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all the sweets for Christmas

There’s nothing better than a weekend of baking as the holidays approach. I know some would disagree, but those are not my people.

At Christmas I love feeding people sweets. I love buying holiday containers, filling them with sugary treats, and dropping them off on the porches of my friends. I love showing up to holiday parties with a boxes of baked goods. I love eating cookies in December like it is my job.

If this is also your jam, I present to you my favorite ways to fill a holiday goodie box:
(I’m sure you have your own go-tos because this is not a new idea. I’m just sharing mine because they’re better than yours. Just kidding. I’m sure yours are good-ish.)

Chocolate Chip Cookies
No, not just any chocolate chip cookie. You have to make THESE cookies. Don’t change the recipe, don’t do any substitutions. Add as much air as possible to the wet ingredients and then just mix the least amount of times as possible as you add the dry ingredients. Semi-sweet chocolate chips only. Listen, I don’t know many things but I know chocolate chip cookies. Do this recipe, bake them until they’re just barely done, and the people will never be the same.

This is a very powerful cookie. Please be careful with your new power.

(The next three treats are where the girls get in on the action. Dipping things in chocolate is a gift from God. Amen.)

Chocolate-Dipped Pretzel Rods
Buy a few bags of pretzel rods because you don’t realize how many are broken until you specifically need unbroken ones for chocolate-dipped pretzel rods. Plus, there might be some snacking while you dip. There is no such thing as too many sprinkles, so hoard them all year long for this sprinkle party.

Chocolate-Dipped Oreos
Speaking of sprinkle party, we’re dipping Oreos in chocolate and throwing sprinkles on them too. I do both chocolate and white chocolate, but the white chocolate are normally the first to go. No one can turn down an Oreo; adding in more chocolate cannot be wrong. (We’ve done this multiple ways: with sticks to look like lollipops, half dipping, and full dipping. Do whatever your heart desires.)

Rolo Pretzels
I don’t think you can go wrong with salt and chocolate so I throw in some Rolo pretzels to fill in the empty spots in the cookie box.

Sugar cookies
I know everyone has their favorite recipe (or store-bought cookie dough), but I’m going to need you to make this one. Before I share it, please know I’m not a fan of buying a vat of lard (also known as shortening), but you’re going to need to, and it will work out wonderfully.

Cream:
1/2 cup shortening
1/4 cup butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs

Combine in a separate bowl:
2 and 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt

Combine wet and dry ingredients. Cover dough and let it chill in the fridge for at least one hour (overnight is best). Roll out to 1/4 in. thickness, cut into shapes, and bake at 400 degrees for about 10 minutes. They’ll burn fast so pay attention. The thicker the dough the softer they end up so don’t make them too thin. Double the recipe if you want more cookies, don’t make the dough thinner. Then cool and ice with your favorite icing.

That’s it. I’ve done other random cookies (like these white chocolate cranberry oatmeal cookies) when I’ve been feeling extra, but these are my standbys. Find a cute cookie box or container and start packing! Just as I’m closing the box of sweets, I like to throw in candy cane Kisses. Because what this package needs is just a little more chocolate.

Happy baking!

 

P.S. If you’re feeling extra festive, throw in a mini loaf of this banana bread (always do the vinegar/milk substitute for the buttermilk, please and thank you), and make this zesty Chex Mix too.

Zesty Chex Mix
3 cups of each cereal (rice, wheat, corn Chex)
8 Tbsp. melted butter or margarine
3 Tbsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 Tbsp. seasoned salt
1 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. onion powder

*add in nuts, pretzels, etc. as you prefer. We don’t like nuts in it, but pretzel sticks are a must.
*Heat the over to 250 degrees. Spread the mixture on a baking sheet baking for 60 minutes total, taking it out every 15 minutes to stir. (You can also microwave instead of baking, do 3-4 rounds of five minutes, stirring the bowl in between.) Cool on newspaper. This is salty and bold, if you’re going to be in someone’s face or on a first date in a few days, skip this one for now. We’re addicted to it, but it’s not for the weak.

 


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Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

13 books I’d give to anyone for Christmas

Buying a book for someone else is tricky.

We don’t all like the same things. We don’t all enjoy the same genres. We don’t all laugh at the same jokes.

But what if there were some fool-proof books you could give almost anyone and they’d love?

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Before I begin, if you give someone one of these books and they don’t like it, it probably means they have horrible taste in books and it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I know good books. I stand by this list and it will never be my fault for someone not clicking with one of them.

Okay, now we can begin:

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty
I read this years ago and still think about it often. Doughty is a mortician whose life mission is to make us rethink our traditions and customs of honoring the dead. I loved this book; it’s full of research, stories from around the world, and honest discussion about the way we’ve created a culture afraid of the dead bodies of our loved ones.

Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Sister by Kate Clifford Larson
As someone who doesn’t have any real interest in the Kennedy family, this book was engaging and interesting from beginning to end. The bigger story of our mistreatment and misunderstanding of mental illness and differently-abled people will break your heart and, hopefully, reframe the way you think and talk about God’s children the world often deems second class.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (or any Sedaris book, really)
This is not Sedaris’ first book, but it’s the first one I read as a sophomore in college so it holds a special place in my heart. Me Talk Pretty One Day is a collection of essays about his childhood and family. As a writer, I respect this book for the craft; as a reader, I love his voice and family, the way he paints such authentic, flawed people with love and honesty.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
This book is about two children, a blind girl and a young soldier, whose paths cross in occupied France during World War II. All the Light We Cannot See is such a well-written story, the talent and dedication it takes to tell such a moving fiction is awe-inspiring. I haven’t met anyone who didn’t love this book.

