She didn’t want to carry the others to school so Chris had to drop them off. I asked her if it embarrassed her to carry more than one and she said no so I have NO IDEA why this was such a big deal.

I still don’t get it.

As a parent, I make my kids eat vegetables at dinner even though they dislike most of them. I send them to bed at 7:30 because they need to be rested and ready for school the next day. They have to brush their teeth twice a day even though their father doesn’t follow this rule. I require them to take a bath every other day so they’re not the stinky kids at school. And I make them share: with each other, with people they don’t know, with people they will never meet.

It’s all painful and hard. They fight us at every turn, but I know because I’m older and wiser and I read things on the internet, that most of what I’m requiring them to do will be beneficial for them, either short or long term or both. I’m the expert and they’re the students. I have knowledge to share with them! And I will shove it down their throats if I have to.

So that’s what we’re doing this Christmas at the Graham house–shoving sharing down our kids’ throats. It’s as magical as it sounds.

Merry Christmas.

9 book gift ideas that aren’t horrible or boring

Buying books for Christmas gifts is tricky. You think you know what the other person will like, you hope they’ll enjoy this book that you enjoyed, but truly you don’t know if they will actually fall in love with it like you did, let alone open it up.

A few months ago I read a book I thought my dad would like. The book’s main character was very similar to my dad and I knew he’d see himself in it and enjoy it. I lent him my book and he reluctantly read it.

He did not enjoy it. I think it physically pained him to read it.

I feel this does not reflect badly on my book recommendations, but on the fact that my dad doesn’t know a good book when he reads it. This is my unbiased, professional reader opinion. Lesson learned: I will force you to love a book whether you want to or not.

If you’re like me and know what people like to read better than they do, here are some great Christmas gift ideas:

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr (my review) (link to buy)
This would make a great book for anyone who loves historical fiction or appreciates a beautiful story. It’s a haunting story that will stay with the reader for a long time and I assume they’ll be turning it into a movie sometime soon.

Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton (my review) (link to buy)
This book of short memoir-style essays would be great for a busy woman who wants to read more but can only handle small texts because of life, time, and exhaustion. Doyle Melton is entertaining, smart, and humorous. (I also feel like I need to say, her new book is the opposite of this one and not for the faint of heart. Also, I feel like she’s becoming more and more for the masses and less about Jesus so that’s just a word of caution.)

Rosemary The Hidden Kennedy Daughter by Kate Clifford Larson (my review) (link to buy)
I bought this for my grandma this year. Apparently she loves the Kennedys. I don’t especially love the Kennedys but this book was so engaging and interesting nonetheless. Anyone who loves biographies, history, or has connections to kids and mental illness will connect with this shocking and heartbreaking book.

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia (my review) (link to buy)
This young adult novel is great for older YA readers and adults. I’ve been using this as a book club selection for my high school students and kids have been freaking out about how much they love it. Get this for a reluctant reader or the kid that can’t consume a book fast enough. It’s good for everyone.

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlyn Doughty (my review) (link to buy)
You know what will be a hit for Christmas? A book about death and the death industry. Shocking but true. I’m not a big non-fiction reader but this book full of first person stories, history of death traditions from around the world, and commentary on how we’re doing death wrong is so great. You’re just going to have to take my word for it, but this book is so good.

Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson (my review) (link to buy)
Lawson’s essays on mental illness, dead animals, marriage, and family are the perfect mix of struggle, humor, and hope. She’s not neat and tidy, but she is so entertaining and perfect. If you give this book as a gift, you might want to include her first book Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (my review) also because once someone reads Lawson, they’ll want more immediately.

Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls 100 Tales of Extraordinary Women (link to buy)
I’ve seen this amazing book going around the internet recently and I ordered it for my girls for Christmas. I don’t care at all that my daughters love to dress up as princesses and pretend they’re getting married, but I also want them to know that’s not their only option for playtime. I can’t wait to read this book with them. Ellie will see herself in the mathematicians and artists in the book, and Harper will love hearing about real life engineers and scientists. I’m just giddy about this purchase.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern (my review) (link to buy)
If you know someone who has a dad, this book would be a good fit. It’s full of entertaining and really funny stories of Halpern’s dad and you can’t help but connect with him. There is a lot of inappropriate language though, so if that’s not your thing, maybe skip this one.

