Mary Graham

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Book Club Ideas & Lists

I’ve lost count of the number of great things to come out of my time with my friend Jessi at the Front Room Studio, but one of them is my book club.

I started hosting a monthly book club because we had the space, the time, and the desire to talk books with fellow readers. No longer being in a school building meant I wasn’t sharing YA books with students or talking about our current reads at department meetings. For years, I’ve shared book reviews online in one form or another, but I wanted to talk about books with people face-to-face.

Enter: a book club

Eventually, we closed the Front Room Studio, but the book club just moved. We met at the library. We met on Zoom. We met at a local coffee shop. We finally made our way to a nearby Mexican restaurant and that’s where we’ve been for over a year. Chips and salsa and books, what more could you want?

I used to share our book club lists and invite anyone local to join us. I’d post them on my blog and share them on social media. We’ve settled into a constant small group and aren’t looking to grow or add people now, but people have still expressed interest in our lists. As a reader who will never not listen to a book recommendation even if I have shelves of unread books waiting to be read at home, I love to see what other people are reading. I even know of a few people who aren’t local who love to read along with our lists, just because it’s fun.

Maybe that’s you. Or maybe not, go ahead and move along. For those interested, I’m sharing our past and present book club lists here.

A few things before we get into the lists:
– I’ve evolved in my creation of these lists. The first one (2018) was just a random collection of books Jessi and I had on our shelves that we wanted to read. I learned that wasn’t the best way to compile a list.
– I’ve become intentional about including BIPOC authors and worked to include storylines a little less mainstream.
– Because I do this for work, I’m aware of which months are dedicated to celebrating certain people groups (May is Asian American Heritage Month, November is Native American Heritage Month, etc.). I’ve tried to select titles to honor those months when I can.
– Last year (?) I began asking fellow book club members for suggestions as well. It took some of the pressure off me, especially when a book didn’t go over well. Now every November, everyone brings at least one book suggestion for next year. Because we are all book lovers, everyone typically bring 3-5 books, and I’m tasked with narrowing it down. This is a job I love. (People suggest books they haven’t read or ones they’ve read and loved—there’s no rules.)
– In December, we each bring a wrapped book for a little gift exchange, and I share the reading list for the following year. As we sat around the table last month, we decided that 2023 would be a year of romance and mystery fiction. We’ve never declared a theme or goal like that, but 2022 seemed to be filled with heavier non-fiction and we’d like a reset. You’ll see that reflected in the 2023 list.
– I’m sharing our complete lists with no commentary on the books. Some of them we liked. Some of them we did not. Some of them we disagreed on. Some of us (all of us) have skipped a book once or twice. Occasionally you just have to show up to book club for the chips and salsa. Life happens and sometimes a book does not. No one cares, even though we will do a little bit of book shaming to kick off the meeting just for funsies. We don’t all have the same religious or political affiliations, so that leads to interesting and thoughtful conversations. If you’re looking to start a book club, I highly recommend people outside your immediate circle.

Okay, I think that’s it. Please enjoy these book club lists. Steal them and use them for your own club. Pick and choose a few that sound interesting. Read along at home with our current one and tell me what you think when I post the review on Instagram. Do whatever your little heart desires. I just hope you’re reading books, good books that stretch your heart and mind and world.

(I was going to link all of these to my Amazon store, but the amount of work that would take for, maybe, $3 of income is just not worth it. Obviously. You buy them from your favorite bookseller. Good luck.)

2019 Selections
January: Educated by Tara Westover
February: Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
March: Option B by Sheryl Sandberg
April: The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
May: The Luckiest Girl Alive by Jessica Knoll
June: Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist
July: $2 a Day by Kathryn Edin & Luke Shaefer
August: Made You Up by Francesca Zappia
September: Breaking Free by Rachel Jeffs
October: Shopgirl by Steve Martin
November: Shrill by Lindy West
December: Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

2020 Selections
January: Mothers, Daughters, and Body Image by Hillary L. McBride
February: Wilder Girls by Rory Power
March: Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson
April: Boy Toy by Barry Lygo
May: Ruthless Gods by Emily A. Duncan
June: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
July: Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson
August: Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson
September: Rabbit by Patricia Williams
October: Summer of ’69 by Elin Hilderbrand
November: Gather the Daughters by Jennie M
December: Anxious People by Frederick Backman

2021 Selections
January: Lake Life by David James
February: Kindred by Octavio Butler
March: The Book of Lost Friends by Lisa Wingate
April: The Lowland by Jhumpa L
May: Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan
June: Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan
July: Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley Ford
August: My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward by Mark L
September: Washington Black by Esi E
October: American Fire by Monica
November: Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
December: The Inexplicable… by Benjamine A

2022 Selections
January: Naked by David Sedaris
February: Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides
March: How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents by Julia Alvarez
April: Wholehearted Faith by Rachel Held Evans
May: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
June: The Push by Ashley Audrain
July: The Year We Left Home by Jean Thompson
August: What Is a Girl Worth? by Rachel Denhollander
September: Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward
October: The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai
November: Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer
December: The Sweetness of Forgetting by Kristin Harmel

And here’s what we’re reading next year.

2023 Selections
January: Start With Hello by Shannan Martin
February: Confessions of an Alleged Good Girl by Joya Goffney
March: We Should Hang Out Sometime by John Sundquist
April: All My Rage by Sabaa Tahir
May: Our Missing Hearts by Celeste Ng
June: The Idea of You by Robinne Lee
July: Red at the Bone by Jacqueline Woodson
August: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin
September: This is the Story of a Happy Marriage by Ann Patchett
October: The Resting Place by Camilla Sten
November: Fire Keeper’s Daughter by Angeline Boulley
December: Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson

I’m confident you can find your next good read from this list. If you want my opinion on most of the past selections, you can find them on Instagram: @themarygrahamreads.

Happy reading!

Favorite Books of 2022

I read a little over 120 books this year. I only know this because I like to share reviews on Instagram, and I just went back and counted all of them. Don’t suggest something logical or easy like GoodReads, I’m not going to use it. I have an account I haven’t looked at in years. Sorry not sorry.

I know there are a few books I never posted on IG, because I sometimes forget to take pictures of books before I returned them to the library, but I think 140 is a pretty safe assertion.

I have a hard time telling you what my favorite books are. Do you want the best based on writing style and sentence structure? The best based on my inability to put it down? The best twist? The ones that made me laugh the most? I don’t want to hurt any books’ feelings. I read lots of good books this year. I also read some bad books this year and quit a few because I learned in my 30s I don’t want to waste my time with bad books.

So here’s my list for 2022. I tried to pick a little of everything, but this is like picking a favorite child (my dogs, my favorite children are my dogs…). Apologies to the other books I read this year and loved that did not make the list. I still love you too.

The Great Believers by Rebecca Makkai (link)
The Great Believers is a story about a woman growing up in the 80s during the height of the AIDS crisis. Her brother dies of AIDS before the story starts, and we follow her and her friends (his friends, too) through a heartbreaking time of love, loss, and confusion. I loved this story and felt so invested in these boys’ lives. It was beautiful and horrible. I still think about this story months later.

The Golden Couple by Greer Hendrick and Sarah Pekkanen (link)
This one hooked me from the first page. The twists! The unreliable narrator! The mental games! I never knew what was coming next or who to trust, and I loved it. This book is a perfect vacation read, something to keep you up late at night. Don’t read this one if you are short on time, because once you get started it will be hard to stop this fun book.

The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne (link)
This is one of the best books I’ve ever read. The Heart’s Invisible Furies by John Boyne is a beautiful and sad story of Cyril Avery, a boy born to an unwed teenage girl in 1940’s Ireland. The way Boyne weaves history and Avery’s journey to know himself is stunning. It took a while to get into this book and to find the rhythm of the story/language, but once I was in, I could not have enjoyed it more. I laughed out loud on multiple occasions and cried hard at the end. I did not want this story to be over.

Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (link)
It took me forever to read Braiding Sweetgrass, but only because it’s so thoughtful and wise that I needed time to digest Wall Kimmerer’s essays. I own the paperback copy and borrowed the audiobook from the library, and it was nice going back and forth between the two.