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia
I’m throwing a little young adult fiction on the list because I will forever work against the stereotype that the label YA makes it childish or not valid for the adult reader. I participated in an adult book club read of Made You Up with my local library and sitting in a room full of elderly adults discussing this moving book made my heart so happy. Of course some YA literature isn’t engaging for adults, but this one is, so don’t write it off because of the genre.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrick Backman
I made my dad read this book, and he begrudgingly did it. We read very different things and while he won’t say he loved it, I can tell in his eyes he did. A Man Called Ove is about a crumedgeon who seems to hate everyone. Underneath his grumpy exterior is sadness and pain, so as the reader gets to know Ove, you can’t help but fall in love with him even though you want to strangle him. The storytelling and character development in this one is beautiful to witness.


The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
I couldn’t put a gift list together without a side of social justice. I think The New Jim Crow should be required reading for everyone in America. Reading this well-researched and thought-provoking book about mass incarceration in the US will change your perspective on how race influences our criminal “justice” system. This will push lots of us to confront some bias and privilege we tend to ignore.

Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits–to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin
Want to feel pumped and excited for the new year? Grab this book. If you’ve got someone on your list who loves self-improvement and self-help and encouragement, Better Than Before is the perfect gift. I listened to the audio version on the treadmill every morning, and I felt so inspired. There’s good stuff for everyone in this one.

Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance
There are two groups of people who read this book: people who see themselves in the Vance family and those who know people who are the Vance family. Either way, Hillbilly Elegy is a frank and honest look at the upwardly mobile white lower class struggles. Race and class in American is so twisty and complicated, and if we want to talk openly about all the parts, we all need to read this book.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
If you’ve been here for a while you know I recommend this book on all my gift lists. It’s just funny. Leave it on the coffee table and let the people laugh. If you’re a sensitive Nelly who doesn’t like curse words, you’ll want to sit this one out, but otherwise, it’s an entertaining and fun book that most (non-prudish) people will enjoy.

Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff
Children’s version: Love Does by Bob Goff and Lindsey Goff Viducich
We all feel ordinary and stuck sometimes. In Love Does, Goff helps us change our perspective from boring to exciting with a call to see and interact in our world differently. This book feels happy and joyful and life-giving in a way we can all relate to.

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
You didn’t think I’d make a book-buying list without including this one, did you? If I was asked one book outside of the Bible that got me through the roughest year of my life, it would be The Road Back to You. Seeing myself through the lens of the Enneagram began a journey of work and healing, both for myself and my marriage, that I’m not sure would have happened otherwise. It feels crazy to say this book filled in blanks that were killing me in ways I wasn’t yet aware, but it’s the truth. I seriously do give this book to everyone, and I think you should too.

Remember: If you buy one of these books and the receiver doesn’t like it, it means they’re tasteless chumps who wouldn’t know a good book if it bit them in the butt. Because these are good great books everyone should love.

Have a good one to add to the list? What book would you give to anyone because you love it so much? Help us spread good books!


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Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

Best Christmas cards for 2018

The calendar says ‘December’ so we can all finally agree it’s the Christmas season. I don’t know what side of the November-Christmas season you’re on, but in December, we’re all on the same team again.

Hallelujah.

This week is all about Christmas on the blog, in our house, and in my heart. Cheesy, but VERY TRUE.

First on the list of holiday prep for many people is ordering their holiday cards. Whether you’re in charge of the company Christmas cards, putting your extended family on a New Year’s card, or you’re continuing your tradition of featuring your cute dog on the Hanukkah card, Basic Invite has you covered.

I’ve ordered our Christmas cards from lots of different companies over the years, and I have to admit all companies are not created equal. With Basic Invite you don’t have to worry about not getting the best Christmas cards. They’re printing cards on quality paper and to make sure you love what you’re getting, you can even request a sample card before pulling the trigger on the whole box.

Basic Invite also offers almost unlimited colors. One of the hardest things for me about picking holiday cards is making sure the picture I want to use looks good visually with the card I’ve selected. People creating those cards are amazing, but sometimes I want a different color font or border. With Basic Invite, once you select a design you can change the color of each element on the card to over 180 different color options so you can make sure the card is exactly how you want it down to the littlest detail. That’s some extreme customer service right there.

Confession time: I have a friend who orders cards every year but often doesn’t get them addressed and mailed because she just runs out of time. SHE ORDERS THE CARDS AND NEVER SENDS THEM.

This is a tragedy.

As soon as I learned of Basic Invite and their address capturing service, I texted my friend to let her know someone has solved her time problem. Here’s how it works: You share a link on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other form of social media to request your friends’ and family’s addresses which will be stored in your account and can then be selected during the design process. Basic Invite offers recipient address printing at no cost on all Christmas card orders.

No more ordering the cards and then rushing to get them mailed. Added bonus: They have over 40 envelope colors (all with peel-and-seal closures) to choose from so if you don’t want your holiday card to get lost in the stack of bills and junk mail, go with a bright, festive color to stand out. (I love a green envelope, if you want my unnecessary opinion on envelopes.)

Basic Invite has thought of every detail.

Right now Basic Invite is offering 30% off your order with coupon code: holi30

Later this month, I’ll share what card we picked as our family Christmas card. They turned out so good, I can’t wait to share what we got. Until then, it’s your turn! Pick your favorite and order them today before the holiday card sale ends. Then make sure you send one to me, because it’s Christmas and it’s the right thing to do.

 


*Disclosure: This is a sponsored post, but all opinions are mine.

MAKE SURE YOU SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER! GO HERE TO GET MONTHLY BOOK REVIEWS & SUGGESTIONS, SURPRISE GIVEAWAYS, SUBSCRIBER-ONLY POSTS, AND THE MONDAY BUSINESS MEETING EMAIL WITH ENCOURAGEMENT, NEWS, & FREE STUFF.

Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

Preparing our hearts for the holidays

I am here for Christmas.
I am here for early Christmas decorations.
I am here for obnoxious Christmas music.
I am here for Christmas socks and earrings and scarves.

All good sense goes out the window during the Christmas season.

It’s fun. But as I slowly wade into the deep, deep waters of red and green and tinsel, I wonder what parts say “Christian” and what parts say “world.”

Because truthfully, the line might get fuzzy sometimes.

Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise, but as wise,
making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:15-16

I worry about what I’m doing during this season that is wise and what is unwise. Don’t get me wrong, God loves a celebration and a feast just as much as the next guy, but I wonder if in the name of Jesus, we take things too far–going the wrong way–and forget the point.

I’m talking about myself right now, obviously.

If I was standing outside of my life looking in (a la Ebenezer Scrooge and A Christmas Carol), would I be able to tell I’m a Jesus follower celebrating the birth of my Savior or just partaking in the American traditions of Christmas, void of any real meaning or religious importance?

Huh.

I’ve been wrestling with this for years now. For me, it started with questioning the amount of gifts we were giving the girls and how much consumerism we seemed to be encouraging in our house. All the way back in 2011 (when Ellie was two and Harper was nine months old), I realized we were being inundated with things we didn’t need, clothes they would never wear, and toys they never played with. We were privileged enough to not have a lot of needs and our wants seemed to be excessive as well. Soon after the 2011 Christmas season, we began to handle birthday celebrations and Christmas gift-giving differently.

I didn’t want to go into debt giving people gifts to show we cared, and I knew people were spending money they didn’t have on gifts for our family.

There was no Jesus in that nonsense, and it needed to stop.

Seven years into this intentional journey of celebrating a Christian holiday in a world working hard to take the Jesus part out of it, we’re a lot more aware of our tendencies and how to prepare for the holidays with a focus on our Savior. We’re still evolving and working through this. We’re still losing focus and getting caught up in the wrong things, but we’re also better at course-corrections. We do some very specific things to keep our lists, expectations, and focus in check. I’m sharing them, not because I demand you do the same, but to encourage you to see your holiday traditions and routines through the lens of Christ-in-a-manger and what would change if that was the first thing you worked on celebrating. It will look different for all of us. It will look different based on what gifts and talents God has given you and your family. But for us, it looks like this:

Tithe first
I know it’s easy to skip it this time of year, but I prayerfully ask you to not. Obedience is worship and if we want to do our holidays different than the non-Christian, we’ve got to make sure we’re giving our tithe before we do anything else. It’s so tempting to spend that ten percent elsewhere because there are so many things to buy or contribute to, but this year, don’t skip the tithe and see what God can do with your obedience.

Stick to the four-gift rule
It’s something I came across on Pinterest years ago and we’ve followed some variation of it since 2012. You give your kids four gifts: one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing they wear, and one thing they read. For the wear, we’ve changed it to one outfit plus winter boots. For the read, they normally each get a set of books. They also get Christmas Eve boxes and stockings full of junk so it’s more than enough gifts for our girls.

Simple is best
As we’ve tightened our circle for healthy boundaries and survival, we’ve whittled down our gift list as well. When we understand love isn’t determined by how much money we spend on a gift or how many gift cards we pass out, the need to impress people vanishes. A chunk of our Christmas budget is spent on cards to send to everyone we love and, for most people, that’s all you’re getting from us. And there’s nothing wrong with that. We love you, we are thankful for your friendship, we are thinking of you, and here’s a pretty picture of us smiling for you. The end.

Less social media during the holidays
The quickest way to feel like our traditions, our decorations, our family meals aren’t enough? See someone else’s Instagram or Facebook posts. My head knows full well that those magical pictures are probably staged and pretend, but my heart doesn’t always remember. If I want to be more joyful and less distracted by what the internet tells me I’m lacking, I have to intentionally put down my phone during the next month or so. If Jesus came to take away my sins, I’m not going to the internet where greed, jealousy, and competition fester.

An easy way to keep myself in check as we go through this holiday season is to ask, “Are my holiday preparations and celebrations any different than a non-believers?” And if the answer is no, I start looking for ways to change that.

I have a special word of caution for you who are sure that you have it all together yourselves and, because you know God’s revealed Word inside and out, feel qualified to guide others through their blind alleys and dark nights and confused emotions to God. While you are guiding others, who is going to guide you? I’m quite serious. While preaching “Don’t steal!” are you going to rob people blind? Who would suspect you? The same with adultery. The same with idolatry. You can get by with almost anything if you front it with eloquent talk about God and his law. The line from Scripture, “It’s because of you Jews that the outsiders are down on God,” shows it’s an old problem that isn’t going to go away. -Romans 2:18-24, The Message

You can get by with anything if you front it with eloquent talk about God and his law.

You mean thousands of years ago people were using God and His law to get away with ungodly things and it turned outsiders off to God?

Who knew.

I think that’s the same with how Christians do holidays. If we’re not doing anything different than the world, but claiming all our celebrations and spending and glitter are about Jesus, people aren’t going to see that following Jesus transforms us. If we’re not behaving differently or spending our resources differently, people aren’t going to be drawn to what we’re presenting because it is everything they already have.

With enough out-of-context Scripture quoting and inspirational Jesus decorations, we can make anything seem about worship and obedience while actually being empty and selfish.

I don’t know the right answer to the tension we should be acknowledging and living in, but ignoring it seems wrong. We are called and set apart for His glory, not ours, and if we get too wrapped up in the world’s Christmas celebrations instead of Christ’s, it would seem we’re actually showing people how to live in the world and not with Christ.

What does this mean for your house? What does it mean for my family? It means we keep asking questions and re-evaluating. It means we don’t allow some things in, and we purposefully do others. I’m not sure our gift rule is where everyone starts. But I am sure all of us start with tithing and being aware of who we let influence our holidays, and it will take us on a never-ending journey to more Jesus and less world.

