Around Christmas last year, I found this on Pinterest.
It started some conversations and they haven’t stopped. So this year, we’ve headed into the Christmas season with specific plans and intense focus.
I know that probably sounds a little extreme, but we are determined to make Christmas fun and enjoyable for our kids, but keep the focus on Christ and less on presents. We still want presents to be a part of our holiday because, come on, it’s Christmas and there has to be presents, but we want to be noticeably different as Christians because we’re celebrating something more important than a time for presents.
We’re focusing more on giving to others (through our church, through families at my school, through donations, etc.) and less on how many presents we can shove under our tree. Normally, I start Christmas shopping in the summer, slowly putting away gifts when I come across a good deal or something I know someone will love. It was good for our wallet and made the holidays seem a little less hectic because I felt ahead of the game.
But that process also made it easier to get more gifts for our kids. Less intentional and more random. More toys than they needed. Buying stuff to buy stuff.
So this year that has stopped. I have one present bought as of today. We are very careful when picking the gifts for our kids this year, making sure each one is special and important because it’s only one of four. It’s made shopping different for the better.
The way we’ve interpreted the above four-gift rule:
Want: one toy present
Wear: one new outfit
Read: one book or set of books
Need: shoes for Elliott and we’re not sure about Harper’s need yet.
Isn’t that silly? Harper doesn’t even have a need—but in year’s past we would have spent a couple hundred dollars giving her new stuff. And she doesn’t even need anything. It’s embarrassing, really.
We’ve also struggled with the Santa thing: I love the magical Santa idea and the fun that goes with that. But we don’t want to sacrifice the story of Jesus for fun with Santa. Also, we’re aware more than ever about making sure our kids know that things cost money, that Mommy and Daddy worked hard to pay for these gifts, and we need you to be thankful for that God-given ability. So in the Graham house, Santa brings the stockings (candy, little toys, junk, etc.) and Mommy & Daddy buy the gifts. I think that’s a pretty fair deal.
My parents and Chris’ mom are on-board our four-gift rule also. It’s been encouraging to have our family’s support in making these changes and refocusing our Christmas.
I’m already anxious for Ellie to see the toy we got her—she’s going to flip. Although, she has also talked non-stop about a $250 doll house she saw in a toy catalog and thinks she’s getting it. So that might be a letdown. What do you and your family do at Christmas? How do you handle the Santa thing? Every family is different and this is what works (hopefully) for us–what works for you?
Added bonus (for those of you that made it through this long post): We’ve been reading a lot about Christmas and one book that has been really helpful in setting the tone for our Christmas is Precious Moments: My Christmas Bible Storybook. It’s full of Bible stories, songs, and texts geared toward young kids that helps make the real Christmas story accessible and tangible. Ellie especially loves it and since it’s a board book, it’s survived daily “reads” from a one year old also. And because ’tis the season for giving, the book’s publisher, Thomas Nelson, has offered to give one copy of the book to a lucky Trusty Chucks reader. All you have to do is enter the rafflecopter giveaway below–good luck!
(sneak peak the book here.)
DISCLOSURE: I WAS GIFTED THE ABOVE BOOK, BUT ALL OPINIONS ARE MINE.
I love these thoughts. I love being intensional with Christmas. We have always done the ‘three gifts’ idea for our kids (and each other). Its based on the idea that Jesus got three gifts from the wise men. It helps so much with simplifying all the madness. And for my desire to buy cute little fun unnecessary things i think they will like, i fill a stocking for each of them. Another thing that i try to do in some form is something for advent. Doing a little something everyday in anticipation of Christmas helps with putting more focus on Jesus and the whole Christmas story. About the Santa thing; it is exciting for kids, for a few years, to think there is a guy who magically brings them presents, but there is real ‘magic’ in God putting on flesh that we can try to grab ahold of and be excited about throughout our lives…. and it actually happened. This year I just cant bring myself to lie to Sadie because she is always asking about whats real and whats not real. I have so many more thoughts, but maybe this ‘comment’ is supposed to be brief. Its my first time to ever leave a comment on a blog. hee hee. Anyway, i love hearing about other homes and families that are seeking to be intentional at Christmas. Thanks!