This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub (link)
I hesitate to explain too much about This Time Tomorrow because if I had known what it was about, I probably wouldn’t have picked it up. It’s got a science fiction element and that genre is not normally my jam. But this book was wonderful and sad and touching. The main character, Alice, has a close relationship with her father and as he lies in a hospital bed dying, she wakes up one morning to relive her 16th birthday. From there, the story goes full-on time travel. Again, I would have quit this one if I had seen that phrase ahead of time, but I’m so glad I didn’t. This is a love story, a story about the love between a parent and a child, and I’m so glad I didn’t miss it.

Counterfeit by Kirstin Chen (link)
Counterfeit by Kirstin Chen is just fun. I started it on a Friday night and spent the next 24 hours consuming this book. I assume they’ll make a movie of it sometime soon, so read it before that happens. I love the schemes, the friendship, the unreliable narrator, the whole thing—if you’re looking for a book to not put down, this is for you.

Everything Sad is Untrue by Daniel Nayeri (link)
I picked Everything Sad is Untrue because of the beautiful writing and storytelling. I’ve not read a book like this before and, while it took me a while to find the rhythm, once I did, I loved Nayeri’s stories, observations, and memories. Being an immigrant child in America is such a disorienting experience and Nayeri encompasses the heartache, confusion, and chaos well.

Did Ye Hear Mammy Died? by Seamas O’Reilly (link)
Please listen to the audiobook version of this book. I don’t think I’ve giggled so much from one book. It’s sad (O’Reilly’s mother dies when he’s young), but he shares his childhood in Ireland as one of 11 children. I wish I could write this clear and cleverly. If you liked the show Derry Girls, this should be your next read…er, listen.

What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry and Oprah Winfrey (link)
First off, I don’t think Oprah really adds anything to this book (she shares she’s never been to therapy and that’s a huge red flag for me), but Perry’s insights, lessons, and stories are profound. I think What Happened to You? is something everyone should read. It is such a kind, merciful way of thinking about relationships, people, and why we do what we do. If you’ve been meaning to read The Body Keeps the Score but have been put off because it’s so heavy and technical, this book is a great replacement.

The Man Who Died Twice by Richard Osman (link)
I didn’t realize The Man Who Died Twice was the second book in the Thursday Murder Club series but I’m sharing this one because it’s the book that made me love this series, the characters, and the writing. Osman’s stories are a mix of Murder She Wrote (old people solving mysteries!) and the Golden Girls (the snappy writing! the attitudes!). After I read this one, I went back and read the first book. It was delightful as well, but I really just loved the second one more. The third book came out this year, and it’s sitting in my queue to be read as I type this. I am ridiculously excited about it. This series is just really fun.

Every Last Secret by A.R. Torre (link)
Rounding out my list with this psychological thriller about a woman whose neighbor is trying to steal her husband. Every Last Secret is full of mind games, manipulation, and twists. It’s the perfect book to read this winter if your goal is to not leave the house for a few days.

11 books to read this summer

Even though my kids go back to school in less than a month, I feel like summer is just getting started. The days are still hot and sticky, the idea of cooler weather and fall leaves seems impossible.

So here are eleven books you should read this endless summer. You have plenty of time.

People We Meet on Vacation by Emily Henry
I listen to a lot of audiobook in the summer. Between afternoon walks, hours on the lawn mower, and working in the garden, I have a lot of time to listen to stuff. People We Meet on Vacation was such a fun way to fill some time. Henry is great at writing dialogue which, I think, can make or break a story, and even though you know this love story will work out in the end (it has to! that’s the way the genre works!), it’s still engaging and interesting. Emily Henry writes good beach reads so she has to be on a summer reading list.

Nobody Will Tell You This But Me by Bess Kalb
I finished this book on the way back from a camping trip and sobbed as we rolled down the highway. At one point, Chris asked if I wanted him to pull over. Why would I tell you to read a book that gutted me in the end? Because you have to meet Kalb’s grandma. You have to learn about her family. You have to listen to her stories. You have to. And in some powerful-yet-inexplicable way, you learn about your own family in the process.

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal
Okay, so I know it says “erotic” in the title, but I assumed it wasn’t literal because it’s followed by “for Punjabi Widows” but I was kinda wrong. This one is a little spicy so if that’s not your thing, go ahead and skip this one. But for everyone still reading, this book about women living in an oppressive culture who find their own footing and change their community is beautiful to read.

The Lowlands by Jhumpa Lahiri
Don’t judge a book by its cover or you’ll assume this one is boring. I picked it for book club a few months ago and someone said it was probably going to be lame because it had some fiction prizes noted on the cover. But they were wrong and this book was really good. Definitely not one I’d normally be drawn to, but Lahiri’s story of two brothers born in Calcutta in the 1960s. Their relationship and family life is, like most peoples, complicated. When obligation and secrets make them unknown to each other, one brother spends the rest of his life wondering who his brother really was and how he still has so much impact on his life. (I listened to the audiobook version of this and it helped with all the names and places; I think I would have struggled a little more with it if I had read it.)

Our house was under construction this spring as we added a new front porch and now that it’s (mostly) done, we spend hours reading and rocking and talking on our new favorite spot.
The naked butt chair. IYKYK.
Early mornings while camping are best for coffee, good books, and freshly picked blueberries from the bushes near our campsite.

Grown by Tiffany D. Jackson
So this one is labeled young adult, but it’s definitely something I’d want to read with older teens because there is so much to talk about. Grown is loosely based on the R. Kelly child abuse cases and follows the story of Enchanted Jones as she’s groomed and abused by a hip hop star. This one is hard to read in parts because you can see the danger and abuse, but Enchanted is a naive teenage girl who doesn’t understand what’s happening. Grown is a powerful story about a topic we can’t shy away from because it could literally save young women.

The Guest List by Lucy Foley
Foley writes modern Agatha Christie books and I’m here for the thrills and mystery. There’s a creepy island, a wedding with lots of strangers, and so many secrets. I read this one in less than 24 hours—it’s a great stay-up-late story for vacation, a long weekend, or a Tuesday night.

The Bookish Life of Nina Hill by Abbi Waxman
You could probably read The Bookish Life of Nina Hill if you’re really committed and don’t want to leave the couch this weekend. I liked this story of a quirky woman obsessed with books who doesn’t see how her mother’s death has made her lonely and unable to trust people. Of course, a cute guy shows up to help her see the error of her ways. But in the end, she saves herself, which is really the only way. (This one gave me about five other books I wanted to read too; she references so many books and they all sound good. So have your reading list handy while reading this one.)

The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi
Set in 1950’s India, The Henna Artist follows the story of a women who flees her marriage to live on her own in a new city. At a time when women were only as important as the men they were married to, she learns a trade and become self-sufficient while refusing to become attached to a man. Eventually, some people from her past arrive to the remind her of who she is and things start to fall apart. I loved this immersion into Indian culture, food, and clothing. The descriptions are wonderful and vivid. This book comes with a big dose of the travel bug. Just a heads up, there is a storyline that involves babies and loss, so if those are tender spots for you, this is one you might want to skip. (I listened to the audiobook version of this one, and it helped with names and places I would have stumbled over.)

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah
Hi, this one will make you cry. But it’s so beautiful and well written and lovely that you should read it even though you know it’s gonna break your heart. The Nightingale is set in France during World War II and follows the story of two sisters and their very different, but still heroic responses to German occupation. Hannah is a master storyteller and, while some of her books feel like they’re made to manipulate our emotions, this one feels different.

Evie Drake Starts Over by Lunda Holmes
Evie Drake was loading the car to leave her abusive husband when she gets the call that he’s died in a car wreck. A year later, she’s still playing the grieving spouse while keeping the secret of her unhealthy marriage when Dean, a baseball player who lost his magic, comes back to town. Of course, they fall in love. But—and here’s the best part—the way she handles her pain and secrets to make things right before going forward is why I loved this book. I’ve had enough therapy to no longer enjoy codependent romances where all the problems “suddenly” go away because people are in love and being healthy has ruined a lot of chick lit for me. But this one holds up.

One to Watch by Kate Stayman-London
I don’t watch reality TV and I’ve never seen the Bachelorette or the Bachelor (I know, *gasp*), but I really liked One to Watch, a book about a plus-size blogger going on a reality dating show. The story is fun, but also addresses body images, the lies we tell ourselves about fat people, and the confusing/icky way we have turned love into an entertaining game. I read this one on vacation this winter and it was a perfect vacation read.