At least that’s my hope and prayer for my family. And yours too.


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Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

9 Amazon gifts I’m loving right now

In July my steady teacher paycheck stopped and so did my thoughtless Amazon purchases. They weren’t that justified before, but now, with no salary and a new “self-employed” title, I needed to get it together fast.

But I still wanted things. *face palm*

I wasn’t willing to take on debt for the things I wanted.

I wasn’t willing to skip groceries for the week to get the things I wanted.

So I started counting down the days until my birthday. In October, I’d have some birthday money burning a hole in my pocket, and I needed to be prepared.

For months I took screenshots of things I found online, things people shared I was interested in, or things I read about and then searched out on Amazon. I created a little visual wish list, if you will.

Then one night in October, I sat on the couch as my kids watched a movie and went through the screenshots. Some of the things didn’t interest me anymore so I deleted them with no regrets. But some of the things still called to me, had been calling to me for months, so I carefully placed them in my Amazon cart and watched the total. I had $125 to spend and, while I didn’t want to spend all of it just because I had it, I knew what I wanted and if I could get it all, I would.

It wasn’t impulse purchasing. It was birthday shopping, money meant for me and only me. When the girls were younger and things were a lot tighter as we were still working to pay off debt, some of this money would have been spent on our family, our bills, or put in the bank.

But not this time. This time it was all mine. *insert evil laugh here*

I’d spent the week leading up to this evening on the couch purging our house of belongings and excess. I didn’t want to live in a house overflowing with clothes and toys and junk we didn’t need. So I was aware as I put things in my shopping cart to not just replace things I had recently gotten rid of. The goal of purging was to live with less, not an excuse to buy new, better things.

In the end, I spent $114 exactly. Here’s what I got and why you might be interested in them too:

 

Jade roller
I’m closer to 40 than 30. While I am not too concerned about the state of my skin yet, I know the day is closer than I’d like so when I started hearing about using a jade roller to help with the look and tightness of your skin, I was all ears. I don’t want expensive potions and lotions. I won’t ever shoot my face with poison to combat wrinkles, but I will roll my face with a cool stone every night before bed in hopes of delaying saggy jowls.

Sunglasses
I’m one of those weirdos who can own just one pair of sunglasses for years without losing them or buying a second pair. This is odd, I get it. The pair I’ve had for the past year and a half have started to fall apart so I’ve been on the hunt for a new pair. These (I got the two pack, brown and black) had really good reviews and were recommended by a girl I follow on IG. Apparently they’re some designer knock-offs, but I have no idea who/what they’re stealing from because that doesn’t interest me in the slightest. Anyway, I got these glasses, they’re oversized and wonderful. So now I own two pairs of sunglasses which makes me feel like the fanciest person in all the land.

Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions by Gerald G. May, MD
I haven’t started reading this one yet, but my friend Laura read it and when she finished it (early one weekday morning), she texted me immediately to tell me to buy it. So I did. I’m excited to find time to read it soon.

Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff by Myquinllin Smith
With the current purge going on at our house, I bought a book about having less stuff…because I love irony and mixed messages. BUT SERIOUSLY. I love Smith’s first book (The Nesting Place), and found it full of relatable design and home ideas so when her new book about creating a cozy home with less things came out, I was all in. This is going to be my Thanksgiving break read–I’m looking forward to spending early mornings by the fire flipping through it.

Reusable straws
Please be impressed with my concern for our environment.

Also, that’s not why I ordered these, but I am fine with pretending. Every morning I make my way down to the kitchen and chug a big cup of water. Normally 16-20 ounces just as quick as I can to get it over with. I have two cups I do this with and one of them doesn’t have a straw. I can’t drink all that water fast without a straw so I ordered this set. I couldn’t order just one straw, but now that we have them, we’re using them all the time. The girls use them with cups at home, and once I went to Wendy’s and they forgot to give me a straw so I used a stainless steel straw in my Diet Coke which made me feel very smug and smart.

Black leggings
Please give me all of your attention. This is really important, we need to talk about black leggings. I *know* you can get them anywhere–the gas station, Lulu Lemon, Costco, the Dollar Store–but these are it for me. I’ve tried lots of legging and I’m verrrrry picky. I refuse to pay a fortune. I don’t want a thin elastic band around my middle because it’s unflattering. I need them to be long enough for my very long legs. I won’t wear them with a short shirt, but I still want to feel safe about their thickness if my butt shows. High-waisted is a plus. They can’t be see-through. They must hold up all day and not get saggy. They can’t pill after a few washes.

THIS IS A LONG LIST OF DEMANDS.

But these leggings do it. They’re almost too good to be true and I hesitate to share them with you because what if they go out of stock? It would be a national tragedy. But in the spirit of “do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” I’m telling you to buy these leggings. Probably a few pairs, if I’m being honest. When they arrived, I wore them every single day for a week. Not kidding; Monday through Friday and then I slept in them on Friday night because I am dedicated to research and development before I share with my readers. And maybe a little lazy too, but mostly just really dedicated. They didn’t get saggy, they never lost their shape, they didn’t get weird in the crotch. They’re like the holy grail of leggings, and I’m getting more for Christmas so leave a few pairs of the larges for me, please and thank you.

Satin pillowcases
After I roll my face with a rock (please see the jade roller paragraph above), I go to sleep on my satin pillowcase like the princess I am.  I’m sleeping on a satin pillow case because I’m a grandma, it’s better for my hair, and it’s easier on my skin too. Mostly my nighttime ritual has ruined all thoughts of romance for Chris Graham, but at least I’ll look younger than my peers.

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chodron
This book has been on my list for a while, and I finally pulled the trigger. I shall read it and give you a review in my monthly newsletter, but if you’re going through hard stuff or want to support someone who is, I think this one might be a good one.