Design Mom: How to Live With Kids by Gabrielle Stanley Blair (my review) (link to buy)
If you’ve got someone on your Christmas list who loves to decorate, remodel, or organize some crap, this book is for them. The pictures are beautiful, the ideas are relateable and real (as opposed to those weird design books that make you feel crappy and poor), and the book is full of things you could implement right away in your own home. Most design books, to me, are off-putting and unrealistic. This one isn’t, and it’s so enjoyable to read.

Do you buy books as Christmas gifts? It’s such a crap shoot, for real. Have any books that would make great gifts? Share them!

DISCLOSURE: AFFILIATE LINKS USED. THANKS FOR SUPPORTING THIS BLOG SPACE WITH YOUR PURCHASES.

an altar call

Hey, it’s Christmas Eve. Did you know that this whole holiday, this whole Jesus-coming-to-Earth thing was for you?

No, really, YOU.

The creator of our world, the God who knows how many stars are in the sky, how many grains of sand are on the beach, and how many hairs you have on your head, came to Earth just for you.

He would have done it if you were the only one. How wonderful is that? Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming, I agree. I feel so undeserving. Maybe you feel that way, too.

Oh, come let us adore Him.
Oh, come let us adore Him.
Oh, come let us adore Him.
Christ the Lord.

If you’re in the Indy area today, I’m inviting you to my church today. We would love to have you, to celebrate a birthday, our Savior’s, and yours too, if you’d like. Or find someplace close to you, go worship our King. I can tell you the adventure He’ll take you on will be wild and reckless and scary. But it will also be life-giving and good and so so worth it.

So this? This is an altar call on a blog on Christmas Eve. Because He told me to do this, while I was worshiping weeks ago and even though it feels scary and completely out of my comfort zone, I’m doing it. Because He’s for you and you–on this most holy night–need to know that.

Merry Christmas, you.

This post originally appeared on Dec. 24, 2014, but I couldn’t think of better words a year later so here it is again. Also, if you happened to read this post last year, I’m sorry I spelled “altar” wrong THREE times like an idiot.

favorite things party 2015

I don’t mean to say I’m Oprah, but I give away some favorite things every year and it’s just pretty awesome all around.

Quick recap if you’re new here: on the first Thursday of every month, I hang out with eight girls I graduated high school with. I have known some of them since kindergarten. We started this monthly meetup in early 2013 and as we grow and laugh together, those girls mean more to me than I ever thought possible. (I’ve written about how to start your own girls club if this setup sounds good to you.) They probably don’t feel the same way about me because I make them do weird things like write love notes to each other and our annual Christmas favorite things party, but they haven’t kicked me out yet, so I have that going for me.

This year was our third favorite things party. Everyone picks one thing they love that they think everyone else would enjoy and then they buy eight of them, one for each of us. Then we throw ourselves a fancy little Christmas party with lots of good food and open presents. We take turns explaining why we picked the gift or what it means to us and then we all get to open the surprise.

It’s my favorite Christmas event. Plus, these girls give great gifts. Sorry, Chris Graham and my extended family, there’s just no competition.

Two reasons I’m sharing this: 1.) so you can get some last-minute gift ideas if you’ve waited until the last second to Christmas shop. That would totally stress me out, but I know for some of you, that’s your thing. Whatever. You do you. And 2.) so you can see how awesome it is and start gathering a group for your own favorite things party next year. (I love that I have readers email me or tweet me to say they are doing their own parties now. Friend time is the best. Okay, it’s the best in small bursts, like once a month. I’m an introvert so don’t get too carried away with the idea.)

We got running socks from Heather. She got us socks last Christmas because it was the year she started running and it changed her life. We got so excited over cool-looking socks that she did it again. And we got just as excited this year. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. (She also got us some yummy lip gloss from Bath and Body Works that smells like mint. It freshens your breath and my kids try to eat it, of course.)

Jennifer made us custom Christmas ornaments to commemorate all the beer we’ve consumed together. Except we don’t actually drink beer when we get together. But the personalize ornament idea is pretty awesome.

You know what thirty-something women love? Coloring books. Jessi got us beautiful coloring books and fancy colored pencils. She said they’re awesome for relaxing and de-stressing and we all thought that sounded magical.

Krissy has a crafty friend who makes hand-crafted jewelry and was just featured in a local magazine so she placed a necklace order for us. My motto is you can never have enough jewelry so this worked out well for me.