What are you reading right now? Anything I need to add to my list for this endless summer? Lemme know!

DISCLOSURE: Affiliate links used

21 feel good books to read right now

Let’s keep it light, shall we? Even if you are mentally doing okay during this weird stay-at-home time, you don’t need to read books that feel too dark or heavy. I’m an introvert who LOVES to stay home and last week I started to read a book that was really abstract and complicated. I read to page 30 and quit.

There’s a time and a place for intricate, intellectual books. For sure. It’s not good to *just* read light fluffy things. Your brain might turn into a light, fluffy blob and you could forget how to have emotions and deep thoughts. But right now? Right now when lots of people are struggling and there is anxiety and worry and unknown?

Bring on the enjoyable, light reads. Here are ones I think you’ll like right now:

Beholding and Becoming: The Art of Everyday Worship by Ruth Chou Simons
I’m starting my mornings with this breath of fresh air. Beholding and Becoming is Biblical wisdom plus beautiful artwork. I think it’s even more important than ever to start the day in some silence and reflection. This book will help you quiet your heart before things get busy. After I’m done reading, I love to just sit and take in the artwork. It’s really that good.

American Royals by Katharine McGee
I listened to American Royals in December while I was in the kitchen doing hours and hours of holiday baking. That is not a complaint, I love making cookies and candy. The more the merrier. I don’t stay in one place long enough to watch Hallmark Channel movies while I bake, so I purposefully listen to delightful, entertaining chick lit. I loved this spin on America’s royal family (George Washington wasn’t our first president, he was our first king!) and the modern-day story of his ancestors. The bad news is I had no idea this was the beginning of a series so as I neared the end (I didn’t know it was the end because audiobook) and so many things were left unresolved, I almost threw my phone. The next one comes out in September so just be prepared.

The Cactus by Sarah Haywood
This one is similar to Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman (another great book!). Not the same story, but it has the same feel. I loved The Cactus. It’s awkward and wonderful. Susan’s mom has just died, and she’s trying to sort out family dynamics, relationships, and secrets. There are a few sad parts in this, but it is just so lovely and enjoyable that if you’re feeling up to it, I think this one will brighten your day, possibly even make you laugh. (This isn’t a spoiler, but Susan is an adult child of an alcoholic; this has shaped her life in profound ways–as it does–and it might be a little hard to read for someone who relates to that personally.)

Becoming by Michelle Obama
I could listen to stories from her all day long. Reading the book is enjoyable, but hearing her read her book on Audible is even better. This book made me want to read other First Lady autobiographies. I loved the history, the behind-the-scene glimpses, and the honesty of what is, on most days, a less glamorous life than it would seem. Becoming is a happy read even when some of the stuff isn’t light and fluffy.

Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner
This is young adult fiction done well. The story is about two high school girls and their friendship. Don’t be thrown off by the male author though; I was really skeptical of this dynamic and Zentner does teenage girl relationships justice. The focus of the story is their friendship and love for each other. Two smart, funny girls who are best friends. There’s a little boyfriend romance, but it’s not the point which made me love this one a lot. I think you or your favorite YA reader will like this one.

Heartburn by Nora Ephron
Nora Ephron, am I right? I listened to this one last week, and it just THRILLED me. So clever and funny with a great storyline. This was published in the 80s, but it still holds up. The main character is a cookbook author and she tells the story of the demise of her marriage with a side of recipes and food. I can’t tell you how many times I laughed during this book which is a weird thing to say when I’ve just told you it’s about her marriage ending, but there it is. I think I’m finding a new appreciation for Ephron as I get older. As soon as I returned this to the library, I requested another one. Nora Ephron is getting me through the coronavirus. (BONUS: the audio book is read by Meryl Streep and I’m going to need her to read every single audio book I listen to from now on. I’m sure this one would be enjoyable read or listened to, but if you can get the audio book version, do not miss it.)

Everybody Always by Bob Goff
Bob Goff is just joy. He’s got a story for every situation and sees the world with such magical eyes. If you’re having even the slightest hard time loving people right now (I do when I read the news or see how some people are behaving right now), then Everybody Always by Bob Goff will get you back in the spirit of love and grace and mercy.

The Secret to Hummingbird Cake by Celeste Fletcher McHale
The Secret to Hummingbird Cake is along the lines of Steel Magnolias: southern women, friendship, marriage, and secrets. I’d describe this one as a beach read but since no one is allowed to go to the beach, read this one at home right now. There are some sad parts in this, but nothing that will destroy you.

We Are Never Meeting in Real Life by Samantha Irby
Okay, this is not for everyone. But maybe it’s for you? Irby writes with honesty, sarcasm, and curse words. She makes me uncomfortable with her very *real* stories but she’s such a good writer, I’ll keep reading her even if I don’t want to. (That is a strange book recommendation. I’ll give you that.)

Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy
Don’t watch the Netflix movie version until you read this book. Dumplin’ is a fun and empowering YA novel that adults will love too. There is some loss and sadness in here, but the end will save your heart. Afterward, you’ll probably need to download some Dolly Parton greatest hits albums.

Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married by Marian Keyes
Do you have that one book that you could read again and again just because it’s lovely and comforting? Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married is that for me. I love Marian Keyes. She was the first chick lit author I fell in love with (*gulp*) about twenty years ago, and, while I haven’t read anything from her recently, stay-at-home orders are the perfect time to get caught up or be introduced to her for the first time.

A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel
I don’t know if I loved A Girl Name Zippy because Kimmel’s a Hoosier, but her stories are thoughtful, funny, and engaging. Her childhood was eventful and her memories of it will entertain you. After you read this, read She Got Up Off the Couch about her mother and how she changed her life once her kids were grown. It’s not as light as A Girl Named Zippy, but I just love this family so much.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Okay, I picked this one, because it was my first David Sedaris book. (Was this his first book? That’s a good question. Google it. I’m busy.) But really, any David Sedaris book will do. If you need help finding the humor in your situation or your odd family, he will inspire you. If you just love reading smart, observant stories, he will satisfy the need. There is nothing bad about a Sedaris book, so just pick one and get started.

Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons by Lorna Landvik
I’ve recommended Angry Housewives Eating Bon Bons before. Don’t let the kinda lame book cover throw you off, this book about women who live on the same street and start a book club is really fun to read. There are some sad parts (really, what book isn’t going to have something sad in it), but it’s such a good story of friendship through the decades as marriages, children, and careers change. I’ve read this one a few times, and I love it more each time I do.

You Can’t Touch My Hair (and Other Things I Still Have to Explain) by Phoebe Robinson
Robinson makes me laugh. She’s crazy and can write funny/crazy well. That’s not an easy thing to do, so bonus points for her. I like this book because while it’s funny (she’s a comedian), it’s also about race and privilege and how we can all do better at some things. You Can’t Touch My Hair is a good mix of silly and serious. If you want to spend a little time during social isolation to learn and grown while being entertained, read Robinson’s book.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid
You might have read this one already. It’s very intriguing. Evenly Hugo is a famous movie star who invites a no-name reporter into her home to tell her life story. The way all the people and secrets and choices come together at the end will make you gasp. This one is fun to read because it makes you wonder about movie stars and there are some themes of truth and honesty and secrets that will stay with you.

Nobody is Cuter Than You by Melanie Shankle
Remember when you could see your friends? Yeah, that was fun. I’m a big fan of Melanie Shankle’s writing; she’s funny, clever, and she can tell a relatable story. If you need a reminder that one day we’ll be able to have lunch with friends, invite them into our homes, or even take a road trip with them, this book is a fun way to remember how fun and beautiful friendship really is.

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode–and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kolber
Disclosure: I haven’t read this book yet. I have it, and I’ve skimmed it enough to feel confident about adding it here even though I’ve not read it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stuck or sad, I highly recommend Try Softer. When we’re all stuck at home, mental health concerns can become more pressing. Or maybe you’ve been thinking about finding a counselor and just never made it happen and now what are you gonna do? (Answer: see a virtual therapist. It might be a safe, first step.) But this book is a good place to start too. It will help you be kinder and gentler with yourself, even as so much feels uncertain right now.