Did I just help you start your Christmas list? Yes, yes, I did.


*DISCLOSURE: Affiliate links used.

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Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

What I Love: Valentine’s Day

It seems hypocritical to say I don’t want my kids to have a lot of Christmas presents and that our family is big on being responsible with our finances and then tell you about how big we do Valentine’s Day stuff.

If you’re new here, I’m a paradox. Welcome. I hope to confuse you as much as I can.

That’s not helpful, but here’s why I love Valentine’s Day: I love being reminded to tell my people I love them. I don’t care if it’s a greeting card created holiday. I don’t care if you think it’s cheesy. I don’t care if you think it’s a waste of time. I really enjoy celebrating my kids, my friends, and, also, my husband. I don’t get too invested in the romantic part of the holiday, but making feel others feel loved and special is a major draw for me.

The celebrating starts at our house on February 7th. Seven days before the big day, the Valentine’s Day mailboxes arrive in the living room. We’ve been doing this long enough that we’re on our second set of boxes, the first set having met an untimely death due to poor construction. (We started this tradition in 2012, and I’ve written about it before, like in this post from February 2013).

You can pick up boxes like these pretty much anywhere. Target’s Dollar Spot always has them in February and Hobby Lobby and Michael’s have similar ones. Amazon has some too, but you’ll pay more than you would if you grabbed them at the store. The first set we had were decorated, but I’m not that interested in making them cute anymore. Each box has their first initial on it with a permanent marker and that’s as fancy as we’re getting in 2018.

As the week before Valentine’s Day approaches, I pick up small gifts (they have to be able to fit in the mailbox) to surprise the girls with. I could easily get carried away with this, so I’m very aware of how much I’m spending and how much I’m gathering so I don’t get out of hand. This year, the girls are getting cat coin purses, little burlap sacks with fun erasers, Chapstick, animal figurines, stickers, Post-It notes, pens, window clings, candy, and kitty squishies.

[The cat coin purse came from Walmart. I can’t find it online, but I’m linking to this horrifying one instead. The price is similar but I wouldn’t give it to your kids unless you want them to cry. The burlap sacks, erasers, animal figurines, and window clings came from the Target Dollar Spot. The Chapstick came from…I’m not telling you. If you don’t know where to get Chapstick, get out of here and don’t come back. The kitty squishies came from Amazon.]

I’ve spent about $24 total for all the junk. Post-It notes and some stuff, I already had in my office stash. If I decided to put Post-It notes and rolls of tape in those boxes every day my kids would be thrilled. I’m totally serious.

One thing I’m adding this year is small notes to the girls. Each day, I’ll write something I love about them on a piece of paper and slip it in with their present. Little gifts are fun, but I’m also working hard to make sure they know their hearts and the gifts God gave them are a blessings to me. I want to speak life into the good I see in them.

Part of the fun of these boxes is the girls don’t know when their goodies will arrive. Sometimes they’ll wake up and the mailbox arms (flags?) will be up, signalling they have a delivery. Other times, it won’t be until after school. This unpredictability is partly to keep them guessing and partly because when this started, I would occasionally forget to put a surprise in there before they woke up and so I made the rule that the treasures can arrive at any point. Because I make the rules.

On Valentine’s Day, the girls will wake up to donuts, new plates, fun shirts to wear to school, and, this year, kitty backpacks. Listen, 2018 is the year of the cat in the Graham house. I refuse to have a real cat, but I will completely support all the cute cat stuff desires. I am here for cat pictures. I am not here for cat hair or litter boxes.

[I’m super-pumped about this “feminist” t-shirt the girls are getting. Cute, inexpensive plates from the Target Dollar Shop, and these shiny small backpacks from Amazon. *Before you click on that link, I did NOT pay this price for the bags. I follow an Amazon deals Instagram account; this girl posts crazy flash deals and I bought the backpacks for around $6. Follow @mamalikesadeal so you can get $40 backpacks for $6 too.*]

When the girls head to school, they’re taking some pretty sweet llama, cat, and unicorn cards and treats to their friends. I really love the cutesy, DIY Valentine’s Day cards moms make for their kids’ parties. What I don’t love (or have) is the actual patience or time to do them. So I pay a little extra to have someone else do the hard work, and I’ll just take all the credit.

Harper is taking cat and llama themed mini play packs with a little card attached. I picked up the packets (containing coloring book, sticker, and set of crayons) at the Target Dollar Spot and also grabbed a couple boxes of their cards. Harper will sign the cards, I’ll staple the cards to the play packs, and we’ll call it a day.

For Ellie, I ordered unicorn poop from Amazon and we’re attaching unicorn and rainbow themed cards to the bags. The unicorn poop are just colored mini marshmallows but you know some third graders are going to lose their little minds when they see some poop in their Valentine’s Day boxes.

I can’t wait for Ellie to hand out poop. This will be my proudest parenting moment thus far.

Does this seem overboard for a made-up holiday? Probably. But this is my time to shine. I don’t know why I love this time of the year so much, maybe it’s because I need a distraction from the winter blues I tend to get right about now. Whatever the reason, I take full advantage of the madness as an excuse to cover the house in hearts, wear pink and red at the same time, and eat excessive amounts of gummy candy.

*****

Visiting my archives, I realize I’ve been sharing the same over-excitement for Valentine’s Day for years. *pats self on back for being consistent* Here are some other Valentine’s Day-related posts I’ve written:
Writing love notes to my girlfriends
It’s okay, you’re allowed to like Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day mailboxes + gift ideas (my original Valentine’s Day gift post from 2013)
Vintage books: decorating for Valentine’s Day 
You’ve Got Mail (the original DIY mailboxes from 2012)


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9 Christmas gift book ideas from your favorite book recommender

(That title, am I right?)

