My children hate to have their nails trimmed.
It’s traumatic and chaotic and any other adjective that ends in -tic that means not going well.
Ellie cries the whole time. Harper has to be physically restrained by Chris while I do the dirty work. Most of the time it’s funny and entertaining how hard those two fight against a nail trim. Occasionally it’s annoying and frustrating.
But what I love is their fight.
My children are fighters.
And not in the physical sense where they want to be violent (although they do like to hit each other when they think we are not watching), but in a way that makes them never give up. They are persistent and focused and driven.
When Elliott was about six months old and her personality was just beginning to really show itself, I mentioned to a group of my colleagues about her stubborness and it being a battle. One of our seasoned counselors who is just the wisest of wise said that trait could be a blessing or a curse depending on how I looked at it.
That conversation has stuck with me.
I want to look at my children–all parts of them–as blessings as opposed to something I have to live through. Their strong will is from me and while I’m sure we will have battles (hello, teenage years), I want to never forget that who they are and what they are becoming is a good thing.
The traits that they have are from God–and I can help nuture them and make them great and benefit His kingdom or I can try to squash and control them, try to “fix them” in my eyes.
I really don’t want to feel like I have to fix them.
Margaret Thatcher once said “Power is like being a lady…if you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” I want my daughters to know they hold such power, determination, resolve and focus, but that picking your battles is part of that power.
I’m learning a lot about power right now. What it means and what it doesn’t. What it can control and what it can’t. And how power can hurt or help.
My prayer right now is that my husband and I can mold and encourage our children in all their strong willed spunkiness. That we can help them use their powers for good instead of evil. That they will be world changers and know the power they hold—and use it wisely.
I love the sweater, I have been looking for one like that. Our prayers are the same regarding kids
GREAT POST FRIEND! 🙂
I really needed this post right now. My kids are stubborn and Irelyn is the most stubborn out of them. I know down the line this will be a good trait for her to have, because my sister was stubborn and that stubbornness worked in her favor when peer pressure set in as teen. It’s just, right now, it drives me nuts. Because she uses it against me. Anyway, reading this was a good reminder that I can nurture this gift or fight it, so thank you.
PS: I’m on my phone & it’s all wonky. Sorry if I make little sense. 🙂
Wow, beautifully written. I really needed this post today. I locked myself in my room for an hour yesterday and called my husband in tears. 2 rolls of toilet paper shoved in the toilet, a bottle of windex dumped everywhere, and my brand new contacts torn apart. My kids usually aren’t that crazy, but it was one of those days. Lots of screaming, no one would eat their lunch or dinner or listen to ANYTHING I told them to do. And all my husband could say was “Do you think your attitude has anything to do with it?” That made me so mad because I knew he was right. Anyway, today is a new day and a wonderful one at that. Thank you.
This is a fantastic post, dear friend. N also has that strong willedness about her and that spunk and a colleague once told ME the same thing. Uncanny. Also, loving this outfit on you!
Oh Mary. I’m 7 years ahead of you, friend. It was quite a battle when she was younger-yes, we were those parents who had to stop shopping and take our screaming child out of stores RIGHT THEN. While it doesn’t get any easier, if just changes form, I will say, her stubbornness has helped with defending those feeling left out and telling the “mean girls” to cut it out. May we raise our daughters to fulfill God’s word and be strong, not willing to compromise on morals, yet humble and loving.
I love this post. Kenley from day ONE has been way more of a fighter than Brayden ever was. Other words people use to describe her? Sassy. Spunky. Determined. Stubborn. Like you, I need to see it more as a blessing. One day this will pay off! 🙂