These next books are more action-related. (Maybe you should skip them? You know best.) You don’t have to do a single project while you’re home, but if you’re anything like me, you want to. It takes care of boredom, keeps me moving, and helps me combat sadness. So take these recommendations or leave them, but here they are.

Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff by Myquillyn Smith
Do you have the itch to rearrange, remodel, or purge everything you own right now? *slowly raises hand* 2019 was the year of minimalizing (it’s a word, truuuust me) our house. I got rid of furniture, quieted the walls, and donated home decor I’d been keeping but not using. It made our house feel lighter and cozier. If you’d like to do that too, Cozy Minimalist Home is a great place to start. Smith has lots of idea and action steps to help you figure out how to make your home suitable for your lifestyle while also making it feel like a sanctuary. This isn’t about spending more money or getting all new stuff, it’s about using what you have in new ways and probably getting rid of some stuff in the process. If you’ve been wanting to do this and you just didn’t know where to start, this book is it.

Homegrown & Handmade: A Practical Guide to More Self-Reliant Living by Deborah Niemann
I borrowed Homegrown & Handmade from the library a few years ago and fell in love with it. If you’re feeling the itch to plant something or grow something or become less reliant on stores and single-use products during this quarantine, this book might be something fun to read. I re-read the garden/growing section every spring before I plant my garden. Eventually we’ll have some chickens so I love reading the poultry section. Niemann is a lot more extreme than I’ll ever be (I like buying soap from the store and I probably won’t ever raise meat to eat it), but she’s got lots of tips and advice for all levels. If you’re thinking about starting a patio garden or your goal is to live completely off the land, I think this book is a good place to start.

The Home Edit: A Guide to Organizing and Realizing Your House Goals by Clea Shearer and Joanna Teplin
I don’t care if you don’t actually want to organize one single thing during this pandemic, just looking at this colorful and visually pleasing book will brighten your mood. Some of the organizing is a little extreme for me (and I *love* me some organizing), but the ideas and tips are fun to read. Don’t buy this because you want to pressure yourself into cleaning and organizing, buy it because it’s pretty and fun to look at. Then *if* you decide to do spring cleaning projects, you’ll be ready with some inspiration.

DISCLOSURE: Affiliate links used.

15 favorite books of 2019

Look at me coming in at the last second of January to tell you about my favorite 2019 books.

In February, this post would be too late. But January rules stay we’re still allowed to talk about 2019. It’s in the rule book. Look it up if you need to.

I read a lot of books last year. Coming up with fifteen books I loved was harder than it usually is, but here they are. They’re not in any special order, except the first one. It’s my absolute favorite book of 2019.

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane
I declared this book a favorite last summer and it stayed in that spot the rest of the year. I still think about this story, these characters.

Ask Again, Yes starts out with two rookie cops who quickly become intertwined through proximity, family, violence, and trauma. The cops’ children, Pete and Kate, are the main characters and the book follows them from the beginning of their parents’ relationships to their eventual marriage and their own family. In between is heartache, addiction, bad choices, and childhood wounds. I’ll be honest and say I didn’t know what I was picking up when I grabbed Ask Again, Yes off the shelf at the library; it looked interesting, and it was on the display case. I’m a sucker for display case books. About halfway through, I realized the parallels to real life for me were, at times, too much. I have never read a book and felt moved to contact the author, but the way Keane writes about childhood trauma, a mentally ill mother, a father who abandons his family, a son who keeps it together until one day he can’t, and alcoholism was too real to be made up. I just want to ask her how she knows, how she knows what it all feels like. How does she know what you think when it all happens and how, how did she know? This is fiction that feels like real life; fiction that has to be written from experience. I sobbed through some chapter. This hurt to read, but it was good and beautiful too. I would never have the words to write what she did so well, and I’m glad this exists in the world.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng
I read Ng’s first novel, Everything I Never Told You, and felt indifferent about it. It was okay, but not my favorite. Little Fires Everywhere redeems Ng for me. The setting of this story is so strong, it’s a character. The community the characters live in is a meticulously-planned town where appearance matters a whole lot. The story focuses on two women, one an important newspaper writer and the other, a nontraditional single mom. When their children become friends, things turn and secrets come out. I loved the subjects this story wrestled with and the reminder that even if we win the war, it still hurts.

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens
I don’t even know where to start with this one. It’s so good, I don’t think words will do it justice. I loved that the setting was such a powerful character, almost a secondary main character. (This is different than the setting as a minor character; just go with it.) This book broke my heart a few times. I cried more than I can count. the loneliness and want and betrayals felt so heavy. About two-thirds of the way through I realized we were going the way of Fried Green Tomatoes. Do you remember that movie? I loved it so much as a child, for ways I couldn’t explain. This is not the same story at all, but if you’re familiar with it, you know what I mean. Gah. So, so good. Final thoughts: as a writer, I was blown away by the detail and feel of this book. The setting, the imagery, the symbolism just cracked me open. I’m in awe.

The Last Mrs. Parrish by Liv Constantine
Engaging, cringe-worthy, interesting, and horrible. All of my favorite things in one book. Amber Patterson is tired of being a poor nobody. So she creates a manipulative plan to make a very rich man fall in love with her. It doesn’t matter that he seems happily married to someone else. It’s so creepy, it’s good. But when things start happening for her, the book changes perspective to his wife. And that’s when it gets even more amazing. I really loved this book. If you need a stay-up-all-night read, this is it. I laid on the couch and read this book cover-to-cover on Christmas day.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
I consumed this book. I read this and knew immediately it would be a 2019 favorite. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is the beautiful, funny, and heartbreaking story of a woman who finally learns how to heal after an unlikely friendship with a co-worker. I loved the story line and the way she finds bravery in friendship, but it’s saved by a guy. I want everyone to read this one even if it’s just for her descriptions and internal dialogue. Eleanor drove me crazy at time, but I loved her nonetheless. Most books don’t make me laugh out loud, but this one did. It’s so enjoyable.

Learning to Speak God From Scratch by Jonathan Merritt
I listened to this one. Learning to Speak God From Scratch is smart, challenging, and informative (having been around Merritt a few times and learned from him, you could describe him like that as well…). I really enjoyed his history of religious words and how they’ve evolved through time and translation. As someone who writes about faith on the internet, I noticed a few years ago that some words I used were unfamiliar to non-Christians or used differently than I intended based on a person’s background. His research and commentary was engaging and interesting.

Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner
Since I left the classroom, I’ve been reading less young adult novels and that makes me sad. I’m so glad I got to read Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee because it reminded me of how good YA can be. I’m not going to lie, when I saw this author was a male trying to write a story about two high school girls, I was skeptical. I even rolled my eyes. But Zentner did such a good job writing two strong girls. Smart, funny girls who have some struggles. There is a love story, but it’s not the point and there’s no weird sleepover pillow fights of anything. This is a story about friendship and fear and being honest with those we love.

Becoming by Michelle Obama
Read this one even if you don’t think you’ll like or you’ll care. It’s so well written and funny and interesting. The inner workings of the White House, how the Secret Service details rolls, all the hoops presidents have to jump through to walk outside or go shopping, it’s all so fascinating. Reading Becoming by Michelle Obama sent me on a search for more first lady memoirs.

I’m Still Here by Austin Channing Brown
I think this is a must-read for white Christians. Often we don’t even know what we don’t know or realize how much of the way we think (or were taught to think, behave, ect.) is anti-Gospel and racist. We’re all racist in our thinking in some way, it’s ingrained in white America that most of us don’t even realize it’s happening. Most of us don’t want to do it, it’s just society norms we’ve wrongly picked up. I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness is a good place to start. It is not inherently shameful or bad to be white, you don’t control it anymore than someone controls being black, but with our skin color comes power we didn’t earn and don’t deserve. Channing Brown points out some ways we can do better. Because we can all do better.

My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite
My Sister, the Serial Killer is a short, dark read about Korede and her beautiful younger sister who keeps killing her boyfriends. Korede is smart and plain and often overlooked, and when her sister starts stabbing her boyfriends in “self-defense,” Korede helps her clean up. But the bodies are starting to pile up and Korede can’t keep this up, especially as her sister sets her sights on a kind, gorgeous doctor Korede works with. This is a quick read, but creepy and good too. I couldn’t put it down.