I’ve been getting 10-15 phone calls a day asking about Christmas gift ideas so I’ve finally put together a list of fail-proof ideas for all the people on your list.

I’m just kidding about the phone calls. People know not to call me. If you called me, I would send it to voicemail, let the voicemail sit for a few days, and then delete it without listening to it.

Please never call me. Thanks.

But Christmas gift book ideas! People really do ask about that, just not via the dreadful telephone. And here’s what I’m telling the people:

For the creative doodler or a teenager girl: 30 Days of Peace or 30 Days of Joy
That designation might be misleading since I have both of these in my stack to complete in 2018, and I am neither of those title. Both of these one-month creative journals are full of scriptures to encourage, space to draw or doodle, and writing prompts to help cultivate a heart of peace or one full of joy. So really, these journals would work for anyone. They’re not overwhelming or time-consuming, but small bites to help you breath in some scripture and then live in the truth they’re sharing. If someone you know could use a new way to read scripture or just likes to be creative in their quiet time, these would be good gifts.

For small kids: the My Little Cities series by Jennifer Adams
These amazing board books introduce little kids to different cities around the world (Paris, London, San Francisco, and New York). The illustrations by Greg Pizzoli are beautiful and the simple rhyming phrases are great for those little brains acquiring new words on a daily basis. We have some friends who’ve spent the last ten years traveling the world and just had their first baby (Hi, Rhett!). We’re going to meet the little guy today and these books are perfect gift for him. (If you’re getting the books for toddlers, they have a super cute matching game to go with the series as well.)

For the goal-setter: The Daily Bible
I’ve shared this multiple times this year, but I’m nearing the end and still loving it. The Daily Bible is a chronological reading of the Bible to be completed in one year. Besides reading the Bible in the order it actually happened (which is opening my eyes in a whole new way), it also has commentary and insights that make it easier to understand, help connect dots, and pose thoughtful questions. I can’t tell you enough how highly I recommend this Bible.

For the self-help guru: The Road Back to You
If you’ve been paying attention the past month or two, I’ve become obsessed with the Enneagram. The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile has given me a life-changing shift in my thinking. I see weaknesses and strengths better and it’s making me more compassionate and kind to others and myself. It’s given me renewed energy for healthy relationships and helping me to relate better to people. This book would be an amazing introduction to anyone who likes to learn about personality types. I love that this book acknowledges we were all made in His image and getting back to a healthy spot that glorifies God and gives us our best selves is a noble journey.

For the hurried soul: The Daily Question
This would make a great stocking stuffer or gift exchange addition. The Daily Question is a five-year spiritual journal. It would take two to three minutes a day to fill out, and be such a neat way to look back at your personal growth and progress. Each day has a prompt (like when did you have to be honest even though it wasn’t easy?, who brought you joy today? and in what circumstances are you able to put your gifts to best use?) and a year for you to fill in. You answer in a few lines and then don’t come back to that prompt again for a year–I’m starting this in January and can’t wait to see how my answers change over the next few years.

For the conscious food-lover: Food Rules
Food Rules: An Eater’s Manual by Michael Pollan and illustrated by Maira Kalman is beautiful to look at and full of simple, yet practical ways to think about food. If you’ve got someone on your Christmas list who loves talking food, is interested in the clean food movement, or just loves to collect books on food (*ahem* me), this would be a welcome gift.

For the social justice advocate: The Hate You Give
Don’t skip this recommendation when I mention it’s a young adult novel. YA novels get such a bad rap, but The Hate You Give by Angie Thomas on the shooting of an unarmed black teenager is important and compelling. Get it for your favorite teenager and then ask to borrow it when they’re done.

For the anxious worrier: This I Know
This one is a Bible study that comes out in January so pre-order it now and have it arrive to your favorite worrier in January when they’re too cold to leave the house. Or buy it for your girlfriends and start 2018 with a Bible study. This I Know: Trusting Your Unknown Future to a Known God by Laura Dingman is for anyone who has felt lost, out-of-control, or consumed by doubt and worry. I had the honor of reading this study in the fall (and writing an endorsement so look for my compelling short paragraph blurb in the front *pats self on back*), and it was exactly the reminder I needed when things felt so hopeless. Reading God is trustworthy versus living like God is trustworthy are two very different things and This I Know helps us figure out how to the second one well.

For your mom: 31 Proverbs to Light Your Path
This is legit for my mom, so Ruth go somewhere else for this paragraph. 31 Proverbs to Light Your Path by Liz Curtis Higgs would make a great addition to a bedside book stack (everyone has one of those, right??). I love reading Proverbs because each nugget seems so wise and timely that I end up highlighting the whole book. It’s probably a little much. The scriptures in this book were chosen by hundreds of women as their favorites and Curtis Higgs helps the reader examine them with humor and encouragement. Reading one every day or just sporadically will still fill your favorite mom-reader with truth and light. (Is it weird to say this is a mom book? I’m allowed to say that because I’m a mom. I am tempted to keep it for myself.)

Okay, I’m out of clever titles, but here are the books my kids are getting under the tree this year: The Action Bible (it’s the Bible as a graphic novel!), the newest Dairy of a Wimpy Kid book for Ellie (The Getaway), and a box set of Owl Diaries for Harper.

What books are you getting your favorite people this year? Share them below–you know we all need shopping help.

Also! I’m giving away copies of many of these books on Facebook and Instagram book account this week so keep your eyes peeled to get a copy just in time for Christmas.

DISCLOSURE: THIS POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS.
DISCLOSURE: THIS IS A SPONSORED POST BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MINE AND YOU KNOW I’M NOT TELLING YOU TO BUY SOMETHING I DON’T ACTUALLY LOVE.

