Mary Graham

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to worry less about the mess

Hi, my name is Mary and I am a party pooper.

Okay, not technically, since I’m more of a only-like-to-poop-at-home pooper. But I do like to kill the joy of would-be activities my children dream up often.

See, I have this problem with mess. Like, really big problem with mess. And so when my sweet children want to do something fun like make a giant blanket fort in the basement or fingerpaint before naps, I automatically say no.

Because my first thought isn’t about how my fun it will be or what they can learn or the joy it will bring them, my first thought it well, that will make a mess and I don’t want to clean it up.

I’m that uptight mom that says no just because.

And I’ve acknowledged this character flaw. I even wrote it down as a reminder to not immediately say no to all requests my daughters make. And now I’m sharing it with you so I can work it out in my little brain. Because that’s what this blog does for me. The writing helps me process and I really don’t want to be the no-fun mom so I need to processthissituationout.

I do have spurts of okay-with-the-messiness. There are certain times where the mess is fine. But not for very long or I get itchy and really shaky. I’m sure there’s a pill for this, but I prefer to be uptight and bitchy than rely on medication. (Unless there’s a skinny pill and then I’ll take it…wait, isn’t that crack? Okay, I’m not sure I’ll take it. Let me think about it.)

When I was younger, our house was often turned into a giant haunted house. In the middle of summer complete with loud scary music and fake hatchets covered in red lipstick for effect. Or we’d spend a fall day in our clothesline tent playing house and adding rooms with whatever sheets we could find. And I don’t remember my mom being worried about the mess. But I remember the fun we had.

And I want that for my own kids.

I want them to remember carting out every single blanket we own so they could have a camp out under their swingset. I want their imaginations to run wild with the possibilities of a cardboard box and some markers. I want fingerpaint under their nails and glitter forever in their hair.

And I want to not care about the mess.

That’s pretty much my only goal for this summer.

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Comments

  1. Ken.Young3rd says

    June 13, 2013 at

    Dear Mary the party pooper,

    I, too, am that person. Hi, my name is Ken and I’m also a party pooper. And since you mentioned it, there is nothing quite like pooping at home on your own throne but when nature calls out in public, I do prefer some privacy. Von Maur has some very nice and private stalls. I’m talking floor to ceiling walls. Anywho…

    I had this same conversation a couple weeks ago. How can a guy who used to be a dirty kid and not give a rip about be the way that I am today? I mean, I lived next to a field that would flood quite often. Did I play in it? Yep. Did I care about the stink and muck? Nope. Nowadays, I have a problem even letting my kid eat a piece of cake because of the icing that will get all over the place.

    Clutter bothers the hell out of me but I’ve dealt with clutter all my life so I’ve learned to tolerate and live with it. And piles? The wife will tell you that I have a problem with my piles but she doesn’t get it.

    In the end, being a kid is all about being a kid. Although I like to think of myself as a big kid, sometimes it’s hard to put being a parent aside. And like you there are a few times when I decide that messiness is okay but more often, I will try my best to put myself in their shoes, get messy or let the mess be created, and just have fun. Whether getting muddy or building a fort using the living room, I want my kids to look back on their childhood and remember the fun times they had.

    Reply
  2. Wanda Reilly (a.k.a. Jessica's Mom ) says

    June 13, 2013 at

    Great goal !!!!! Have a great summer and enjoy the mess. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Mary Evelyn says

    June 13, 2013 at

    So true! I experienced waves of terror when my son’s therapist recommended that I put pureed food on his tray and let him “play” in it. The horror! I even have a hard time letting my elementary school students “help” with clean up in the library because I know I can do it faster (and better, for that matter). It’s a habit worth breaking.

    I wonder if I embrace the mess, will it lead to more family fun or will it land me on the TV show “Hoarders”? My hope is the former. Guess we’ll have to find out.

    Great post!

    Reply
  4. BoldButterBaby says

    June 13, 2013 at

    I like bitchy Tiffani.

    There is no pill. But there is a liquid that does fix this problem.

    Reply
  5. Julie S. says

    June 15, 2013 at

    I am the worst at this, too. I hate our sandbox, hate dirt piles, hate fingerpaint, hate markers. SIGH. I am working on it.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. to worry less about the mess says:
    August 1, 2014 at

    […] post was first published in June 2013 but is getting new life thanks to reFresh […]

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