Educated by Tara Westover
THIS BOOK WAS SO INTERESTING. Westover grew up in a survivalist Mormon family in the hills of Idaho–off the grid and unschooled. Her father, who she believes is bipolar, thinks the government is out to get them, and they spend their days working to making money for the end times. They fill their basement with canned food, they sleep with mountain bags (a packed bag ready to run for the mountains with if the FBI shows up), and her dad is filling a 1,000 gallon gas tank hidden in the side of their mountain so they’ll have gas when the world ends. Some really crazy stuff happens in this book and when Tara is fifteen, she decides she wants out so she buys an ACT study book and prepares to take a test for the very first time. She goes on to get her doctorate by thirty. If you’re looking for an engaging and shocking read, this is it.

Miracle Creek by Angie Kim
We read this one for book club last year. It was thrilling and I couldn’t put it down. There’s a criminal trial going on and the reader learns the story of what happened through the trial and mostly the third person omniscient points of view. But everyone is hiding things and you know it as you read, you’re just not sure who to trust. Miracle Creek is well written and engaging. The ending killed me a little, but like we discussed at book club, there was no way this was going to be happily ever after.

The Immoral Majority by Ben Howe
This came out in August and is thoughtful and informative. Howe is a conservative Christian who has taken a hard look at the party he loves to determine how, in the pursuit of political power, they’ve embraced moral relativism and toxic partisanship. He explains why the “lesser of two evils” argument is wrong when voting and why conservative Christians are using compartmentalization to make dangerous choices setting them up for a mess later (and now, actually). Howe is not writing to convince you to vote for a different party, but he does offer smart, Biblical principles that help you understand that you can be a Christian and not vote against your morals for political control like some have been led to believe they should. He offers a good reminder that during the last few decades, conservative Christians have come to believe that God’s plan for humanity resides in who they elect president of the United States of America…and why that is a dangerous, limiting belief to hold. (I want everyone to read this book, please.)

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
I loved this account of Noah growing up near the tale end of South Africa’s apartheid as a colored child in a place where he was literally a crime for being born. His white father and his black mother were not allowed to be in relationship, let alone have a child. His stories made me laugh, think, and learn. The best things from a book. (I was encouraged to listen to the audio version of this book because Noah reads it. I didn’t get a chance to, but if you can borrow it from your library, I bet it would be worth the wait.)

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
Gottlieb is a therapist who has a therapist. She writes about her patients and the life she needs help surviving. So she gets a therapist. It’s delightful and insightful and another word that ends with -ful that I can’t think of right now. If you’ve read anything I’ve written, you know I’m a huge proponent of therapy. I think everyone needs a little (a lot of) therapy in their lives. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone is smart, challenging, and encouraging. I love that Gottlieb helps people make sense of their mess while admitting she needs help herself. The reality that we often can’t see our own stuff clearly is real and Gottlieb’s vulnerability invites us into her healing while encouraging us toward our own.

Do you have a favorite from 2019? Can you narrow it down to one book?

*DISCLOSURE: affiliate links used

8 good-for-your-soul books

My reading tends to fall into seasons. Not so much the calendar seasons, but certain weather calls for certain books.

In the summer, I need fiction. Chick lit, murder mysteries, good storytelling–things that make me stay up late and can hold my attention for hours at the pool. I do not need to be challenged or grow from the books I read in the summer, they are for entertainment purposes only.

Maybe it’s because I will forever be conditioned to think of the end of summer and fall as a time for learning, but right now, I’m all about growing and healing and thinking. My current to-read stack is Love Over Fear by Dan White Jr., Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson (a re-read for me), Addiction and Grace by Gerald G. May, MD, Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr, When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron (a book I’ve skimmed but never read all the way through), and Not Quite Healed by Cecil Murphey and Gary Roe. I’ve got some fiction sprinkled in for book clubs and I’m listening to some non-fiction audiobooks, but I’m ready to buckle down and learn as the weather (hopefully) cools off.

Do you have seasons for reading?

I don’t have a rhythm for encouraging books, but I know when I need them. After I read a heavy book or when things in real life feel extra challenging, I can search out books that will soothe my soul and quiet my heart. Maybe you need that right now?

These books are ones I run to when I need hope, freedom, and lightness:

Embracing Weakness: The Unlikely Secret to Changing the World
By Shannon K. Evans

I like this one because it’s short and helpful. I don’t know if it’s just the Enneagram Eight in me, but I need the reminders that weakness isn’t an ugly word. There is a lot of beauty that can actually come from the weak pieces of us, and Evans reminds us that there is power in our weakness if we are followers of Jesus.

The Next Right Thing podcast
Okay, this is a podcast, but there’s a book too so I’m not cheating. I haven’t read the book (it’s on my Christmas list, if you’ve started shopping already…), but the podcast which inspired the book is so good I’m recommending it without reading it. Emily P. Freeman is thoughtful and wise. She doesn’t give you answers, but invites you into the questions so you can, on your own, find the way. There’s almost a therapy-level quiet and safety in her podcasts. Her voice is soothing and her stories always jar something in my heart. If you’re not buying any books this year and the library doesn’t have any of the ones I’m suggesting, just subscribe to this podcast for free and start exploring the archives (a new episode comes out most Mondays). I hope this will be encouraging for your heart.

If you are buying books right now, get this one and let me know how it feels: The Next Right Thing: A Simple, Soulful Practice for Making Decisions by Emily P. Freeman)

Everybody Always: Becoming Love in a World Full of Setbacks and Unhappy People
By Bob Goff

Goff is a pleasure to read. His view of this world and life is so joy-filled that you can’t help but want what he has. (He has Jesus, but also an extra spark of something I can’t put my finger on.) I read Bob Goff when I want to remember what open arms can do. Not just because it’s fun, but because it points people to Jesus. His stories are unbelievable and exciting and push me outside my comfort zone in the nicest way possible.

Small Victories: Spotting Improbable Moments of Grace
By Anne Lamott

Often God doesn’t change my circumstances when I ask, He changes my heart. A lot of these books do that for me, but especially Small Victories by Anne Lamott. Beside her ability to craft a good sentence and a great story, I enjoy her reminders about how much grace is all around us if we just pay attention.

Let Me Feed You: Everyday Recipes Offering the Comfort of Home
By Rosie Daykin

Sometimes my heart needs quieted in the kitchen. Let Me Feed You is full of recipes that feel comfortable. I don’t like fussy recipes, things that require me to buy things I’ll never use again. I like cookbooks full of ingredients I normally have and with food my family will actually eat. Pretty pictures do not mean a successful dinner. But this one does it all: gorgeous photos and food the Graham girls devour. I like to borrow cookbooks from the library to try a few recipes before spending the money on them. This one passed the library test and I can’t wait to give it a home on my kitchen shelf. Sometimes what your soul needs is a messy kitchen with something warm in the oven and this book is perfect for that.

Simple Living for a Frantic World
By Brooke MCAlary

When things feel too loud in the world, I walk around my house and make a pile of things to donate to Goodwill. I can’t control the chaotic things outside my front door, but I can make sure my home doesn’t reflect it. I know this isn’t what everyone does, but when I feel extra twisty inside, I turn that energy outward to making my home more cozy. Simple Living for a Frantic World is about that task, about making our lives less full so we don’t get consumed by the world’s pace and energy. This book talks about schedules, boundaries, home, and creating a life we don’t want to escape from. I know what to do to make this happen, but I still enjoy hearing other people’s stories of real life balancing.

Cozy Minimalist Home: More Style, Less Stuff
By Myquillyn Smith

One way I balance the world’s pace is by making home a soft place to land. We’re not home as much as I would like in the fall, but when we do stumble through the back door, you better believe it feels cozy. Cozy Minimalist Home isn’t about stripping the house bare, but quieting rooms so they feel like rest when you’re in them. I grabbed this book as soon as it was released and spent the next two weeks walking around my house taking things off of walls, shelves, and surfaces. Less stuff out meant less stuff to manage. Then I let it sit to see if I missed what I had taken away. Spoiler: I didn’t. And my rooms felt like they could breathe, like there was more space to live. If you’re in a season that feels full and overwhelming, this book will help you quiet your home so you can regain some balance.