We all know my love of all things chocolate by now so that my friend Jessica got us Trader Joe’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups is the best thing ever. She said she hides them in her cabinet and eats one or two when she really needs some chocolate. I thought that was a cute idea and then I came home and ate all of them the next day. But that’s nice she likes to save them, good for her.

Poo-Pourri! I’m sure you know someone who uses this and it just makes me laugh so much because my friend Melissa is so discreet and modest about bathroom stuff. I don’t have that discretion gene, but I still enjoy this product so much if for no other reason than it makes me giggle. If you’re completely unfamiliar with it, it helps take the smell away from your bathroom business. If you need more details, click the link because that’s all I’ve got for you.

Our friend Emily said she has started journaling a lot this year so she got everyone a cute notebook, some colored pens, and a candle. I’m always down when someone says to write something, and new pens are my love language.

Amber loves to bake so she made delicious pumpkin rolls from scratch that I imagine took about 15 hours total to complete. I’m not a big fan of pumpkin, but I have a husband who is. I would show you a picture of it, but it no longer exists. Use your imagination. It was (apparently) good. She also got us all framed pictures of the group so we can stare at each other’s ugly faces all year long. How sweet.

Oh, and me! I spilled the beans on what I was giving months ago after I read a book I wanted all my friends to have too. Nobody’s Cuter than You by Melanie Shankle had so many great themes about loyalty, friendship, and growing older with great girls around you, that I only made it half way through before I knew it was my gift for December. It’s not included in the pictures above because I loaned someone my copy and then gave away eight at our party so I don’t have one right now. But if you have a best friend or two that you love fiercely and you don’t even know where to start because everything seems just-not-right, I would say order this book from Amazon Prime real quick and you’ll be all set.

So that’s the run down; you’ve still got a few days left to get your presents in order before the big day and if you’re still struggling for ideas, I hope you found at least one thing you could use (and really, who couldn’t use some Poo-Pourri??!). Also, it’s never too early to start planning your favorite things party for 2016.

(If none of these gift ideas work for you, check out 2014’s or 2013’s favorite things party for other great ideas!)

Merry Christmas, even if it’s hard

I feel like we need to stop for a minute and acknowledge that maybe, for some of us, this season is hard. Like really hard. And we’d just like to skip the festivities this year.

In the fall of 2012, I accidentally got pregnant. “Accidentally” meaning it was not planned. Not “accidentally” like I didn’t know how babies were made. Please do not email me and offer to explain. In 5th grade my mom showed my sister and I what a condom was and how to put one on and I’ve never been the same since. Plus, the giggling that came out of my younger sister’s mouth still haunts my nightmares. She used to laugh like a hyena on crack.

We had not planned on more children and were shocked at the positive pregnancy tests. But by Christmas time, we were starting to get excited and spent holiday gatherings telling our families. Everyone knew we were good with two and so surprising everyone with third Graham baby news was really fun.

Then in January I had a miscarriage.

It was long and drawn out and knocked me on my butt hard. I drank a lot of wine and ate a lot of cheese in January. I wore lots of black and acted very French, apparently. If I could have found one of those really long cigarette holders I totally would have used it. I don’t smoke, but maybe I would have taken it up? Who knows.

Because life is cruel and the world doesn’t care, everything else went on and so I did too. But when Christmas rolled around the next year, sadness and emptiness hit fast and hard. I didn’t see it coming. Most days I didn’t think about our loss because I am really good at blocking bad stuff out. I think it’s called denial, I am not sure.

But that Christmas we should have had a baby. Christmas was when we shared our good news. Christmas was here and we were one short.

It shocked how much it hurt again. I wasn’t prepared for the sudden, intense hurt to come back so strong. I thought we were moving on.

This year has been hard for people I love. Two of them have said out loud I was raped. Babies have died. Spouses have died. Divorces have divided families.

This Christmas season looks pretty on Instagram and Facebook but there’s a lot of pain here too. I know the feeling all too well of just wishing this holiday would pass because there’s too much family time and celebrating, too much cheer and down time. Because it’s during the quiet that sadness creeps in and takes over. Because a routine and work and errands and meetings fill things, distract minds, and make the hurt less noticeable.

It’s still there though, settled in for the long haul like those twenty pounds you really want to lose, but you sometimes forget about it if you’re busy and wearing stretchy pants. But when you’ve got time to sit and reflect and eat the dessert with Grandma, then you realize your pants are too tight. Or your broken heart is overwhelming you. So then you’re uncomfortable and sad and just want to get out of the house. Or the pants. I sorta got lost on that metaphor so you’re just going to need to trust me that it makes sense.