2017 goals: thirty days

I am mostly indifferent to New Year’s resolutions. I make new goals whenever I feel led and then try to change lifestyle habits when I realize they’re not working or I’m not happy. But I understand the love of a fresh start and a calendar change that spurs those New Year’s resolutions.

As we rounded out 2016, I started reflecting on where I’d been and where I wanted to go. Most of the things I wished I done or wanted to start doing were small changes I had attempted before but never wholeheartedly. I am really good at starting but less good at going the distance. I’m sure I’m the only one like this.

With that in mind, here’s what I’m doing for 2017: small, 30-day goals. Each month this year, I’ll be focusing on something I either want to incorporate into my daily life and need help making it a habit or something I want/need to get done and won’t ever do it unless I clear the time/energy for it. Each month will have a different focus and a different goal. Like January, I’m just focusing on getting back in the rhythm of reading my Bible every single day. I was getting lazy about it even though I know how much I need this in my daily life. So January is all about getting back into the habit. This isn’t just a one-month goal, but something I want to do long term.

February will be spent focusing on a thankfulness journal. I want to work on being more intentional about noticing how much goodness is in my life and be more vocal about my thanks. Of course, I will be buying a new journal for this. I’m also planning on including the girls in this month of thankfulness journaling also.

I know this seems to be a dying art, but I love handwritten notes and letters. So in March, I’m going to write a letter a day. To friends, to family members, to random people I want to encourage. I’ll buy a few books of stamps and begin to actually use all the cute stationary I buy but never seem to use. Obviously, I won’t keep this up long term, but I hope it sparks a desire for me to do this more often once the month is up.

thirty days

April is going to be dedicated to finally putting my book proposal chapters together. I don’t know how many times I’ve said this and then not done it. But this is it. April is for writing chapters.

May is going to be thirty (…one…) days of new recipes. All those pins on Pinterest. All those cookbooks I hoard. All those recipes I’ve seen on TV. I’m going to make them. I’m going to try one new recipe a day. It might be a muffin recipe for breakfast, a side for dinner, or a Crockpot meal for a busy Saturday–whatever it is, I’d really like to try some new recipes and find some new family favorites to bring into the usual rotation.

In June I want to run every single day. I’ve strategically picked June for my month of running because I’ll be about a month out from my spring half marathons, and I know myself well enough to know that I’m probably going to take a “short break” to recover in May and then just keep “recovering” for longer than I need. I don’t have to run long distances–I’m saying at least one mile a day–but I want June to be about running.

In July I want to write every day. This is different than April’s writing for the book proposal; this will be writing just to write. Some of it might make it to the blog. Some of it won’t. Some of it will be for others and some of it will be for myself. For a few years now I’ve wanted to get into the daily habit of writing. Some writers write a certain number of words every day whether they’re good or not. Others write for a set time. I don’t know the specifics yet, but in July I’ll be done with school (and maybe traveling?) so I figured this would be the best month to attempt a daily writing habit. I hope it will, in some form or another, last longer than a month.

August. Oh, August. You are busy and chaotic and messy. Both the girls will be back in school and I’ll be starting to feel the overwhelming to-do list of a new school year as well. So with intention, I’m making August a month where I make sure to play with my kids every single day. I don’t play with my kids much. I mean, we’re together all the time, we read books often, we’re normally in the same rooms together, but sitting down and engaging my kids in play doesn’t happen very much. I know typically August is a crowded month and enjoying my kids can get lost in the mix so I want to be intentional about pausing and playing with them.

September will be more writing. I’ve been brainstorming e-book ideas and have some things I’m excited about, but again, I’ve just never sat down and done them. Mostly it’s about time. Sort of it’s about being lazy. By September, I want to have narrowed down my ideas to one and get an e-book put together for my readers.

The remaining months-October, November, and December-are still open. I’m not sure what my thirty-ish days of those months will be about yet, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something as the year progresses.

I’m really excited about my thirty day goals. They feel manageable and not overwhelming. I get to test some things out and see if I’d like to do them long term, and I also get to spend some focused, intentional time completing tasks I’ve been putting off. I like looking at the calendar and knowing what’s coming. I also like the reality that I only have to do something for thirty days and then I’m allowed to quit if I want to.

I really like an escape option.

What about you? Any goals or resolutions this year? Adamantly against them? Love them? Tell me what you’re thinking!

an altar call

Hey, it’s almost Christmas Eve. Did you know that this whole holiday, this whole Jesus-coming-to-Earth thing was for you?

No, really, YOU.

The creator of our world, the God who knows how many stars are in the sky, how many grains of sand are on the beach, and how many hairs you have on your head, came to Earth just for you.

He would have done it if you were the only one. How wonderful is that? Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming, I agree. I feel so undeserving. Maybe you feel that way, too.

But the good news is He would do it all over again, knowing all the ways you have messed up, all the ways you’re going to mess up, and all the ways you’re going to fall short. Because we all fall short.

an altar call

Guys, He just loves us. He just wants good for us. And He left his throne on high to take the form of a babe in a manger, to be scorned by those he came to save, and to die an ugly, brutal death. FOR YOU. FOR ME.

OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM.
OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM.
OH, COME LET US ADORE HIM.
CHRIST THE LORD.

Maybe you’ve been quietly lurking and reading here for a while now. Maybe this is your first time reading my words. Maybe you’ve known me since I was a kid and you’re still shocked I can spell. Maybe you’ve been feeling a little something in your heart, a gentle tugging, that says you don’t know all the answers, but you want this Jesus guy. You want to do life with Him, not because it’s easier, but because it’s just better. Wouldn’t it be such a great story to start your new life today? Every year you could celebrate His birth and your rebirth, because Christmas is for you, after all.