Cold Tangerines: Celebrating the Extraordinary Nature of Everyday Living
By Shauna Niequist

Do you have a book you return to when you don’t know what to read? Or when you need a reset? Cold Tangerines is that for me. I’ve read this book countless times in the 10+ years I’ve had it. For me, it opened my eyes to a style of writing and storytelling I didn’t know people were allowed to do. I bought this at a bookstore on a college campus in Louisville, Kentucky right after Chris and I were married. I devoured it. It became a way for me to center myself, remind myself why words matter, and how good words can connect us to others. This is probably not Niequist’s best writing. It is her first published collection of essays and she’s grown and evolved a lot since then, but I still love this book more than the others because of who I was when I discovered it. (Also, if I let you borrow this, please kindly return it. I miss it.)

Do you have a favorite good-for-your-soul book? Do you have seasons for reading different genres? Tell me all your book thoughts please.

*DISCLOSURE: affiliate links used.

9 books you should read right now

I wanted to start this post by telling you how summer is the perfect time for reading: lazy days by the pool, weekend road trips, cool nights on the patio.

But then I realized I’d say the same thing about winter reading: free afternoons wrapped in blankets on the couch, evenings by the fire, early to bed because it’s so dark out there isn’t really anything else to do.

There’s really not a bad season to consume books is what I’m saying. Maybe just different books for different seasons? I could argue for and against that.

Just read books.
Bottom line: just read books.

Here are books I’ve read recently that moved me, kept me up all night, or still haunt me even after I’ve returned it to the library:

(Edit note: I’m having some technical issues with my site right now. If you can’t see a review or the text seems off, it’s being worked on and should be back to normal soon. Hopefully.)

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Oh, Eleanor. You’ve probably read this one already or at least heard of it. It’s a bestseller and Reese Witherspoon picked it for her book club. But when too many people rave about something, I’m suspicious and avoid it. Don’t ask why, I just do. But now I’m here to tell you to read this beautiful book as soon as you can. Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is wonderful and funny, sad and shocking. There were times I didn’t like her (she’s so rude!), but as the story progresses, we get glimpses of the broken pieces and by the end, you cannot help but love her. And the ending! the twist! Gah, read this right now please and thank you

Educated by Tara Westover
We read Educated for book club in late winter. This memoir is about Westover’s unconventional childhood growing up in the Idaho mountains with a mentally ill father and family. The Westovers are anti-government, live off the grid Mormons who do not school their children. Her childhood is violent, abusive, and hard. These stories will feel unbelievable at times; Westover’s resilence is encouraging and hopeful. After our book club talk, we all spent time stalking the family online. I hope this isn’t the last we hear from Tara Westover. She is still young and has a lot of healing to do, and I’m hopeful she can reconcile her past with her present in a way that doesn’t feel so damaged.

My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite
Dorothy showed up to book club, handed me this book, and said she thought I’d like it. She was right. My Sister, the Serial Killer is a short, dark read about Korede and her beautiful younger sister who keeps killing her boyfriends. Korede is smart and plain and often overlooked, and when her sister starts stabbing her boyfriends in “self-defense,” Korede helps her clean up. But the bodies are starting to pile up and Korede can’t keep this up, especially as her sister sets her sights on a kind, gorgeous doctor Korede works with. This is a quick read, but creepy and good too

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane
This books haunts me. The story starts out with two rookie cops who quickly become intertwined through proximity, family, violence, and trauma. The cops’ children, Pete and Kate, are the main characters and the book follows them from the beginning of their parents’ relationships to their eventual marriage and their own family. In between is heartache, addiction, bad choices, and childhood wounds. I’ll be honest and say I didn’t know what I was picking up when I grabbed Ask Again, Yes off the shelf at the library; it looked interesting, and it was on the display case. I’m a sucker for display case books. About halfway through, I realized the parallels to real life for me were, at times, too much. I have never read a book and felt moved to contact the author, but the way Keane writes about childhood trauma, a mentally ill mother, a father who abandons his family, a son who keeps it together until one day he can’t, and alcoholism was too real to be made up. I just want to ask her how she knows, how she knows what it all feels like. How does she know what you think when it all happens and how, how did she know? This is fiction that feels like real life; fiction that has to be written from experience. I sobbed through some chapter. This hurt to read, but it was good and beautiful too. I would never have the words to write what she did so well, and I’m glad this exists in the world.

Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee by Jeff Zentner
Since I left the classroom, I’ve been skipping young adult novels, but for this I am asking for forgiveness. Thankfully, a friend got me a subscription to a monthly YA book club and they’ve been showing up on my doorstep this year forcing me to read them again. Rayne & Delilah’s Midnite Matinee is a fun book about high school best friends as they try to balance senior year, new relationships, and expectations. I was a little hesitant to read a book about female friendship from a male, but Zentner did a good job of writing smart girls who don’t just have sleepovers, pillow fights, and obsess over boys. This is a book that reminds me how good YA lit can be and you don’t have to be a teenager to enjoy it.

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah
Born a Crime is a moving account of Noah’s childhood growing up in apartheid in South Africa, hidden because his mother was black and his father was white. He was not literally not supposed to exist. When he’s still a boy, apartheid ends and his world changes forever. I loved Noah’s stories, a mix of history, commentary, humor, and lessons, his writing style and his intelligence make hard topics accessible and relevant. A few people told me to listen to the audio book for this one because Noah reads it, but the waitlist was too long at the library. I read the book, but if you have the ability to listen, I bet it would be even more wonderful than the already-wonderful book…if that’s possible

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Look, I know I’m late to this party. Whatever. If you haven’t read The Glass Castle, please read it. It’s along the same memoir genre as Educated, but a different family, a different mental illness, and a different outcome. I’m drawn to memoir because I write a lot of it, but even if that’s not your thing, this book about a family growing up in extreme poverty and constant transiency is engaging and interesting. (Also, there’s a movie, but I haven’t seen it. I’m normally against books made into movies, but if it shows up on Netflix, I might watch it.)

Call It What You Want by Brigid Kemmerer
This isn’t a life-changing YA book, but it was fun to read and I consumed it in one weekend. It’s the common plot of a dorky girl and a bad boy falling in love. Nothing surprising, but why I loved Call It What You Want so much is because of the topics and minor characters. Things this book addresses that would be good for kids to read: the main character is in a platonic friendship with a gay character and it’s not made weird; there is a lot of discussion between characters about privilege and money and the haves and have nots; and there is a crime in town that wrecks a lot of lives and forgiveness is a huge component of this story. The story might be a little basic, but the details aren’t and this would be a great book for high school kids to read and discuss. There are a few make-out scenes, but nothing too risky or inappropriate.

Love Walked In by Marisa De Los Santos
Marisa De Los Santos writes good summer reading. I wouldn’t call it chick lit because the term holds so many negative connotations, but if chick lit were not looked down on , this would be a good example of why it’s wonderful and you should be reading chick lit. Adult love and relationships and heartache and family, a vacation read that could also just keep you up late on a school night. I accidentally picked up the sequel to Love Walked In years ago and read it before I realized it was not a stand-alone book. When I started this one, it sorta annoyed me because there is a lot of internal dialogue from the main character and I felt it was unnecessary, but once I fell into the rhymth of the characters and De Los Santos’ writing style, I really enjoyed this book. Just fun fiction that makes you sad when it’s over.

Have you read anything amazing lately? Tell me about it!

(Also, if books are your thing, I send out a monthly book email to subscribers telling you what you should and shouldn’t be reading. I read a lot and I love talking about it! You can sign up here to receive the book email.)

DISCLOSURE: AFFILIATE LINKS USED.

I’m still into cookbooks

Are cookbooks still a thing?

Answer: YES.

I don’t care what the internet or Pinterest or all the end-of-traditional-publishing alarmist say, I’m still in love with cookbooks and use them regularly.

There’s just something that feels really good about cracking open a well-worn cookbook, flipping to a page you’ve used again and again, noticing the little dried bit of butter or olive oil on the corner, and feeding your family a tried-and-true meal.