I have a friend who had a miscarriage recently. I think about her a lot and really want to reach out to let her know I love her and am thinking about the baby she won’t get to meet until heaven; to let her know she isn’t alone if sadness and maybe anger show up this Christmas instead of joy and cheer. But I haven’t said these things to her because there is a small, self-conscious part of me that thinks I might just be bringing up something unpleasant for her and that would be rude.

I know that is completely false because my fear of bringing it up implies that it went somewhere, that it left.

It didn’t go anywhere.

It’s there all the time. Loss of life, loss of relationship, loss of innocence, it doesn’t leave. It shapes and molds you into something different and, at times, unrecognizable. It’s there whether we say it out loud or not.

So for Christmas this year, let’s say it out loud. Let’s say that we’re hurting and we need help. Let’s say that this is hard and it feels like too much. And let’s not be afraid to ask how others are doing and to really, truly listen to what the answer is.

Merry Christmas, even if it’s hard.

Filling our stockings with help from Hallmark Gold Crown

As the holiday season gears up (can you believe next week is Thanksgiving?!), we’re making a conscious effort to talk with the girls about how much we have and because of that, how much of a responsibility we have to share with others.

So when our church passed out Christmas stockings to fill for some neighbors that might not have a lot this Christmas season, we jumped at the chance to head to Hallmark Gold Crown store and fill them with goodies for other kids.

The girls had fun picking out things they would like to have in their stockings and then giving them away to others. Okay, Ellie had fun. Harper did cry a little at the store when she realized she wasn’t getting something. But Santa took note of how much both girls loved the Itty Bittys (a whoooole lot) and I’m sure a few will show up in their stockings too.

The hardest part of shopping to fill the stockings was narrowing it down. There were well over 20 different Itty Bittys to choose from and it took Ellie forever to decide on a Frozen theme for her stocking.

For my tomboy Harper, she loved the Spider-Man Itty Bitty so we decided to go for a boy theme with her stocking. We found a set of four Star Wars The Force Awakens Cubeez which are perfect for filling with little toys or candy and then hiding in a stocking.

Stopping by Hallmark Gold Crown to fill our stockings was easy and convenient. But if you can’t get out, it’s nice to know they have all their products listed on Hallmark.com and can ship directly to your house.

It seems simple to fill a stocking and give it to someone else, but you’d be surprised at how many kids have never had a stocking before. At my old school, we’d do a Christmas party every year for four to six kids on our team that we knew were struggling financially and wouldn’t be seeing a lot under the tree that year. I’ll never forget the girl who exclaimed as she saw her stocking that she had never had one before–and she was twelve years old. It knocked me on my butt to think that this was a reality for so many kids.

So the Grahams filled stockings for our neighbors because it’s easy, simple, and what we’re called to do. And thanks for Hallmark Gold Crown, we found everything we needed to bring a smile to a couple kids’ faces.

What exactly did we fill our stockings with? Good question! Check out this video for all the exciting details.

DISCLOSURE: THIS IS A SPONSORED POST, BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MINE.

why I always do the food drive

In fourth grade I was on the front page of my town’s newspaper. It was kind of a big deal and it was the start of my modeling career.

Just kidding.

But it was a big deal. It was also a big sham.

See, what happened was the local reporter/photographer (small town paper, folks) showed up to Mrs. Theur’s class one day asking for a few kids who had donated food for our November food drive because he wanted to take a picture and write up a short story about it. My hand flew up before I could even think, and I was asked to head to the front lobby to pose for a few shots with my fellow Dragons.

The only problem was I had not donated one single thing to the food drive. I hadn’t so much as mentioned it to my mom, hadn’t brought in one can or box of stuffing, and I had just told a big fat lie to a reporter so I could be on the front page of the paper for something I didn’t do.

Clearly, I wasn’t a smart child, because this lie wasn’t going to go unnoticed because my parents would know I didn’t bring in any food when they saw my fat face in the newspaper.

I lied for fame and fortune, and now I was going to be exposed.

When I got home that afternoon, I casually mentioned to my mom I had taken some cans from the pantry for the food drive and just forgot to tell her. She looked at me a little funny, because she knew this was something I wouldn’t have done without asking but she didn’t say much.

Later that night I threw in the detail about the reporter coming to school and taking my picture then abruptly left the room before anyone could ask any questions.

