As far back as middle school, I remember being concerned that I was bigger than everyone else. Part of it was because I’ve always been so tall (technically I’m 5′ 11 1/2” but I tell my students I’m 6 feet–they are usually impressed with this) and being a little bigger than everyone else was part of my body type. I have hips, boobs, a butt, and no defined ankles…this will always be my body, no matter how much weight I lose. And my poor daughters have the same no-ankle gene. Sorry kids.
They also have the no-top-lip gene, but that’s for another post.
But genetics only tell part of the story and the rest of my story is I like to eat food. I don’t eat as an emotional reaction, due to stress, out of boredom, or because of some deep, dark emotional scar. If there is stress in my life, I’m likely to lose my appetite. At times, I jokingly request more stress so I can lose a few pounds. I make mostly good food choices, but I eat too much of it. And when I do make bad food choices, I eat too much of it too.
And being chubby (I prefer “chubby” to “fat,” it feels less…ugly) never affected my quality of life. All my clothes came from normal-sized people stores, I could ride roller coasters at the amusement park, creepy men still hit on me at the gas station, I’ve never broken furniture by sitting on it, I could still manage a good no-double-chin picture once in a while. I’ve been living the good, chubby girl life.
I’m not sure what changed, but this summer I decided to be less fat.
We joined a gym about a year ago and I’d lost about five pounds just from moving more. In January, I started documenting my fashion choices on my blog and that made me look at clothes, my body, and pictures of myself differently. And then in June, I started Weight Watchers.
I’ve lost twenty five pounds since June and I’m four pounds away from my original goal weight. But now that I know what my goal weight will look like, I’m hoping to lose another ten after that. And that goal is specifically because of the Olympics.
I was watching a beach volleyball match this summer and the announcer mentioned that one of the players was the same height as me (clarification: he didn’t say “this player is the same height as Mary Graham,” he just said her height and I made the connection all by myself). And this girl looked pretty awesome so I decided that her weight was healthy and it would one day be my weight also.
Because I will never be stick thin. It’s not in my genetic make up. As a thirty-year-old woman, I have finally realized that, finally accepted it. But being healthy is something I can do. For my kids, for my family, and for myself.
Girl, you are gorgeous!!
For the record, I’ve never once considered you “fat.” You’re not “skinny Mary.” You’re not “fat Mary.” You’re not even “slightly voluptuous Mary.” To me, you are Mary – Mary (formerly Ritter) Graham. Proud Mary.
You’ve never been fat to me Mary. Just beautiful, funny, kind Mary. I’m glad your goal is to be healthy and not skinny. It will take you far and help you raise healthy, intelligent, confident girls. I think you look wonderful no matter what! I’m proud of you!
This is a great post, and btw I’ve never looked at your pics and thought you were fat. I have however, noticed that you’ve been losing and that’s great! I have about 30 lbs extra on me and you’ve been a great inspiration!
Okay you are NOT fat at all! You look amazing! Good job on your accomplishment, you are so awesome for posting this! We all have our insecurities and it’s refreshing to read a blog that doesn’t paint a picture of perfection… 🙂
You are beautiful and curvy, and I looked at your photo and the title and thought-she’s not fat? But being kinda new here I don’t know your full story, or how you feel about yourself. I’ve been fat my whole life too, and it’s inspirational to me that you’re doing something about it-I need to take a page out of your book. Love your blog, and love your outfits!
You are not fat. Lol.. It amazes me that you think that!!! And I will stand here as a witness because I’ve seen you in person!!!!!!
Not only are you not fat, you’re also not 30. 🙂
Not only are you not fat, you’re also not 30. 🙂
This post inspires me! I have the opposite problem of you– I am 5ft even on a GOOD day so those extra pounds are totally noticeable. I think it is awesome that you are doing it for your family and kids, and not just you. You look awesome!
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Mary, you are as beautiful as your mother. Neither one of you guys ever look like you get older. Both no you are all beautiful inside and out.