Sure, I use the internet for dinner ideas or something quick-and-easy to take to the pitch-in, but it won’t ever take the place of a book full of recipes, food crumbs, handwritten notes on measurements, and love.

I will hear no arguments about it.

Okay, since we’re all on the same page about cookbooks being amazing, here are my favorites for your viewing pleasure. Add them to your collection, give them as gifts, or just nod your head in agreement as you read. And try not to get hungry.

Skinnytaste Fast and Slow by Gina Homolka
I love Skinnytaste Fast and Slow, and I love Gina Holmolka; I follow her on Instagram and buy all her cookbooks. She does healthy-ish recipes but none of them taste healthy, if you know what I mean. I make the Slow Cooker Korean-Style Beef Tacos (pg. 140) often, and it’s a big hit with Chris Graham. The slaw topping she has you put on top of the beef is delicious as a stand-alone salad too. I had a hard time narrowing down only one recipe from this book to tell you about if that tells you anything.

Magnolia Table by Joanna Gaines
This is a new one for me, I bought it with some birthday money last year after borrowing it from the library. Listen, I like the Gaines. I like their show. I like their style. I like their line at Target. But I’m also leery of celebrity books because as long as you have a good following, you can publish a book–it doesn’t have to be good. I’ve learned that the hard way. So I borrowed Magnolia Table from the library to test it out, and it passed all my tests. (I’m a teacher so realllllly good at making hard, impossible-to-pass exams.) For Christmas morning, I made the Overnight French Toast (pg. 41) for my family, and it was so decadent and delicious. Some of the recipes are more intense than I normally do, but it’s still worth a buy. I’ve got the Cinnamon Squares marked (pg. 65) for this weekend so I’ll let you know how it goes, but I’m anticipating success and lots of sugar highs.

Classic Rachael Ray 30-Minute Meals
Is it showing my age to say I used to binge-watch 30-Minute Meals on the Food Network when I was in college? I don’t know what she’s doing today, but Rachel Ray in the early 2000s gave me the courage to just throw stuff in a pot without measuring, eat new foods like polenta, and try scary recipes like risotto. I still use Classic Rachael Ray 30-Minute Meals for dinner inspiration. We really like her soups and stews, things that can be made in one pot. The Chile Verde (pg. 127) is delicious with some tortilla chips, sharp cheddar cheese, and green onions.

Cooking Light: Fresh Food Fast
Okay, so it’s obvious I like things that don’t take too long to make. Who really does? Cooking Light: Fresh Food Fast isn’t fancy, but it’s full of normal food my family will actually eat which makes it a win in my book. Being able to make a sandwich feel like a full meal (like the Grilled Chicken Reuben [pg. 81] or the Sloppy Skillet Beef Sandwiches [pg. 69]) will always make me happy. There’s lots of good soup recipes in here too. I’m a big fan of the Spicy Poblano and Corn Soup (pg. 26).

The Taste of Home Cookbook
This is a classic in my humble opinion. Growing up, my mom subscribed to and used often The Taste of Home magazine. I remember this from-scratch pretzel recipe that I loved to make. Throwing that pretzel dough around pretending I knew had to twist it into pretzel shapes was so much fun. When I moved out, my mom gifted me my own The Taste of Home Cookbook and I’ve used it ever since. It’s a good reference for traditional recipes and things you’d never, ever make, but I still love it. It also has lots of conversion, substitution, and cook time help in it. It’s not just recipes, but an actual how-to book for the kitchen. It might be a little outdated (my link is to the 4th edition while I have the original), but I’m loyal to it regardless.

Reader’s Digest Kitchen Secrets
This one is good but also a little silly? It’s not aged well, but there’s good stuff so don’t be thrown off by the ugly cover or the how-to for a cheese mold. *gag* Because recipes like the Bayou Red Beans and Rice Casserole (pg. 119) or the Steak with a Spicy sauce (pg. 234) are delicious. Reader’s Digest Kitchen Secrets is also entertaining to look at. It’s got a lot of general how-to and recipe help in it, but the pictures are gold and worth a peruse.

America’s Test Kitchen: The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs
Ellie got this one for Christmas and it’s been in heavy rotation ever since. She’s used it for desserts and breakfast food at least once a week since our kitchen has been operational again. I love America’s Test Kitchen: The Complete Cookbook for Young Chefs because it talks about the science behind cooking and baking so kids are learning how to make things, but also the theory (if that makes sense…) so they could then transfer that knowledge to other things they want to make. Plus, this stuff is just good. It’s not silly kid stuff that is super easy and insulting, they have to follow real recipes and actually work for the yummy food they’re creating. Ellie loves to be in the kitchen, and she absolutely loves this cookbook.

Skinnytaste One and Done by Gina Homolka
I told you I loved Skinnytaste. This is me submitting documentation. Skinnytaste One and Done is her most recent cookbook. Quick, fast meal options are my love language. That and leaving me alone with my books. But mostly fast meals. These recipes are filling, good for the whole family, and easy-ish. I’m really feeling the one sheet pan meal idea, where you throw lots of different things on one pan and then bake it so the Roasted Sausage, Peppers, and Potatoes meal (pg. 89) was a home run. I used turkey sausage because it’s what I had on hand, but I’m sure chicken sausage is delicious too.

Let Me Feed You by Rosie Daykin
I don’t own this one (yet). I just got Let Me Feed You at the library this week. I’ve wasted enough money on cookbooks I don’t end up liking to know if the library has a copy, I’ll try it through them first. I’ve never heard of Rosie Daykin, but she has a dog on the cover of her cookbook so I think we’re going to be best friends. I’m hoping to make Butter’s Granola (pg. 20) and, when my garden is ready to harvest, the Zucchini and Couscous Salad (pg. 145). I predict I’ll ask for this cookbook for Christmas. Stay tuned.

What about you? Do you still love a cookbook sitting on the shelf in your kitchen? Could you spend the afternoon looking through cookbooks like me? What cookbook can you not live without?

DISCLOSURE: This post uses affiliate links. Shopping through the links helps support this online writing space and does not change the price you pay for an item.

10 best books of 2018

We’ll talk tomorrow about my 2018 to-read list. (I have good news and bad news.) But before I grade myself on the reading homework I assigned myself in 2018, I want to tell you about my favorite books of 2018. There’s no real criteria for this list (like when it was published or the genre); this list is just the ten best books I read this year.

If you’re looking for a good read to start 2019, I’d wholeheartedly recommend these books:

The Immortalist by Chloe Benjamin
The Immortalists is engaging, creative fiction. The story centers around four children who go see a fortune teller when they’re young; during the visit, they each learn the day they will die. As they grow, their dates loom in the back of their heads, dictating and leading them more than they could ever imagine. This book made me laugh and cry, watching the way each child’s life was ruined or enhanced by a random visit to a fortune teller.

The Year of Less by Cait Flanders
I loved The Year of Less by Cait Flanders for what it encouraged me to do. Flanders is a finance blogger who decided to try to live one year without purchasing things. Her specific rules are in the book, but she was really disciplined about what she brought into her home, how she spent her money, and what she surrounded herself with. She was also really good at processing the emotions behind why she was spending money. It spurred lots of good change in our house and made me re-think some habits. This book isn’t exceptionally well-written or exciting, but it really influenced me this year. (And it’s shaping my 2019–more on that next week.)

Dopesick by Beth Macy
I think this should be required reading. Dopesick by Beth Macy looks at the way a drug company addicted America through ignorance, lying, and greed. The heartbreaking stories of kids and adults used as pawns by a pharmaceutical company will infuriate you and make you look at the addiction epidemic with new eyes.

Tell Me More by Kelly Corrigan
I like Kelly Corrigan because she’s a good storyteller, but I love her because she’s such a talented writer. Tell Me More: Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I’m Learning to Say is thoughtful and wise. I’ll read anything Corrigan writes and become better from it. If your attention span isn’t the greatest, you can pick this one up and read one chapter/essay without having to invest in the whole book immediately.

Barking to the Choir by Gregory Boyle
If we truly want to follow Jesus, we need to spend more time and thought on the people our world tells us are not worthy. Gregory Boyle does that well and he writes about his lessons and experiences with humor and mercy. I love Boyle. I borrowed this one from the library but had to stop after the first chapter and buy my own copy–there was just too much that needed underlined, highlighted, and notated. You’ll read this one again and again.