Growing up, I was never taught that Santa was real. If I had kids, I think I would just simply stick to that. And then share the real meaning of Christmas of course. 🙂
You and I talked about this last year and the 4 gift rule has been a little voice in my head ever since. My problem is I want to be the person who gets my kids all the stuff they want, and that’s extremely selfish of me. We are blessed with great family and friends that buy for my kids…even if I tell them not to. So this year I’m sharing the great ideas with others. I wanted to be the one to buy my kids their ice skates, but someone else wanted to so that takes a financial burden off me and gives someone else the joy of seeing my kids get their ice skates! A perspective I would not have probably come to without the 4 gift rule discussion.
Something else we did this year was really hard my my kids…when we dontated toys we picked out things my kids personally really wanted.I’m embarrassed to admit it, but normally I would just pick up “something another kid would like” and not necessarily something I would include as one of the 4 gifts for my kids. It seems really awful of me to do something nice, but not fully do it. I don’t know if that makes sense, but for example Amelia (5) really wanted the Brave bow&arow toy so that is what we got for the 5-7 year-old-girl gift Amelia picked from the xmas tree at church. She cried and cried (and I almost did) but I want her to know what giving with intention is more important than just giving.
gary started doing 3 gifts last year-because jesus received 3 gifts. we’ve always been scarce givers to our children… that sounds bad! but you’re right-most of the time they dont need much. and when they were babies, i remember giving them gloves, or socks. things they needed because they didnt even know the difference!
so, this year we are in a weird spot in life. we have many in our church who are messianic, follow God’s teachings (better description than laws) in the Torah. we have one new family who have been doing this for years and who dont celebrate Christmas. we had a great discussion on it in small group. it’s kinda rocked my world. i was even telling everly the other day about how some people dont celebrate Christmas. she knew who i was talking about (her friend) and i told her that God never told us to celebrate Christmas in the Bible. her response: “Than why do we?”
I’m not sure we will ever stop, but we definitely want life to be in perspective. when someone was arguing the point for CHristmas in our group, that it celebrates Christ’s birth, the husband said, “We are supposed to celebrate His life everyday.” it’s interesting how people open your eyes. So, i haven’t had much desire to decorate for Christmas this year. that and we’ll be gone most of the time… but i started thinking about all the time and energy we put into things that have no true meaning… however are quite fun, especially when we are children.
sooooo…. this is getting long, but i feel like i can’t share with most people-scare them off! but, i’m still trying to figure out what we’re doing this year. i know most of the few gifts i want to get the girls, and my family decided not to exchange gifts but to just do stuff together. so, far less gifts. ahhhh-i love simplifying life. and i need less to keep me busy so i can focus on God. dont we all?!!
My mom did something like the four gift rule for a while after she and my dad separated. I think her’s was three gifts. I’ve always liked the idea. Around here Santa fills the stockings (usually a book and a little stuffed animal) and he brings the kids two gifts at the most. Then they get one gift from mommy and daddy and one gift from their siblings. We had some extra money this year, so we bought everyone one “really cool” gift. And that’s pretty much all we get around these parts. Our parents don’t usually have the money to buy gifts, but I do have one aunt who gets them each a little something every year.
One year I was working Toys R Us’ customer service line and I had a man call in to complain about something he felt someone did wrong at one of the stores and then he threatened to not shop at Toys R Us anymore. His threat was “I spend $1,000 on each of my three kids every Christmas and if Toys R Us doesn’t do what I want I will take my money elsewhere.” I wouldn’t even know how to spend that much money on one kid. I would think that he is raising a bunch of greedy kids. His money could have been spent so many other, and much better, ways. No kid needs their parent blowing $1000 on them at Toys R Us.
We did something similar growing up, we did three presents (representing the gifts from the wise men). This year my husband and I were talking about scaling back for our kids and planning to adopt an angel from our church. I’m super excited about the new traditions we are starting!!
We always asked our kids to make a list with at least 10 things on it. They knew that they wouldn’t get all of them. We also tried to choose something that wasn’t on the list that would be more of a surprise. Now that they are older, we try to do a piece of clothing, a gift card, a “toy-like” item, and something useful. Then we fill in with other things if we have budget left over.
We never really had any traditions, but I think it would be cool to have the tradition of reading the Nativity story. As for Santa, I think I would just celebrate him as a made up, fun, character. 😛 haha
Each year we bake cookies to leave out for Santa and some carrots for his reindeer. After the holidays we go through all her toys and she picks out items that she would like to donate. We take the toys to a local women’s shelter so they have toys for the kids.
Totally agree with you…The best feeling in the world is: giving :)I always have some snack/ fruit/candy etc in a car. So whenever I see kids on street (they sell garland most of the time), I offer them food. I dont support the idea of kids selling stuff on the street though.