Be cool, Mary. BE COOL, as I slip out of the room…

The next week when the paper came out, there I was with my big fat liar face on the front page surrounded by innocent kids who probably really did bring in food for the food drive and didn’t sell their souls for five minutes of fame.

I felt a little guilty for the farce but mostly I felt proud I was obviously going to be rich and famous and maybe even get my crush Brian to be my boyfriend and stop using me to teach him how to braid friendship bracelets at recess.

Come to think of it, maybe Brian liked boys.

Fourth grade is really complicated.

Recently my mom was cleaning out an old school folder (“old school” meaning a folder from when I was in elementary school, not as in “cool, vintage folder”) she had kept for me and, in between report cards, projects, and random basketball team pictures, was the infamous front page photo of my pretend food drive participation. Of course my parents had saved it, their blessed daughter was in the paper. How were they to know I was a conniving liar who would do anything to get some media attention?

I think about that lie every Thanksgiving. Even without the newspaper clipping as a reminder, every year as school and neighborhood food drives start up, I remember my pretend food drive donation and drive my guilty little self to the store to fill up the donation boxes. I can’t say no to a food drive now, and I know it’s because I’m still trying to make amends for my fourth grade lie.

And that, my friends, is why I always do the food drives.

writing love notes to my girlfriends

Yes, you read that right.

This Valentine’s Day, I’m writing love notes to all my First Thursday girls. (First Thursday girls are a group of my friends from high school that get together the first Thursday of every month for dinner at someone’s house. I’ve known the majority of these girls since I was in kindergarten. I think we’ve been doing this for almost two years at this point.)

At our Christmas shindig I explained my idea for February’s dinner and everyone rolled their eyes. Mostly because they’re just tired of me coming up with weird ideas and making them do it so I can write about it. But here’s my thinking: some of us give cards to our spouses or boyfriends and some of us don’t give cards to anyone because we’re single. And while romantic love is grand and lovely and blah blah blah, there are a lot of other people in my life that I love and I probably don’t tell enough.

Last year I wrote about how I love Valentine’s Day and wish more people didn’t think it was such a terrible thing. But one of the reasons I love this completely made-up and ridiculous holiday is because I get to do fun stuff with my kids whom I love dearly, I get to wear pink and red to school and not feel like I’m clashing, and people are just nicer to each other on this day. So when I was thinking about loving people well (something I want to do better), I thought about all the non-romantic love I have for people in my life and how they might not know how much I dig them.

So I’m writing love notes to my girlfriends this year. And I’m making them write them also even though they’re all grumbling and one person has dubbed this “lesbian card exchange.” I’m not asking for everyone to write page-long letters to everyone else in the group, but I am asking everyone to write something. A little encouragement, a thanks, a funny story, a favorite memory of them, whatever, I’m just asking my friends to write to each other. It’s making some people really uncomfortable and I realize that not everyone loves to write like I do, but I do know that everyone likes to receive cards and handwritten ones are best, so we’re working through the grumbling.

I’m also completely aware that my friends are good sports. I find it slightly funny that they roll their eyes at my ideas and then just do it anyway. Those are some good friends, guys. Go get yourself some of those if you don’t have them.

So tonight I’m exchanging Valentine’s Day cards with my girlfriends. I didn’t think through whether we’d open them up in front of everyone, I kinda hope we don’t, but I can’t wait to hand out my cards. And I hope this sticks, that we get to spend every February for years to come trading cards with each other. Some of these girls were around to put their Cabbage Patch and Lisa Frank cards in my shoebox mailbox in elementary school and I’m just thankful they’re still in my life. And that they just roll their eyes and accept me.

Christmas games

One of my favorite parts of Christmas, of slowing down and gathering with friends and family, is playing games. No one has anywhere else to be, bellies are full, and Christmas music is playing in the background. It’s super cheesy and a little cliched but there’s truth in it too, the coming together, the easy laughter, and the spirit of the season. It just makes things a little sweeter.

I hope your Christmas was full of child-like wonder, slow days spent enjoying family and friends, and maybe a competitive game or two. That you won, of course.

DISCLOSURE: THIS POST IS SPONSORED BY GLASSESSHOP.COM. I’m wearing the Ludington Wayfarer glasses and my sister and niece are wearing the Naples Wayfarer glasses. Use code “MaryX20” for 20% off your order.

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OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM. OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM. OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM. CHRIST THE LORD.