An American Marriage by Tayari Jones
An American Marriage is fiction, but it’s full of social justice issues, relationship lessons, and so much reality about the state of race in America that it will feel real. I often want happy endings in my books–I like the happy even when it feels cheesy–but there was no way this realistic look at injustice and racism could end the way I longed for. I think about this book all the time, and I think it will stick with you too.

Everything is Horrible and Wonderful by Stephanie Wittels Wachs
Addiction is addiction is addiction. Wittels Wachs writes about her brilliant, kind, funny brother as he descends into a heroin addiction that will eventually kill him. Writing from a place of honesty is hard when you want to strangle this addicted person whom you love so much, but she does it really well; you mourn her loss like it’s your own. Reading about addiction, especially books like this, helps to get rid of the stigma of what an addict looks like and gets us closer to helping people with compassion and mercy. I loved Everything is Horrible and Wonderful.

The Most Misused Stories in the Bible by Eric J. Bargerhuff
I used The Most Misused Stories in the Bible (and The Most Misused Verses in the Bible by the same author) in my morning Bible time this year and learned so much. Bargerhuff writes well-researched and accessible essays on popular Bible teachings and how we’ve been taught wrong or incomplete truths from them. I really enjoyed these two books and keep them handy for reference when I’m writing. (I bought these two plus Out of Context: How to Avoid Misinterpreting the Bible by Richard L. Schultz for about $30 and have been really challenged by all of them.)

The Cadaver King and the Country Dentist by Radley Balko and Tucker Carrington
I found this on my library’s audiobook app and joined the waitlist thinking it was a true crime novel (I love true crime and don’t read as much of it as I would like). Once it came available, I quickly realized I was listening to a book on social injustice and could not stop. If our criminal justice system or systematic racism interests you (it should), I’d highly recommend you read this book. It would make a good companion piece to The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. Learning the history of how coroners came to be and the way forensic science has helped (and hurt) so many people will outrage you. At one point, I did have to stop the recording because I was just so, so brokenhearted. This book will overwhelm you and leave you changed.

Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I’ve Loved by Kate Bowler
Kate Bowler is clever and funny. Reading this quick book was a highlight for me because she shares hard stories with wisdom and honesty. She’s a professor at Duke Divinity School and has studied the prosperity gospel for years. Weaving her diagnosis of stage four cancer at 30-something and her faith, Bowler teaches us how to be better humans to each other. I loved this book, and I think you will too. (Bonus: We chose this as our next Not Terrible book club selection and will release an episode in March discussing it. If you want to read it in preparation for that episode, that would be cool.)


*For some reason, I thought I wrote about my favorite books every year, but I’ve only done it once, in 2015. What a disgrace, Mary. So disappointing. But if you’re interested, here are my favorite books from 2015.

*DISCLOSURE: AFFILIATE LINKS USED.

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Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

13 books I’d give to anyone for Christmas

Buying a book for someone else is tricky.

We don’t all like the same things. We don’t all enjoy the same genres. We don’t all laugh at the same jokes.

But what if there were some fool-proof books you could give almost anyone and they’d love?

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Before I begin, if you give someone one of these books and they don’t like it, it probably means they have horrible taste in books and it has absolutely nothing to do with me. I know good books. I stand by this list and it will never be my fault for someone not clicking with one of them.

Okay, now we can begin:

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty
I read this years ago and still think about it often. Doughty is a mortician whose life mission is to make us rethink our traditions and customs of honoring the dead. I loved this book; it’s full of research, stories from around the world, and honest discussion about the way we’ve created a culture afraid of the dead bodies of our loved ones.

Rosemary: The Hidden Kennedy Sister by Kate Clifford Larson
As someone who doesn’t have any real interest in the Kennedy family, this book was engaging and interesting from beginning to end. The bigger story of our mistreatment and misunderstanding of mental illness and differently-abled people will break your heart and, hopefully, reframe the way you think and talk about God’s children the world often deems second class.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris (or any Sedaris book, really)
This is not Sedaris’ first book, but it’s the first one I read as a sophomore in college so it holds a special place in my heart. Me Talk Pretty One Day is a collection of essays about his childhood and family. As a writer, I respect this book for the craft; as a reader, I love his voice and family, the way he paints such authentic, flawed people with love and honesty.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
This book is about two children, a blind girl and a young soldier, whose paths cross in occupied France during World War II. All the Light We Cannot See is such a well-written story, the talent and dedication it takes to tell such a moving fiction is awe-inspiring. I haven’t met anyone who didn’t love this book.

Made You Up by Francesca Zappia
I’m throwing a little young adult fiction on the list because I will forever work against the stereotype that the label YA makes it childish or not valid for the adult reader. I participated in an adult book club read of Made You Up with my local library and sitting in a room full of elderly adults discussing this moving book made my heart so happy. Of course some YA literature isn’t engaging for adults, but this one is, so don’t write it off because of the genre.

A Man Called Ove by Fredrick Backman
I made my dad read this book, and he begrudgingly did it. We read very different things and while he won’t say he loved it, I can tell in his eyes he did. A Man Called Ove is about a crumedgeon who seems to hate everyone. Underneath his grumpy exterior is sadness and pain, so as the reader gets to know Ove, you can’t help but fall in love with him even though you want to strangle him. The storytelling and character development in this one is beautiful to witness.


The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
I couldn’t put a gift list together without a side of social justice. I think The New Jim Crow should be required reading for everyone in America. Reading this well-researched and thought-provoking book about mass incarceration in the US will change your perspective on how race influences our criminal “justice” system. This will push lots of us to confront some bias and privilege we tend to ignore.

Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits–to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life by Gretchen Rubin
Want to feel pumped and excited for the new year? Grab this book. If you’ve got someone on your list who loves self-improvement and self-help and encouragement, Better Than Before is the perfect gift. I listened to the audio version on the treadmill every morning, and I felt so inspired. There’s good stuff for everyone in this one.

Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance
There are two groups of people who read this book: people who see themselves in the Vance family and those who know people who are the Vance family. Either way, Hillbilly Elegy is a frank and honest look at the upwardly mobile white lower class struggles. Race and class in American is so twisty and complicated, and if we want to talk openly about all the parts, we all need to read this book.

Sh*t My Dad Says by Justin Halpern
If you’ve been here for a while you know I recommend this book on all my gift lists. It’s just funny. Leave it on the coffee table and let the people laugh. If you’re a sensitive Nelly who doesn’t like curse words, you’ll want to sit this one out, but otherwise, it’s an entertaining and fun book that most (non-prudish) people will enjoy.

Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World by Bob Goff
Children’s version: Love Does by Bob Goff and Lindsey Goff Viducich
We all feel ordinary and stuck sometimes. In Love Does, Goff helps us change our perspective from boring to exciting with a call to see and interact in our world differently. This book feels happy and joyful and life-giving in a way we can all relate to.

The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile
You didn’t think I’d make a book-buying list without including this one, did you? If I was asked one book outside of the Bible that got me through the roughest year of my life, it would be The Road Back to You. Seeing myself through the lens of the Enneagram began a journey of work and healing, both for myself and my marriage, that I’m not sure would have happened otherwise. It feels crazy to say this book filled in blanks that were killing me in ways I wasn’t yet aware, but it’s the truth. I seriously do give this book to everyone, and I think you should too.

Remember: If you buy one of these books and the receiver doesn’t like it, it means they’re tasteless chumps who wouldn’t know a good book if it bit them in the butt. Because these are good great books everyone should love.

Have a good one to add to the list? What book would you give to anyone because you love it so much? Help us spread good books!


MAKE SURE YOU SUBSCRIBE TO MY NEWSLETTER! GO HERE TO GET MONTHLY BOOK REVIEWS & SUGGESTIONS, SURPRISE GIVEAWAYS, SUBSCRIBER-ONLY POSTS, AND THE MONDAY BUSINESS MEETING EMAIL WITH ENCOURAGEMENT, NEWS, & FREE STUFF.

Love podcasts? May I suggest you listen to the Not Terrible Podcast? My friend Jess and I co-host a weekly show where we discuss hard stories with hope and humor. I’d love for you to listen and subscribe.

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