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the fall of 2017

Every autumn, we have our family pictures taken.

We get dressed up, Kaitlyn Huff comes over, and we pose for some family photos. We’ve been doing this for years. Kaitlyn took Ellie’s pictures for the first time when she was two months old. I think Kaitlyn was only a few years older than Ellie at the time.

But now she’s expecting her second child, and I have wrinkles I don’t like to acknowledge.

When October rolled around again, Kaitlyn texted, “Can I come and take pictures of you and the girls?”

This wasn’t unexpected. The nights were cooling off, the days were getting shorter, and the trees were beginning to change colors. Those things meant it was family picture time. I’d been wondering about what to do about them.

Kaitlyn offered the answer.

“Yes, let’s do it,” I replied.

She came on a Thursday afternoon as the sun was in its golden hour. We ran around the yard, hiked down to the blackberry patch, stood next to the newly harvested back field.

Chris didn’t join us. He was still in rehab.

It felt weird and right. It felt sad and joyous.

This was us right now. The girls and I. The day we had our family pictures done, Chris had been gone sixty-four days. When I held up the crushed beer can sixty-four days ago and told him to leave, I thought it would only be a momentary absence and also a forever one.

I thought the worst and the best.

On August 24th, I became a single parent. Chris wasn’t capable or healthy enough to help shoulder this load. It has been me and only me since that day. The girls have seen my absolute worst and, I’d like to think, they’ve seen me at my best. Sometimes in the same moment. Sometimes in the same breath.

We did our family pictures with the three of us because that’s who our family is right now. And right now, about two weeks later, it’s still just the three Graham girls. We are surviving. We are healing. We are laughing.

I don’t know what next year’s family picture will look like. But this one—in this exact moment—was really important to document.

These photos are either going to be a reminder of how we survived the worst moments in our little family’s history or a great introduction to the new family unit we’re evolving into.

These photos are going to be a memory of us still breathing through devastation.

These photos are going to be a souvenir of 2017 and all its setbacks and triumphs.

These photos are us, broken and beautiful, bruised but still standing. Still full of joy. Still loving. Still hopeful. Still trusting God to write the rest of the story in His time and not ours.

These photos are the Graham girls in the fall (in more ways than one) of 2017.

 

If you’re local to Indy (or not!) and need photographs made, Kaitlyn Huff is your girl. Tell her Mary Graham sent you. Tell her to wear her blue bra.
« October 2017 reads
coming home, part one »

Comments

  1. Becky Henderson says

    November 9, 2017 at 9:14 AM

    Picture #3 is absolutely breathtaking. Love you Mary!

    Reply
  2. Jessica says

    November 9, 2017 at 9:20 AM

    Beautiful photos I am getting our outfits ready to do the same thing this coming Saturday. We always do our family photos in the fall too, this year it’s just my 3 boys and I. My husband is incarcerated. Trying to find a way to rehab. I don’t know what the future holds for our family. Sending love, hugs and prayers to yours

    Reply
  3. Mandy Ford says

    November 9, 2017 at 9:25 AM

    Well good grief I really shouldn’t read your blog when I’m at work. These are breathtaking, as are your words friend.

    Reply
  4. Pat Lawrence says

    November 9, 2017 at 10:06 AM

    Beautiful pics,. I agree with Becky that #3 is breathtaking. You are an awesome woman. Stay strong. You and your family are in my prayers.

    Reply
  5. Emily says

    November 9, 2017 at 11:11 AM

    The Graham Girls are pretty awesome. You all will treasure these pictures more and more over the years. Keep on laughing and crying and healing. You got this.

    Reply
  6. Heather says

    November 9, 2017 at 12:11 PM

    I just can’t stop crying. You’re all just so lovely and I pray for you every day. The pictures are just the best. I’m so glad this season has been captured so beautifully…keep your chin up, strong girls.

    Reply
  7. Charla Smith says

    November 9, 2017 at 2:10 PM

    I cherish the photographer friend that showed up in my divorce. I love the happiness she captured in Grace and I. The time was dark, hard & stressful. The pictures are precious moments.

    Reply
  8. gretchen says

    November 9, 2017 at 2:30 PM

    Ok so you are BEAUTIFUL and so is that dress. Do you mind sharing where it came from? Just gorgeous!!! I don’t know you personally but in reading your story, I think you’re amazing. I’m glad you did the photo shoot.

    Reply
  9. Whitney Koehn says

    November 9, 2017 at 2:35 PM

    This is beautiful and I’m so proud of you. Wishing you peace through the holiday season…

    Reply
  10. LM says

    November 9, 2017 at 3:55 PM

    That top pic where the girls are smiling up at you says it all. You should feel proud and brave to be the woman you are.

    Reply
  11. Vickie Benedict says

    November 10, 2017 at 9:04 AM

    Love, Love LOVE YOUR PHOTOS! It captured this very moment that is a very important time in your life. Three strong lil chick a dees! Proud of you Miss Mary! Love you bunches!!!

    Reply
  12. Teresa McMillan says

    November 10, 2017 at 9:17 AM

    Beautiful family. You are doing a great job!

    Reply
  13. Annie says

    November 10, 2017 at 9:25 PM

    Beautiful photos. Continuing to pray for your situation.

    Reply
  14. chrisgharmon says

    November 13, 2017 at 11:17 AM

    So beautiful. The pictures, the girls, the words. So much love to you.

    Reply
  15. Megan Newbury says

    November 13, 2017 at 10:58 PM

    Funny story…Kaitlyn Huff is my cousin’s sister-in-law. My cousin whose brother left his wife of mere months, for alcohol. I don’t know Kaitlyn, but she is my family’s family. I am glad she’s there for you.

    – Megan Rose a.k.a. @megs_around

    Reply
  16. Sarah says

    November 15, 2017 at 2:49 PM

    Did I already tell you that I love that you did this? I’ll gladly tell you 25 and more times. These are stunning and so much. This post got me all choked up. You’re an extraordinary woman, Mary Graham. It is clear your daughters already see this, and this will be a beautiful reminder of that throughout the years. Love to you ladies.

    Reply
  17. Arnita says

    December 31, 2017 at 3:06 PM

    Hi Mary!

    The photos are absolutely gorgeous! I will tell Kaitlyn you sent me…not sure about mentioning the “blue bra” though.

    I admire your strength as you forge ahead through the journey of life, alone with your girls. Your blog posts are interesting, relevant, and thought-provoking.

    It was a privilege and a pleasure to have met you in person. You visited Professor Alan Lewis’ class at Ivy Tech, and shared tips on blogging last year. As I read your blog, and to have met you, I have more of a “connection” with you, much more than just reading about someone online.

    In the past, I have been casually blogging. But now I am seriously taking it on as an encore career, since I am very close to retiring from the “rat race.” I took notes on the blogging advice you provided during your presentation, and refer to them often.

    Thanks so much for sharing!

    Reply

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