If you’re in the Indy area tomorrow, I’m inviting you to my church. We would love to have you, to celebrate a birthday, our Savior’s, and yours too, if you’d like. Or find someplace close to you, go worship our King. I can tell you the adventure He’ll take you on will be wild and reckless and scary. But it will also be life-giving and good and so so worth it.

So this? This is an altar call on a blog on the day before Christmas Eve. Because He told me to do this, while I was worshiping weeks ago and even though it feels scary and completely out of my comfort zone, I’m doing it. Because He’s for you and you–on this most holy holiday–need to know that.

Merry Christmas, you.

THIS POST ORIGINALLY APPEARED ON DEC. 24, 2014, BUT I LIKE TO REPUBLISH IT EVERY YEAR BECAUSE IT’S STILL TRUE AND NOT BECAUSE I AM TOO LAZY TO WRITE A DIFFERENT POST.

bless their little bratty hearts

We grabbed the stockings and headed to the store. We’d done this last year too, so the girls knew the drill: pick out small toys and candy to put in the stocking for a girl or boy whose family couldn’t afford the extra expenses of Christmas. Once filled, we’d bring the stockings back to our church and they’d be used as part of a shopping event for area families.

The ironic part is our church which is about a 15 minute drive from our house and in a different township brings all the stuff right back to our town to distribute them. My daughters go to school every day with the kids that were going to get the stockings we filled.

In the store, red socks in hand, Ellie and Harper picked out things they wanted for Christmas and put them in. Stuffed animals and whoopie cushions, gum and Sour Patch Kids. They are professional kids who know what other kids want.

Except when it came time to leave, Harper lost her mind. She wanted the whoopie cushion. She didn’t want to give it to someone else. She wanted that delicious gum. Santa needed to bring her that stuff, she didn’t want someone else to have it.

We left the store with a very unhappy five year old and a slightly annoyed seven year old as she too realized the injustice involved in this shopping excursion for someone other than themselves.

Bless their little bratty hearts.

I feel like we talk all the time about others and serving them. We often pray at bedtime for those not warm in beds or with a place to stay out of the rain. We remind them often as we’re driving or shopping or traveling that so many people don’t get to do these things and it’s not normal for a lot of the kids they are growing up around.

We talk and talk and talk. We show and show and show. We model and model and model. We share and share and share.

bless their little bratty hearts

I felt like they were–if not mastering the art of caring for other–at least aware of their privilege and excess.

I was wrong.

A week or two later, Ellie’s teacher sent home information about their Christmas party. This year they were doing a party in a box. The premise is you fill a shoe box with a juice box, a salty treat, a sweet treat, and a unisex toy that costs about $5. The kids are to wrap their boxes and bring them to school. On the day of the party, they sit in a circle and pass boxes around at teacher direction. Everyone ends up with a different box to open and enjoy.

It’s kinda brilliant, actually.

As we left the church parking lot Saturday night, we headed to Target to fill Ellie’s box. At the bottom of the instruction sheet the teacher sent, there was an invitation to send in more than one box if you could afford to so that kids who couldn’t supply one would be able to participate. I told Ellie she could pick out enough stuff to send in a few extra boxes since we’d already be shopping and it would be easy to share with others.

She immediately said she didn’t want to do that and got mad.

What? Why don’t you want to bring in some extras for kids that might not get presents? You’re not buying this with your own money–it’s our money, you just get to pick out some stuff and wrap it up!

Nope. She was adamantly against bringing in more than her box.

At this point, I started crying. What the hell? What were we doing wrong that our kids just didn’t want to share but actively fought against it? Who were these horrible little human beings we are raising? Could we get new ones? Perhaps the ones that don’t have anything and would be a little more grateful for their things and also aware of the needs of others?

I realize being self-aware at five and seven is hard. I get that when your parents shield you from much of what goes on in the world but expect you to be compassionate and tender-hearted when you live in a bubble is ironic, but shouldn’t they be a little better about this? It doesn’t even require sacrifice on their parts. We’re not taking their money away. We’re not asking them to give up things. We’re not taking anything from them to give to others. We’re just sharing our abundance with others.

And they are completely against it.

I don’t even have a redeeming story or idea with this post, I’m just sharing how selfish my kids are. You’d think after years of making a point to share with others and to give so much, we’d be getting good at this.

We’re still fighting against it at every turn though. Maybe that’s the point–that some things never get easier, you just keep doing them anyway. Like getting up early to go to the gym every morning. I’ve been doing that since May and it’s still a fight every single day. I imagined that eventually I’d bound out of bed, ready for the hour of sweating I’d been doing for months and months. Not excited, but at least accepting.

But every morning I still think about not doing it, dream about skipping the workout. Maybe I’m more like my kids than I realize.

At Target, I bought enough stuff for three Christmas boxes. I ignored my daughter’s protests, told her it broke my heart she didn’t want to make the extra boxes, and did it anyway. The next day she excitedly wrapped up all three shoe boxes. She didn’t want to carry the others to school so Chris had to drop them off. I asked her if it embarrassed her to carry more than one and she said no so I have NO IDEA why this was such a big deal.

I still don’t get it.

As a parent, I make my kids eat vegetables at dinner even though they dislike most of them. I send them to bed at 7:30 because they need to be rested and ready for school the next day. They have to brush their teeth twice a day even though their father doesn’t follow this rule. I require them to take a bath every other day so they’re not the stinky kids at school. And I make them share: with each other, with people they don’t know, with people they will never meet.

It’s all painful and hard. They fight us at every turn, but I know because I’m older and wiser and I read things on the internet, that most of what I’m requiring them to do will be beneficial for them, either short or long term or both. I’m the expert and they’re the students. I have knowledge to share with them! And I will shove it down their throats if I have to.

So that’s what we’re doing this Christmas at the Graham house–shoving sharing down our kids’ throats. It’s as magical as it sounds.

Merry Christmas.

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